organizedchaos Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 Still can't quite figure this girl out, I've moved on but somewhat odd behavior given her actions. First date. We have dinner, then move to a bar for a drink. We both have a total of two drinks so we weren't drunk. AFter dinner We sit down and she leaves her hand brushed up against my leg. I grab her hand, and she squeezes back. So we're holding hands while talking. This continues with her sometimes holding my hand with both hands, brushing my arm. I do the same. It's going well, at one point we move in close and I kiss her, she reciprocates and it's a make out session. This continues with sometimes her initiating, and others me initiating. The date ends and I take her home. More making out in the car, we plan to see each other again. The next day there' s a few casual texts back and forth. The day after that I call because I can get some great tickets to an NBA game. I leave a voicemail. She doesn't return. The day after that she sends me a text that she was busy and wanted to let me know that while I'm a great guy, she just wasn't feeling a connection. I just said ok, take care. I wanted to say, "WTF? Your actions would say otherwise" But I didn't. So my question is, WTF? This was a month ago, and I don't care anymore, but just can't figure out why she would say that when her actions would say otherwise?
acrosstheuniverse Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 Maybe she was buzzed enough off two drinks (I probably would be) to chill enough to act in a manner she wouldn't normally stone cold sober. Maybe she had a great night but in the cold light of day realised she wasn't over an ex or wasn't in the right position for a relationship. Maybe she just wanted some fun on a date but didn't think you were going to be compatible as partners. Maybe she went on another date with someone else a day or two later and felt a greater spark with them. It really could be absolutely anything. Personally if I was THAT bothered (like you seem to be, to be wondering a month later) I'd send them a text and say something like 'I had a great time on our date and fully respect that you don't want to take it further, but I'm curious as to what made you decide against going out again?' it might put your curiosities to rest. Obviously you have to not mind that she's going to know it bothered you, so you might feel you have lost a bit of dignity... but at the same time you're not really losing anything, you're just trying to gain a little knowledge and feedback for your next date. People will say 'let it go, move on' but as long as you're not trying to get back with her, it can't hurt, right?
Author organizedchaos Posted December 5, 2013 Author Posted December 5, 2013 Thanks but nah, I'm just gonna leave it. Just looking for insight as to why someone might do this. You brought up some good points. 1
pyramid Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 When I have done this to guys, sometimes it's due to something they mentioned in conversation that I realized later wouldn't work for me (example: stories about recent bar fights, or a racist comment, or something that makes me think he's irresponsible/immature), or maybe there is no spark when kissing, but I convince myself at the time it's because I'm buzzed or it's cold or my foot hurts, but then I am just not comfortable moving forward. And two drinks is definitely enough for a girl to be more "friendly" than usual. 1
jeremy2125 Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 you're not alone, this happened to me three times in a span of a month. But I still can't find the pattern that is making that loss of interest!
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