LoveBoat242 Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 It's been exactly 2 weeks since my ex broke up with me, i'm on day 3 of NC, 3 days ago i found out she cheated on me havne't spoken since.. Before i found out i was a wreck emotional wreck, then i found out that she cheated on me when i was with my mates, i was upset but didn't show it, later that night all my feelings of upset was gone, nothing felt real it's been 3 days and i still haven't goten upset, does this mean i don't care about her anymore/love her? or it just hasn't sunk in yet, i have so much hate towards her but no intense sadness.
d0nnivain Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 It means that you reached the anger stage of your grieving process. You also have some closure through concrete evidence that the decision to break up was a good one.
Author LoveBoat242 Posted December 3, 2013 Author Posted December 3, 2013 It means that you reached the anger stage of your grieving process. You also have some closure through concrete evidence that the decision to break up was a good one. Okay, what happens after anger? Sad again? :/
barky2 Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 Hold onto the anger stage as long as possible, best stage that you enter. Barky
LostConfused123 Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 Okay, what happens after anger? Sad again? :/ I know it's different for everyone but I'm pretty sure after anger comes acceptance. You will (like all of us) more than likely have your sad moments but nothing like before. Then FREEDOM!!! Can't wait for that day!!!! For all of us Best of luck to you!
Chi townD Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 Could be a little shock going on right now. Your mind is protecting you from any additional stress until you've have time to process this new information. The anger will probably return. OR By discovering that she cheated on you helped you to finally let go of any false hope that you had with ever getting back with her. That you've determined that she found your dealbreaker and there's no going back. therefore, you're starting to move forward.
LostConfused123 Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 Hold onto the anger stage as long as possible, best stage that you enter. Barky Really? why is it the best? Not to thread jack but I'd really like to know. I'm approaching that stage and it terrifies me. Maybe I shouldn't be so scared and just embrace it??? Thanks in advance
BlessYourCottonSocks Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 (edited) No. You are in shock. That's what this is. Not anger. You will KNOW the anger stage when you get there because you won't have to question it. I'm in shock right now. It's a numbing feeling and a careless feeling. Then reality will kick in and you might go through all sorts of feelings in one day in the beginning then over time it will start to spread out. Until you finally reach acceptance. Edited December 3, 2013 by BlessYourCottonSocks
Chi townD Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 Really? why is it the best? Not to thread jack but I'd really like to know. I'm approaching that stage and it terrifies me. Maybe I shouldn't be so scared and just embrace it??? Thanks in advance Because the anger phase doesn't hurt as much as the big pile of blubbering goo that we've been before. The anger phase helps us feel a little empowered, like they don't have anymore power over us. Also, the anger phase is a prime opportunity to start making positive changes in your life. It motivates you to move forward and show them that you don't need a person like that in your life. To prove them wrong. 1
LostConfused123 Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 Because the anger phase doesn't hurt as much as the big pile of blubbering goo that we've been before. The anger phase helps us feel a little empowered, like they don't have anymore power over us. Also, the anger phase is a prime opportunity to start making positive changes in your life. It motivates you to move forward and show them that you don't need a person like that in your life. To prove them wrong. Thank you Makes sense. I guess I was afraid to go through it because I didn't want to end up a bitter and cranky woman. But like all the stages of being dumped, I suppose the anger will pass just like all the other stages. Good luck everyone! 1
Chi townD Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 Yep! The anger phase is just that. A phase. And you may not like the way you feel during this time and you may feel a lot of anger and hatred towards your Ex. However, that is completely normal. But, it gives you a couple of options. Either you can sit and stew in your anger or you can turn it into something positive. I would prefer if you chose the latter. The ultimate goal is to get to a feeling of indifference towards your Ex. 1
Author LoveBoat242 Posted December 5, 2013 Author Posted December 5, 2013 I'm on day 6 of NC After Cheating ex ended it, i can't block her number because of the type of phone i have, my iphone 5 doesnt have a block option, first day since i found out she cheated ( 5 Days ago ) she called me, i didn't answer but now i just don't feel the same, i'm leaning towards sad again ~ Just venting
crazybestie101 Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 I'm on day 6 of NC After Cheating ex ended it, i can't block her number because of the type of phone i have, my iphone 5 doesnt have a block option, first day since i found out she cheated ( 5 Days ago ) she called me, i didn't answer but now i just don't feel the same, i'm leaning towards sad again ~ Just venting Damn dude, it's not iphone that doesn't have blocking feature. Download ios 7 you will be able to block her completely. 3
Author LoveBoat242 Posted December 5, 2013 Author Posted December 5, 2013 Damn dude, it's not iphone that doesn't have blocking feature. Download ios 7 you will be able to block her completely. Alright
headinthecloud Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 How awful! I've been there. Cheaters are selfish douchebags. She did you a favor! Be thankful. You're doing great. Keep the strict NC. And that includes blocking all social media and resist looking her up on twitter or dating sites, etc.. It's normal to want to know how they are doing because you love them. But remind yourself that she doesnt want you in her life. And you deserve much better than that. Read Barky2's post on the broken hearted, it has some great tips. You're going to have some good days and some crap days that will feel like you're back at square one. Have a plan for the bad days: go to the gym, hangout with friends, go to the cinema. In time, there will be fewer bad days. And then one day you'll be going to bed and realize you went an entire day without thinking of her. Be strong. You deserve someone who loves you as much as you love them. --
melell Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 Yeah, just keep going forward. Those feelings do die down with time. It really sucks that you have the option to talk to them, but resist, it isn't worth it holding you back.
Author LoveBoat242 Posted December 5, 2013 Author Posted December 5, 2013 Yeah, just keep going forward. Those feelings do die down with time. It really sucks that you have the option to talk to them, but resist, it isn't worth it holding you back. It does, i deleted the message she sent because i didn't want to have access to read what she had to said, it was hard and i'll probably regret it but it wad the best thing to do
Author LoveBoat242 Posted December 5, 2013 Author Posted December 5, 2013 I'm just saying this here instead of making new thread. I've been talking to this girl for 1 or 2 days now just as friends and she's really nice and all but i'm scared of females, i'm actually really scared of getting hurt like i did again and i think my trust has been broken forever.
strive Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 Don't let one female dictate the way you see all other females. Also, if you're feeling like that, it's because you still haven't gotten over what your cheating ex did to you. Let go of all the hate/fear/hurt first, heal completely, then you'll see that not all females are bad.
BOREDouttaMymind Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 yep this is what happens my friend. someone hurts us by cheating and then they start calling and trying to see you and all that. theres 2 types of cheaters. one calls and calls and calls because they feel guilty for what they did. they don't really feel bad because hey..they did it in the first place, right? they call because they want some sort of reassurance from you that what they did isn't as bad as they think. they pretty much want you to say "itll be ok" just to make them feel better. then you have the second kind of cheater. the one who truly is sorry and is calling to fix the relationship. the hard part is..most time, when teens cheat or cheating happens in a new relationship.. its typically the first kind of cheater. established relationships most times are the second kind. so its up to you to be HONEST with yourself about why is she calling. does she really want to fix what she did? or just talk to you to feel better about what she did so she can go do it again. good luck. youll be ok in time. 1
Chi townD Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 I'm just saying this here instead of making new thread. I've been talking to this girl for 1 or 2 days now just as friends and she's really nice and all but i'm scared of females, i'm actually really scared of getting hurt like i did again and i think my trust has been broken forever. Damn dude, you literally just got out of a relationship and you're talking to another girl? Dude, seriously...slow down! Take time to be by yourself for a while. Take time to heal from this. Because, if you're not over your Ex or the pain that she caused you, then you're not being fair to yourself or the girl you've been talking to.
Author LoveBoat242 Posted December 5, 2013 Author Posted December 5, 2013 Damn dude, you literally just got out of a relationship and you're talking to another girl? Dude, seriously...slow down! Take time to be by yourself for a while. Take time to heal from this. Because, if you're not over your Ex or the pain that she caused you, then you're not being fair to yourself or the girl you've been talking to. No it's not like that, it's just as a friend, during relationship i had like no contact with other girls, she was my friend before relationship started and she messaged me to see how i was and etc.. but i was scared to tell her anything because i can't trust people anymore..
Author LoveBoat242 Posted December 8, 2013 Author Posted December 8, 2013 Yep! The anger phase is just that. A phase. And you may not like the way you feel during this time and you may feel a lot of anger and hatred towards your Ex. However, that is completely normal. But, it gives you a couple of options. Either you can sit and stew in your anger or you can turn it into something positive. I would prefer if you chose the latter. The ultimate goal is to get to a feeling of indifference towards your Ex. I do feel indifferent from her now, it's been another 4 days, i still feel the same, i'm not overly sad, i still have a bit of anger towards her, there would be periods of the day where i wouldn't think of her, i've been occupied since i found out with friends etc.. then later i'd sit down and realize i haven't thought about her until then, do you guys think its still shock? because i haven't got upset like i thought i would, i did see her the other day not contact just saw her, i started shaking and got paranoid but nothing bad besides that. :/
Author LoveBoat242 Posted December 8, 2013 Author Posted December 8, 2013 It's been 3 weeks since break up, 5 days since i found out she cheated, it hasn't hit me yet i'm not overly upset or anything like i thought i would, the night i found out she cheated i was upset but i was with mates so i couldn't show it, since then i haven't really hit a sad spot, i felt anger but now i don't know i'm sad that she cheated and all and mad but i just don't know.. i thought i would feel overly upset, some people think i'm still in shock but it's been 5 days.. I don't know whats going on with me at the moment, i still think about her everyday not all day just parts of the day when my mind drifts, not good thoughts about her though, should i still be preparing for when it sinks in or is it going to affect me any more then it has? i'm also on day 6 of NC And i'm getting a bit of an urge to contact her because i don't feel bad about it at the moment. Hmm very confused about everything
BOREDouttaMymind Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 sucks dude! happened to me 6 times, and every 6 times, whenever I thought about the images of her and him, it felt like a gut punch over and over to the point I was curled up in a ball crying. what your feeling is normal. the urge to contact her is normal. if you have to, do it. it wont help. she made her choice. but if you NEED to..contact her. whats the worst that can happen? she going to cheat on you? right? from now on, until enough time has past for you to heal from this crap, youre going to feel confused, hurt, REJECTED. youre going to cry. its totally normal. feel the pain to get past it. when no ones home, scream until your throat hurts. youll use up so much energy, it makes the pain less. the truth is, it just sucks. and it hurts. but you will be ok from this. besides, she cheated. when youre 87 years old, and pooping you pants in a nursing home, are you really going to be thinking about her.. or youre awesome wife. see my point? <--- hoppy white thing
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