Mimsicles Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 What is the deal with guys initiating contact via text, then receiving a reply but then responding to that with a one-worded response? Surely if they didn't want to text then they wouldn't initiate in the first case. To be honest it's making me lose interest quickly! He has said to me before he's a lazy texter but I've still never had a phone call off him. Should I avoid guys like this?
ShyGuy5 Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 Must be good in person. I am the opposite I turn into jello in person but I am a great texter
Keenly Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 One message doesn't mean he wants to have a conversation .
nescafe1982 Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 That's all he's got. Really. He didn't plan for further conversation. I'm only partly jesting. Some dudes I know will text a girl, and when they get a reply, they don't know how to respond. They over think it, and then either 1) don't respond at all, or 2) respond with "K". But starting a flirtation or a relationship over text is a terrible idea to begin with, IMO. If you like the guy, spend some real time with him, in person. Texting is the death or dating. I might be an old fart though (I'm 31). 1
devilish innocent Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 Maybe he just sent the text to show he's thinking of you, or maybe he doesn't know how to carry on an electronic conversation. I wouldn't necessarily rule a guy out just for this. Try to see what he's like in person before you decide.
elbe Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 It's the old one step forward two steps back. He's reeling you in... :lol:
writergal Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 As a GenXer, I always tell men I date that I don't have a text plan so that they'll have to actually call me if they want to reach me. When they ask me for my email address, I tell them I don't have one. If a man can't pick up the phone to call you, he's not worth dating. Texting has ruined dating. 1
soccerrprp Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 As a GenXer, I always tell men I date that I don't have a text plan so that they'll have to actually call me if they want to reach me. When they ask me for my email address, I tell them I don't have one. If a man can't pick up the phone to call you, he's not worth dating. Texting has ruined dating. Nice. I'm 44 and an adept texter. Resisted at first, but use it to my advantage. It's another form of communication and when used properly, very effective. I've used it throughout my dating w/ no negative side-effects. The most important thing here is COMMUNICATION. Or, I should say, the level of comfort and style of communication. I love to speak over the phone, text and in person. I am a communicator. If the person you're dating prefers, to some obsession, to text, it is a clear sign that his over-all communication style and level of comfort is at issue here. Poor texter AND won't call, well, he's simply a poor communicator and equally lazy whether he's speaking to you in person or digitally. A lot of young men today are like this. Poor communicators. The type of responses you get from texts are quite indicative of the types of responses you'll likely get from his mouth. Otherwise, he's playing games. 3
MrMeh Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 I love to talk. Texting is pretty boring unless the other person has a good sense of humor, but even then, nothing beats talking on the phone next to actually seeing the person. You could try putting him on the spot and asking him if he was always afraid of calling girls.
Keenly Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 If a man can't pick up the phone to call you, he's not worth dating. So if John Smith was perfect in every single way possible, sexy, confident, a leader, made good money, a great father, a fantastic lover, but he didn't like talking on the phone, you would disregard him for such a minute detail?
writergal Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 So if John Smith was perfect in every single way possible, sexy, confident, a leader, made good money, a great father, a fantastic lover, but he didn't like talking on the phone, you would disregard him for such a minute detail? Communication is at the top of my "must have in a partner" list. If he doesn't possess good communication skills, none of those other qualities matter to me, sonny. 1
Kkristine Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 Some guys don't like to talk on the phone. I don't like to either. One word responses to me means, I have better things to do.
oldyoungsoul Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 I ask myself the exact same thing. That has also happened to me on Facebook chat. I had a crush on a guy for a while who would initiate a conversation on Facebook chat, just to later end it with a ''oh that's great'' or a smiley..a smiley! After I had typed a looong response. Seriously....what's the deal with that? To me that just sounds like someone's either immature, or they aren't good communicators or.....they're not interested. Which one is it?
soccerrprp Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 So if John Smith was perfect in every single way possible, sexy, confident, a leader, made good money, a great father, a fantastic lover, but he didn't like talking on the phone, you would disregard him for such a minute detail? Unfortunately, one finds out early on, long before you realize all the above, whether communication is going to be an issue. Many divorces and tension in relationships are due to lack of good communication and having all of these fine qualities isn't going to be enough, typically, to save a relationship. I ask myself the exact same thing. That has also happened to me on Facebook chat. I had a crush on a guy for a while who would initiate a conversation on Facebook chat, just to later end it with a ''oh that's great'' or a smiley..a smiley! After I had typed a looong response. Seriously....what's the deal with that? To me that just sounds like someone's either immature, or they aren't good communicators or.....they're not interested. Which one is it? All of the above are possible. But, I'd bet on the latter two.
Vogeltron Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 What is the deal with guys initiating contact via text, then receiving a reply but then responding to that with a one-worded response? Surely if they didn't want to text then they wouldn't initiate in the first case. To be honest it's making me lose interest quickly! He has said to me before he's a lazy texter but I've still never had a phone call off him. Should I avoid guys like this? Women TXT message. Real men do not send a text message or communicate via that forum. Real men call a women and speak to her in person. The fact that you are asking me about a guy who can't text sounds like you are interested in a boy who would rather play video games than talk to a pretty woman. The fact they even send text messages should be a red flag to begin with.
soccerrprp Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 Women TXT message. Real men do not send a text message or communicate via that forum. Real men call a women and speak to her in person. The fact that you are asking me about a guy who can't text sounds like you are interested in a boy who would rather play video games than talk to a pretty woman. The fact they even send text messages should be a red flag to begin with. This is categorically absurd, of course. There are REAL men that text appropriately. Good communicators know how to text appropriately and efficiently.
Author Mimsicles Posted December 5, 2013 Author Posted December 5, 2013 Thank you for all your points. What I can't understand is that I don't ask him to text me, he chooses too! So last night I bit the bullet and called him, it was quite late and he didn't answer. This morning he apologised and said he was sleeping. I replied then he replied and it's back to the same boring one worded responses. I give up and quite frankly can't be bothered. His number is now deleted!
Keenly Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 Women TXT message. Real men do not send a text message or communicate via that forum. Real men call a women and speak to her in person. The fact that you are asking me about a guy who can't text sounds like you are interested in a boy who would rather play video games than talk to a pretty woman. The fact they even send text messages should be a red flag to begin with. The '40s called.
Zahara Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 Thank you for all your points. What I can't understand is that I don't ask him to text me, he chooses too! So last night I bit the bullet and called him, it was quite late and he didn't answer. This morning he apologised and said he was sleeping. I replied then he replied and it's back to the same boring one worded responses. I give up and quite frankly can't be bothered. His number is now deleted! Good for you. I wouldn't depend on texting as my sole means of communication with a partner. Even worse, one word answers. If someone is interested in you, trust me that they will have much more to say to you than just a word. He's either lazy or a dunce when it comes to communication. Either way, move on.
ConstantVoyager Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 Texting has its place. It's great for handling the logistics of meeting up or to quickly convey important information, but it's a hard way to actually get to know someone.
emva07 Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 I guess it depends on the person, if he is an avid texter and is a lazy texter with me then yes, it's a problem. But if he is a lazy texter with everyone, then that's just who he is and I won't take it personal. The trick is, knowing what kind you are dealing with before throwing in the towel.
winny Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 Communication is at the top of my "must have in a partner" list. If he doesn't possess good communication skills, none of those other qualities matter to me, sonny. I hate talking on phone... I find it very tiring... I could never get it what couples talk for hours on phone... My job demands are to have lot of conference calls... So I am always on phone... I prefer to be in contact with friends n guys over texts or messaging apps. I find it easier... And typing takes more effort than talking... It's not like someone who texts is not a good communicator. Written communication was in place before telephone came into existence... Lovers exchanged letters... Also texting gives me a way to answer at leisure... Edit my replies... It also helps me to be touch with someone over a longer period of time throughout the day... Face to face is definitely best... But between phone calls and texting and emails I don't see much difference... Unless something very important needs to be communicated....
Vogeltron Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 The '40s called. You are right the 1940's did call. They asked where are the Real Men left in America? Searching...Searching..Searching..Searching... Few results available. If you want to go send a text message, eat a veggie burger and make love to your boyfriend then good for you. Maybe put on your spandex and act like you are a Tour De France rider or kick around the soccer ball. All you. Sorry but I don't play video games. I don't do Facebook. Actually going up and talking to women like a real men and being and old school gentlemen like you would do in the 1940's. Opening doors, taking off you hat and asking people how they are doing. Actually being polite, guess what it actually goes a long way most people. If you want to play with your xbox joy stick or whatever it is and try to hit on chicks on the internet. Best of luck buddy. Losers like you make my life so much easier. Because when I actually approach a girl especially not in a bar scene it is so rare for them. They eat it up. 1940's before my time but you should definitely go back and take some notes.
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