Johnsmith1003 Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 Any tips on NOT being a crappy father by my wife? I'm gonna be one in two weeks. I know the diaper changing stuff, but anything no one tells you? I want to make her surprised that I'm able to accomplish everything that she is about to do so she doesn't ever feel I'm not holding half the bargain up. 2
Janesays Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 Get up with the baby in the middle of the night sometimes. Learn to match clothes. Learn to pack a diaper bag. Always support the head while holding the baby. There are a lot of manuals online for this stuff...how do you think us women learn them? Good for you for wanting to shine in this area. I hate that so many father's dont mind being seen as incompetent. 2
amaysngrace Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 Learn how to put the car seat correctly into the car. Don't wait for her to tell you how. Also tell her she looks great even if she looks like a blob. And don't get offended when a lot of the attention she use to give to you is given to your baby. I don't know if anybody really prepares for that but it is going to happen in a big way. If you can give the baby your attention too then you guys should be better than a lot of couples who never quite managed to tweak that adjustment. 2
Janesays Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 Also: if you end up better at some stuff than her, don't be a snob about it.:laugh: 1
Author Johnsmith1003 Posted December 4, 2013 Author Posted December 4, 2013 Also: if you end up better at some stuff than her, don't be a snob about it.:laugh: Noted. The attention thing will be a hard one for me to get over, since we haven't had any real, intimate sex since 4 months before her pregnancy, so about a year. I love those sessions so I wouldn't mind anything else if we get those frequently but if not even those, it's gonna suck in that aspect.
Janesays Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 Noted. The attention thing will be a hard one for me to get over, since we haven't had any real, intimate sex since 4 months before her pregnancy, so about a year. I love those sessions so I wouldn't mind anything else if we get those frequently but if not even those, it's gonna suck in that aspect. How is that possible? Is the baby not biologically yours?
Author Johnsmith1003 Posted December 4, 2013 Author Posted December 4, 2013 How is that possible? Is the baby not biologically yours? Errr, yes it's mine, but what I mean is if the attention isn't diverted to me like it was before and rather to the baby (allocation of time), I wouldn't really mind if at least I'm getting some intimate sex every now and then. The attention part is something that'll be hard to overcome, see?
amaysngrace Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 Errr, yes it's mine, but what I mean is if the attention isn't diverted to me like it was before and rather to the baby (allocation of time), I wouldn't really mind if at least I'm getting some intimate sex every now and then. The attention part is something that'll be hard to overcome, see? Figure it out and suck it up a little. No you won't have sex as much as before but many many families have more than one child so do what they did and adapt. But I'm not even talking about sex...I'm talking about the how-was-your-day-dear suddenly becoming all-about-baby. By both of you! 1
DaisyLeigh1967 Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 And for gosh sakes, don't act like your dick will fall off if you do housework.
Shepp Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 Congrats mate!! Boy or girl? I've got twin boys, just over a month old Im no expert, not by a long shot! But as a new dad myself my top tips would be... Smile - smile through the 1am why-wont-you-sleeps, the this-is-the-second-nappy-i've-changed-in-half-an-hours, and everything else. Stressed you makes a stressed girlfriend and that makes a stressed baby - and darn nobody wants a stressed baby! Help - if your not working the next day then give her a night off where you don't make her take turns but do it all. Or take the baby out with you for a couple of hours. (For the record this is how you up your sex life - well rested missus = good morning ) Do what works, not necessarily whats in the book reliability - keep your word. Stock up the cupboards now Answer the phone, cause its never gonna stop ringing and that's one thing you can take off the missus shoulders. If your wifes looking after your baby then take sometime to look after her: cook, rent her favourite movie and always tell her how beautiful she is! Good luck mate! Being a dads awesome!! :D
Author Johnsmith1003 Posted December 8, 2013 Author Posted December 8, 2013 Congrats mate!! Boy or girl? I've got twin boys, just over a month old Im no expert, not by a long shot! But as a new dad myself my top tips would be... Smile - smile through the 1am why-wont-you-sleeps, the this-is-the-second-nappy-i've-changed-in-half-an-hours, and everything else. Stressed you makes a stressed girlfriend and that makes a stressed baby - and darn nobody wants a stressed baby! Help - if your not working the next day then give her a night off where you don't make her take turns but do it all. Or take the baby out with you for a couple of hours. (For the record this is how you up your sex life - well rested missus = good morning ) Do what works, not necessarily whats in the book reliability - keep your word. Stock up the cupboards now Answer the phone, cause its never gonna stop ringing and that's one thing you can take off the missus shoulders. If your wifes looking after your baby then take sometime to look after her: cook, rent her favourite movie and always tell her how beautiful she is! Good luck mate! Being a dads awesome!! :D Glad to hear it! Exciting with twins woow! Yes i have a single boy. I will definitely be the one doing it all at times if it means good mornings
Elliotte Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 Congrats, hope the delivery goes smoothly as possible! This is one of those times when being an overachiever is a great way to go! Hopefully you get a lot of paternity leave from your job to be at home with mom and kiddo! Work your hardest to make those first weeks as relaxed as possible for them! Keep everything overstocked, diapers, wipes, pump and bottle supplies, have a ton of the baby swaddling blankets, onesies, clothes, and anything else clean and ready to switch out, babies make messes A LOT! Practice with that car seat, so when you're leaving the hospital with your bundle o joy you don't have to learn as you go!
Debanked Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 Congrats to you and your wife! Lots of good advice given here. "They grow up so fast!" All of your elders will tell you this. Listen to them -- they are correct. ENJOY IT!
Lauriebell82 Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 Learn to color coordinate outfits!!!! My husband can't dress our son for the life of him. When I was working he would get him ready/take him to daycare and I would be sooooooooo embarrassed when I picked him up at how his clothes were so mismatched! I think the best thing my husband does is that he really plays with our son. I am a stay at home mom so in the evening I really appreciate him just holding him or playing with him while I take a few minutes to just regroup. Does your wife work?
Author Johnsmith1003 Posted December 10, 2013 Author Posted December 10, 2013 Learn to color coordinate outfits!!!! My husband can't dress our son for the life of him. When I was working he would get him ready/take him to daycare and I would be sooooooooo embarrassed when I picked him up at how his clothes were so mismatched! I think the best thing my husband does is that he really plays with our son. I am a stay at home mom so in the evening I really appreciate him just holding him or playing with him while I take a few minutes to just regroup. Does your wife work? Yes, we both do. We also go to school, but luckily the next coming month is free for us, so that will ease the tension considerably. She may take some time off of work, but we really can't afford more than 3 weeks honestly. Got a baby room full of essentials, plus more.
Janesays Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 I think it's important to note that babies can't talk and express themselves, they can't use good manners, they can't show care or compassion...they can't really show ANY behavior or quality that they are loved and being parented effectively. So, the only way a Mother can get positive validation for the parenting job she is doing is by presenting a baby that is: 1. Clean and well groomed. This is where you want to help make sure the baby is wearing clean MATCHING clothes, hair brushed (if needed), nails trimmed, diaper clean and smelling sweet. 2. Dressed appropriately for the weather. 3. With parents who are well prepared. That means with a car seat, a diaper bag full of diapers, wipes, food, change of clothes, toys, etc, Clean blanket and spit up towels, and so on and so forth. I think directly after a baby is born, Mother (and maybe fathers too...who knows? I try not to speak for men) can be very insecure over whether or not they are doing a 'good job' taking care of this child. So being able to present a baby that at least VISUALLY looks clean, fed and well cared for will go a long way in easing her anxieties. 1
Author Johnsmith1003 Posted December 10, 2013 Author Posted December 10, 2013 I think it's important to note that babies can't talk and express themselves, they can't use good manners, they can't show care or compassion...they can't really show ANY behavior or quality that they are loved and being parented effectively. So, the only way a Mother can get positive validation for the parenting job she is doing is by presenting a baby that is: 1. Clean and well groomed. This is where you want to help make sure the baby is wearing clean MATCHING clothes, hair brushed (if needed), nails trimmed, diaper clean and smelling sweet. 2. Dressed appropriately for the weather. 3. With parents who are well prepared. That means with a car seat, a diaper bag full of diapers, wipes, food, change of clothes, toys, etc, Clean blanket and spit up towels, and so on and so forth. I think directly after a baby is born, Mother (and maybe fathers too...who knows? I try not to speak for men) can be very insecure over whether or not they are doing a 'good job' taking care of this child. So being able to present a baby that at least VISUALLY looks clean, fed and well cared for will go a long way in easing her anxieties. Wonderfully stated.
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