3 months bu and i feel im back to square one regrading feelings of my ex

[yorkie]

right where do I start I feel like crying yet things aren't all bad at all. im an emotional wreck because my ex has been messing with my head.

 

 

right 12 n half years I hate writing this part as I just think wtf. yes 12 n half years we were together have two great kids, she left said she didn't want to be with me anymore and changed her reasons all the time no refuses to talk about it. well for the first two months although I was moving on in some angles of my life I did cry and beg for her to me back. then I thought feck it. and went LC she left me and left the kids with me and signed over the house to me and its a great house, brand new and a dream house. we only been here for a nearly two years and things were going great well apart from me not seeing much of her due to her job, as she works nights. end of the day I thought she was seeing someone and she always still into our BU she wasn't! anyhow yes I got close to my best female friend and now we are an item but going steady and quiet as I don't want to hurt my kids so she is just a friend at the mo in there eyes they only met her twice and tbf when they did we were friends. anyhow my ex has broken boundaries constantly she has used me emotionally as she has been going through some really tough times. before I got into the relationship with my new gf which has only been a week I told my ex I loved her and that I would be there for her but she just says she doesn't want to be in a relationship with me anymore but uses me emotionally. I do know she loves me with how she acts and what she has said but she wont bring down her wall. anyhow I was moving on and I don't want my ex back I really don't but yes I do love her but couldn't trust her and I see the kids are hurting and I am doing everything possible for my kids im there for them thay live with me and she doesn't do much at all and when she does she tells them that don't believe what your dad says its all boll ocks, which I find totally disrespectful. anyway im in a new relationship and she tells me she got asked out on a date and I said cool are you going on it. her response was I said no but since you are in a relationship now why the hell not, I said cool good luck I was really calm. and tbh not that nthered at that point but I asked who and she said a guy from her work who works in it department. I said cool best of luck. she said she hasn't said yes yet but since I am she says why the hell not. this got me thinking I think she has been seeing this guy before hand and that's what hurts. I felt relief when she said she was seeing this guy but also I am hurt really hurt, as I knew she was going to start seeing someone from her work and I believe it was happening all along but she kept denying this. anyhow again she keeps playing games with my head all I wanted to do was talk to her about the kids, but it moved onto her dating and me dating. I assured her that I wouldn't be introducing my new gf to the kids as at the moment its still early I mean as my gf. I am protecting my kids. all my work mates and friends have said I have done everything right and I am a good person and a dam good dad. they would tell me otherwise, but everyone has said what a dam good job I am doing. but I keep getting pulled down by my ex. and you know what yes I do love her but I don't want her back and she left me so why cant she let me move on I have been through the pain.

 

 

I know deep down she has feelings for me and I accept she doesn't want to be with me but u know what she will see she made a massive mistake but she knows she has some sort of power over me. im in real pain right now and just want to curl up and cry I know a lot of people wont understand this as I don't understand this myself. I wanna cry but I cant I wanna get angry but I cant. my new gf has been great about all this and I tell her everything, but sadly I cant see her cos I have the kids here and im so down about it. there is a lot more things but my head is a mess so don't even fancy typing it all out

[yorkie]

anyone got any helpful tips?

[D-Lish]

anyone got any helpful tips?

 

For starters, you're not at all ready to be starting a new relationship.