FML1980. Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 (edited) Not too long ago I found out my husband had been having an affair for over TWO YEARS (he's a big liar so it was probably longer). I cried,begged & pleaded like a fool. He stepped out on me, and I STILL wanted to be with him. He paid me no attention, basically told me to get over it, what's done is done. I recently decided to start working on ME, my self-esteem, happiness etc. I stopped calling,stopped texting, and only spoke to him when we needed to talk about our daughter. Earlier today he came back to visit our daughter, but this time It was different. I was looking AND feeling good, I could tell he noticed, his body language told It all.When he went to leave I told him goodbye,and I smiled..it was a GENUINE smile, the first one I've cracked since I found out about the affair. Guess who texted me as soon as they got in the car telling me that they will always love me, and was wondering could we work things out? HA..in his dreams! I made this post to let you all know that it WILL get better. It may feel like this is the end, but I promise you that it's not. I was suicidal when the $hit hit the fan, I didn't think I could live without him. Take time out to build yourself up and be happy again. Don't sit around and sulk, because I can guarantee you that the dumpee Isn't! I'm not 100% over him, not at all. I'm just beginning to realize that I deserve better, I don't want or need a half-stepping 'man' Gl everyone ! Edited December 4, 2013 by FML1980. 19
LostConfused123 Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 That's awesome!!! I'm so happy for you If you don't mind me asking, how long ago was this? 1
toolforgrowth Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 Awesome post! Good for you! You're absolutely right, there's no better revenge than to just be happy and live a good life. My ex wife also had an affair. I divorced her and never looked back. We've been apart for two years now. After her affair ended she was sniffing around but I had none of it. Just last Saturday she dropped our daughter off at my house, and a year after our divorce has been final she couldn't even look at me when she was talking. She has a new boyfriend and they live together, which makes me happy because that means she leaves me alone. But you can tell when they know you're happy without them. You can see the realization on their face, that you no longer love them and that you're perfectly happy without them in your life. YOU DON'T MISS THEM. I actively discouraged my ex wife after her affair ended. She kept saying our daughter wanted to spend time with her and I together (who told me NONE of this), and I flat out told her that were not a family anymore and that wouldn't be appropriate, and that we all need to accept that, even our daughter. She had no response to that. I hope your post serves to help others, so they know there WILL come a day when you no longer miss that person, and when you ivndeed realize that your life is actually better off without them. I'm very happy for you! 3
Blastbeat Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 Awesome! Good for you. I am feeling good myself. Got dumped a month ago and now Ive signed up to the gym, starting Monday. Also my band is playing gigs and I've got an awesome New Years planned. Life is good. Someone else is will come along 2
Author FML1980. Posted December 4, 2013 Author Posted December 4, 2013 I meant dumper not dumpee lol. And I found out about the affair about a month ago.
Meadowgreen Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 Not too long ago I found out my husband had been having an affair for over TWO YEARS (he's a big liar so it was probably longer). I cried,begged & pleaded like a fool. He stepped out on me, and I STILL wanted to be with him. He paid me no attention, basically told me to get over it, what's done is done. I recently decided to start working on ME, my self-esteem, happiness etc. I stopped calling,stopped texting, and only spoke to him when we needed to talk about our daughter. Earlier today he came back to visit our daughter, but this time It was different. I was looking AND feeling good, I could tell he noticed, his body language told It all.When he went to leave I told him goodbye,and I smiled..it was a GENUINE smile, the first one I've cracked since I found out about the affair. Guess who texted me as soon as they got in the car telling me that they will always love me, and was wondering could we work things out? HA..in his dreams! I made this post to let you all know that it WILL get better. It may feel like this is the end, but I promise you that it's not. I was suicidal when the $hit hit the fan, I didn't think I could live without him. Take time out to build yourself up and be happy again. Don't sit around and sulk, because I can guarantee you that the dumpee Isn't! I'm not 100% over him, not at all. I'm just beginning to realize that I deserve better, I don't want or need a half-stepping 'man' Gl everyone ! Oh my GOODNESS you are amazing!! Well done you, you should be so proud (and gleeful that Mr High and Mighty lowered himself to come grovelling by text, no less haha!) Good. Make him suffer, the pig. Live your life to the full darling and never look back! 4
iouaname Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 Good for you, girl! You can do so much better than that loser. 3
gutsandgrace Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 Been there! Ive been divorced for 10 years now but same thing for me, found out my ex had been stepping out on me. I cried, pleaded, begged, asked to go to counseling together (which he refused, of course.) Once the divorce was final I started moving on, dating, working on me, etc. Guess who tries to come back a year later after he found out his little homewrecking skank was stealing money from him??!! Ummmm yeah thanks but no thanks. There is light at the end of the tunnel and it DOES get better and you will get over the heartbreak. Rock on! 1
Simplysimon Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 That's amazing screw him and be happy Hun,,,,,top stuff 1
Grumpybutfun Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 FML: I am so happy for you. How did you get your groove back? I assume some people here who are dumped would be interested in the process since they are trying to get themselves back. What was your defining moment when you knew you had to look forward? Inquisitively, Grumps 2
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