found out she's getting married, i didn't expect it to bother me, but it did

[Used2KnowU]

i haven't been on here for a while. been keeping myself busy, new job, going back to school, spending time with friends and family, talking to new girls and just overall having fun while bettering myself. everything i should be doing.

 

to give a quick update, we were together for the better half of 6 years, broken up over a year now with low contact at first and no contact for several months except for a happy bday message from her. well i found out she's getting married to her b/f and now i just feel down and out like day one.

 

i know i'll get over it and go back to my day tomorrow but i just really needed to say it. happy to hear any input guys.

[elbe]

Poor guy doesn't know what he is committing to...

[OnTheRightPath]

I think it is 100% normal to feel sad.......just the proverbial final nail in the coffin.

 

I doubt it will cause you to start the healing process over again. I'd say it's just a very temporary feeling that will fade rather quickly.

[Used2KnowU]

Poor guy doesn't know what he is committing to...

 

a family member said the same thing, lol

 

just doesn't make sense to me. engaged to be married so soon especially after such a long previous relationship. maybe i just think differently

[Am4Real]

Been there done it my friend…

 

At first I was shocked, then sad, depressed for a bit and then it became humorous to me and still is. It doesn’t bother me at all. If it works for her – great; if it doesn’t – great as well.

 

The circumstances are long and tired and the damage is done. If marriage found her for the right reasons then that’s the way it was supposed to be. If she found marriage for the wrong reasons (rebound) then the price is likely to be much higher than what I went through in the b/u and learning of an engagement three weeks after we split followed by her marriage eight weeks after that. Doing the math, we split and she was married eleven weeks later.

 

So yes, “I’ve been there done it” and can relate to your story.

 

No worries…manage your shock, sadness, and short depression, then enjoy the humor of it all. Life sure is grand if you take it with the right attitude.

 

 

 

a family member said the same thing, lol

 

just doesn't make sense to me. engaged to be married so soon especially after such a long previous relationship. maybe i just think differently

[Used2KnowU]

@am4real - thanks for the words of wisdom. im sorry you had to deal with that within an 11 week span from break up, thats some crazy **** man. thought about it for a while last night and i did have a bit of a chuckle since their both each other's rebound. i say more power to them if they found something that works.

 

@OnTheRightPath - you 100% right on this being the proverbial nail in the coffin

 

 

i still feel a bit awkward but i'm back to my busy schedule. been in regular contact past 3 months with someone i'm interested in. just friendly conversation and few outings here and there but we are both quite busy with ourselves. hearing about my ex has made me cherish the fact that i took a break from love, focused on myself and also that the current love interest is happy taking everything slow. i don't want to sound spiteful in anyway as i really do wish my ex the best in her life but i do feel that i got better end of the stick even though i still got a lot to do personally.

[kohsa_23]

I broke up with my ex a month back And after a week she started dating someone and within the first week they decided to get married, next week on 11th is their big day, btw this would be her fourth marriage lol

[confused192]

It is absolutely normal to experience some uncomfortable feelings when finding out an ex is getting married, but it sounds like you are doing the exact right things in order to move forward. Actually, you sound quite level-headed about the whole situation! Best of luck to you on your new path!

[Used2KnowU]

this is crazy. i need one of you to set me straight because i really feel i'm about to break everything in the damn house. this was not bothering me, i've been busy enjoying the season but ever since last night i cant stop thinking about her.

 

i can't help but be down, why does part of me still love this woman after all this time. hell we don't even talk but today feels like we broke up yesterday. its partly my fault i was cleaning up for the new year and came across some old stuff from our time and i threw it out no problem but now i just feel horrible.

 

what the hell is wrong with me. i'm closer to my immediate family than i have ever been, i have removed myself from individuals who don't better me, spending more time with my nephew, talking to a great girl, even have a second round interview for another job in the morning. but here i am sulking because she is engaged. all that time, effort, planning, family talks, vacations, and she's engaged and telling the world about it. its as if what we had meant absolutely nothing. one of her cousins even went so far as to message me n rub it in my face(this the cousin that never liked me of course).

 

what am i doing wrong?

 

thanks for any input guys. i hope i would not be on this site 2014 but hey look at me first day

[Am4Real]

It's normal to feel shell shocked at first -- that's big news and certainly makes you wonder what "they" have and you two didn't. Remember though, not every "is" as it seems.

 

This shall pass soon. Give it 48 hours from now and hang tight...chin up...stay focused on YOU not THEM!

 

this is crazy. i need one of you to set me straight because i really feel i'm about to break everything in the damn house. this was not bothering me, i've been busy enjoying the season but ever since last night i cant stop thinking about her.

 

i can't help but be down, why does part of me still love this woman after all this time. hell we don't even talk but today feels like we broke up yesterday. its partly my fault i was cleaning up for the new year and came across some old stuff from our time and i threw it out no problem but now i just feel horrible.

 

what the hell is wrong with me. i'm closer to my immediate family than i have ever been, i have removed myself from individuals who don't better me, spending more time with my nephew, talking to a great girl, even have a second round interview for another job in the morning. but here i am sulking because she is engaged. all that time, effort, planning, family talks, vacations, and she's engaged and telling the world about it. its as if what we had meant absolutely nothing. one of her cousins even went so far as to message me n rub it in my face(this the cousin that never liked me of course).

 

what am i doing wrong?

 

thanks for any input guys. i hope i would not be on this site 2014 but hey look at me first day

[InnocentMan]

Been there done it my friend…

 

At first I was shocked, then sad, depressed for a bit and then it became humorous to me and still is. It doesn’t bother me at all. If it works for her – great; if it doesn’t – great as well.

 

The circumstances are long and tired and the damage is done. If marriage found her for the right reasons then that’s the way it was supposed to be. If she found marriage for the wrong reasons (rebound) then the price is likely to be much higher than what I went through in the b/u and learning of an engagement three weeks after we split followed by her marriage eight weeks after that. Doing the math, we split and she was married eleven weeks later.

 

So yes, “I’ve been there done it” and can relate to your story.

 

No worries…manage your shock, sadness, and short depression, then enjoy the humor of it all. Life sure is grand if you take it with the right attitude.

 

I'll see your 11 weeks, and raise you a 54 days, from meeting through engagement, to marriage. I have to confess, my first reaction was laughter also. Still brutal though. I was kinda the one that ended things, but still....

[bubbaganoosh]

I'm going to assume that you haven't met another girl. She met another guy and is now getting ready to marry him. Bet you anything that if you had someone in your life, you wouldn't be taking this so hard.

 

Either way. You gotta let it go. All it's going to do is give you grey hair. Not worth it.

[Am4Real]

No kidding? Wow! That's a ROYAL FLUSH (pun intended in more ways than one).

 

 

I'll see your 11 weeks, and raise you a 54 days, from meeting through engagement, to marriage. I have to confess, my first reaction was laughter also. Still brutal though. I was kinda the one that ended things, but still....

[Used2KnowU]

@am4real - thanks man, need that. its been a month since i first heard the news and it never really bothered me. but today it chose to really bother me.

 

@bubbaganoosh - yea i know i got to let it go. i've already gotten 3 brand new grey hairs within the 2013, definitely don't want any more showing up for a few more years. oh and i have met someone i am interested in and we talk often but we both decided to keep it friendly for now, neither of us wants to rush into a relationship.

 

 

i know most of you on here will say get over it, move on, life your life and believe me i have been slowly getting back into full effect. this was my right hand for 6 years, we were friends for 2 years before that. thats 8 years, now we don't even talk. **** we know things bout each other i guarantee no one else knows and/or will ever find out. yea i know who didn't love their ex right.

 

a friend of mine made joke n said she only broke your heart, your lucky. if you where married she would've broken your heart and took half your ****, lol.

 

thanks again guys/girls, the support from this site has been great especially when venting is needed

[mtnbiker3000]

I agree. She's got issues. To go from a 6 year RS with you to getting engaged in a very short time to someone else?? That is not the actions of an emotionally stable / mature person. Be glad you're done with her. Some other poor schmucks problem now...

[Used2KnowU]

@mtnbiker3000 - you are so right. its his problem now and i wish them all the best with whatever happens.

 

 

feel much better today, especially after completing my interview. when i met her i was established and as a good man i brought her along for the ride and helped her in anyway i can, even got her the job she still currently works at. no reason why i cant be the same guy, actually no, there is no reason why i can't be an even better man than before.

 

again thank you all for the opinions and support.