burnedcaine Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 (edited) Recently a friend encouraged me to go for one of her single friends. We hit it off really well and ended up sleeping together that same night. We spent a good deal of the next day together, and I did my best to be a gentleman - taking her to lunch, giving her a ride home, etc. Hook-ups happen now and then and there's obviously nothing to be ashamed about since we both had fun but I know many girls will feel bad if they sleep with a guy too fast and I wanted to show her that she was okay in my book. She showed many other signs of being very interested in me, even telling me outright that she really liked me multiple times. I'm really into her as well. She's acting a bit more distant now, though. She takes a long time to respond to texts. I saw her in person with our mutual friend one day and she paid very little attention to me, but as she left I took the chance to ask her out and she gave a very straightforward yes, even telling me that she was very available during the week, which is a good sign. I'm optimistic about this and want it to work since being with this girl felt awesome, so much more than others I've dated recently...but I'm just curious if this is normal behavior, and if I'm on the right track with responding to it. Could she and her friend have thought that she was showing way too much interest during our first encounter (especially since she slept with me), and is now being more aloof and hard to get to try to get me to pursue her? And would our mutual friend be in on this? I'm naturally aloof with girls myself which gives them this hard-to-read mysterious vibe with me, but I'll still take initiative and plug away. It's hard to believe that she's had a sudden change of heart since she's had many chances to cut things off and showed an unbelievable amount of interest that first day. Also, our mutual friend would probably warn me if she was playing me or uninterested. Sometimes I can't figure out girls, but maybe guys aren't meant to figure them out lol. Edited December 5, 2013 by burnedcaine
Grumpybutfun Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 burnedcaine: Nothing kills budding dating faster than second guessing and over-analyzing. There is no fire so stop trying to put one out. She may be withdrawing because she felt she slept with you too early and doesn't want to seem too eager. She may just be socially awkward. Who knows? What you do know is that she said yes to another date so concentrate on that and stop questioning her every nuance. Have fun and lighten up. Dating is supposed to be fun, you know. Grumps 2
d0nnivain Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 My best guess is that she is worried that you think she's easy. Pursue her gently & perhaps make sure your 2nd date ends before the bedroom so she has "evidence" that you care about her not just getting sex.
elbe Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 She probably feels like a slut. Do something to make her feel like a woman / respectful. Take her out to dinner and don't try to f her. 3
Author burnedcaine Posted December 8, 2013 Author Posted December 8, 2013 I did what you all said. I've stopped thinking so much and feel better. We went out last night and it was awesome, and I definitely did a good job of being a gentleman and showing her I'm interested in her and not just sex. We discussed a few more potential dates for the future, but what really made me feel good is when she told me that she had a much better weekend night with me than normal weekend nights going to bars. That struck me because that's exactly how I feel too. We share a lot of common feelings and have a lot of chemistry. She might still feel a little nervous over our first hookup, but hopefully I can go out with her more and within a few dates any worries will be out of her mind.
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