confusedguy999 Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 Hi all, I hope I'm posting in the right forum. I'm an Asian male in mid to late 20's and the lady in question is an Indian female in her early 20's and we're both westernized. We've broken up because of the situation that she is in, i.e. her parents want her to marry an Indian guy. So we ended breaking up because of that and honestly we got along really well and didn't have any compatibility issues. Despite the break up, we've always remained close and spent time as friends. Only just recently I've decided to stop contacting her because I wanted to clear up our relationship and move on also in part due to our busy schedule. Being close to your ex isn't a good place to be in. Ex was angry and felt abandoned that I stopped contacting her. There was a lot of misunderstanding between us and we recently met up to clear up the bad blood. Currently, I'm seeing another person. I really like her and it is going really well, but I'm still in love with my ex and I can't get her out of my mind. There are two things that's stopping us: 1. Her cultural background (her parents refusal) 2. I don't want to be the kind of person that leaves a girl for another girl. But at the same time I don't wanna let go of someone that I truly want to be with. Do you have any suggestions? I'm really torn and I can't stop thinking about her even though I'm with another person whom I like very much. What's wrong with me?
BN1990 Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 How long were you with her? Do you think the parents will always be an issue, like you have to prepared that this problem might not go away? A few years ago i was torn between two, didnt think it through, left one for the other and wasn't happy so make sure you sit down and think it through.
Author confusedguy999 Posted December 4, 2013 Author Posted December 4, 2013 I was with her for about 2.5 years, this includes on again and off again kind of relationship. I haven't really discussed the parents part with her during our recent meet up. I have a feeling that it will be an issue in the future, however I'm confident that I can win their hearts if only they would give me an opportunity. @BN1990, could you explain your experience if you don't mind me asking?
BN1990 Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 "this includes on again and off again kind of relationship" Firstly, i think if a relationship was on and off in a short time scale like 2.5 years you might want to evaluate the situation, if it was on and off, why? Is it something you can resolve or look into in detail the reasons why it was on and off? Secondly, you really need to assess the issue with her parents, im assuming her parents mean a lot to her and maybe if she does get back with you, she might not fully think the situation through long term.. you need to mention it too her how importaint this issue is as it will affect you later on. Thirdly, I would be weary too that you in your late 20s and shes in her early 20s, is she mature enough, does she want to settle down, because realistically ( i could be completely wrong ) but any relationship you start/stay in might be the one... I was 19 at the time so it was many years ago, but i was in a relationship for 2.5years as well and it was a happy relationship (looking back we were just kids and could never work) but i was also friends with this other girl who i liked, but i would never cheat on anyone... turns out i felt that i didnt want the current relationship and maybe try this other girl, plus there were things wrong with the relationship i was in and i was also thinking, your only young and not to be in a relationship too long like i was.. but anyways, left the relationship and met the other girl... kissed her and straight away i felt i made a big mistake, contacted the ex and said the situation, she wasnt happy at all and would never get back with me... i then blew up and was a mess... didnt contact the other girl i kissed and went off the radar... when looking back i didnt realise what i had until it was gone ( turned out now it worked for the best, met a amazing girl a few months later and was with her until recently, unfortunatley im greiving this one now) but what im trying to explain is, sometimes you dont know what you have until its gone.. very true and this has been following me around all my life any time i make a mistake... Look at the girl your with now and imagine not being with her.. dont lie to yourself either and think everything will be roses and rainbows with your ex... you might have a good girl at the moment and your willing to risk it for a girl that you had an on and off relationship.. and the interracial problems associated with it... i made this mistake recently of not appreciating what i have and taking people for granted, and now im missing my ex who was amazing to me and i was to her but took my eyes off the goal and was selfish..
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