Typical, ex girlfriend

[spiritofjosh]

*typical, ex girlfriend confusion*

 

Me and my ex girlfriend have been broken up for a little less than 2 weeks now. She broke up with me because she felt like no matter what I didn't trust her (this is due to past ex girlfriend issues I kept bringing up..like an "all girls are the same" situation).

 

To give her space I didn't speak to her for a week, no texts, facebook messages, nothing. It was manageable but I missed her like crazy, thinking she didn't really care too much. To cope with it I started posting stuff on facebook, like mushy sappy song lyrics that related to my ex. Specifically I posted "our" song to which she liked. A few more lyrics I posted she liked as well, all were obviously directed at her. Other irrelevant statuses I'd post she wouldn't like. The other day she posted a song that I knew was directed at me. It's a song she liked but she knew I liked it a lot more and it's not a song anybody really knows, so it was definitely aimed at me.

 

Still I didn't try to communicate with her directly. But last Monday night, two nights ago she randomly texted me at 1:30 in the morning, when she knows I'm usually sleeping by then because it was a work night. She said; "Hey, I dunno if R told you but I left your coat with him because you'd probably see him before me." I said I didn't talk to him but thanks. Again she texted me saying; "Welcome. I also have your basketball shorts I wore home if you want them." I said I didn't notice they were gone so it's no big deal.

 

Thing is, she knows I talk to our mutual friend frequently, he's one of my best friends. So to make sure I knew he had it was unnecessary, so I assumed it was her excuse to contact me, especially when I have a few of her movies that she didn't ask about getting. Afterwards I said "I miss you, you know" and she replied that she misses me back.

 

We talked about how I feel and what the hell was going on and she said she's still bitter about how things ended because I should have listened to her in the first place and trusted her because we would still be happy together now. I tried explaining I was wrong and there wasn't anything I could do to change it and I don't see how it's unforgivable. She said its forgivable but not forgettable and that she keeps having to stop herself from texting me and driving by my house was agony but she was really hurt by it.

 

She fell asleep mid conversation (it was via text unfortunately, but it was late) and the next morning she just said she fell asleep, didn't talk the rest of the day. This was yesterday and last night I just texted her that I wish she was there with me, and to stop being bitter and we talked a little more. She said she of course still has feelings but they're on a hiatus right now because she thinks our problem was we started dating very soon after meeting and didn't take enough time to get to know each other. That she wants us to be friends for now and see where it can go from there. I have a hard time being friends with ex's because I fear I'll end up friend-zoned and being hurt. I said this and she just repeated she isn't going to jump back into a relationship with me right away.

 

After she fell asleep again mid convo because it was almost 4 am. She never texted me this morning even though the conversation was open ended so I texted her saying good luck on her first day back at her old job and she still didn't reply. So like two hours later I asked what her problem was now that she has to ignore me and she apologized saying she was busy at work, forgot to text me back and is trying to figure out this new car situation. I don't plan on contacting her from here on out so she can have space again.

 

I want to be who I was when we met, who she fell for almost instantly. We had a great connection, possibly best I've ever had and we moved so fast because we fell for each other that fast. Everything was as perfect as I could see a relationship being. Unfortunately I felt like it was too good to be true and started comparing her to an ex I was with for 5 years and how she was always shady towards me. Needless to say she got fed up with this and ended it, saying she doesn't know how else to make me trust her. Since I knew it was my fault, I arranged for a order of all white flowers to be sent to her job tomorrow just to say good luck and to be nice. I gave her flowers a couple weeks ago and she was ecstatic saying nobody other than her mom has ever given her flowers before. I'm going to leave it at that and if she texts me saying thanks I don't know if I'll even respond.

 

Anyway, I feel like all her actions contradict another or am I missing the big picture? She claims she's still hurt/bitter, still has feelings for me and misses me yet acts so cold like I did something way worse than I did. I really don't expect her to jump into a relationship with me again right away, and she won't tell me she wouldn't ever again, so I guess it's best to leave her alone for now and let her just enjoy the flowers tomorrow without hearing from me. Thanks for reading the long rant, it's just best to discuss it without biased opinions my friends may have.

Edited December 5, 2013 by spiritofjosh
Not titled how intended

[cavalier99]

Ugh. Sorry bro but its over. Looks like it is time for NC. It will be tough but it eventually gets better. Cav