donteven Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 I met this girl by accident on some website I was on. I'm 18 and I've never felt emotionally attached to anyone besides my family before so it really took me by surprise when I met this amazing girl that really became someone I desired right away. Every thought I had I wanted with her because we both seemed to share feelings right away. She's very pretty and a nice girl. It has been 4 months since i met this girl now. I'm not very smart to do this I know. She lives a couple states away. Lately though I've been expressing some of my darkest thoughts to her and she now hasn't contacted me for a week and a half. She said she was going on some kind of trip or something. Hope someone can help me out here. This beautiful amazing girl means a lot to me. She did this once before. No warning. Just straight and stopped contact and had a really weird attitude. I had no warning this time either. I'm trying to keep my cool but I just want to hear others thoughts on this as this isn't something I would like to share with close friends and family. It is too embarrassing.
justwhoiam Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 I'm 18 How old is she? She lives a couple states away. How long would it take you to fly there? Could you go there by train? I mean without any other information, it could be 1.5 hours by train (e.g. NJ-CT) or anything else. Lately though I've been expressing some of my darkest thoughts to her Right: what thoughts? She said she was going on some kind of trip or something. Hope someone can help me out here. 1) Are you 110% sure of her identity? Have you seen her on webcam live? Or is she just an online user? 2) If you two were friends, you'd have her phone number/cell phone, or some way to reach her when she is not online. I assume she's only someone exchanging messages with you on some board/website, or whom you can write emails to. No warning. Why should she warn you? If you talk to her every day, have you asked her to let you know if she's going to be missing for a while? had a really weird attitude. How? What was weird? I'm trying to keep my cool Good, but why shouldn't you be cool? It's not that you are her bf and if you don't hear from her for 3 days in a row, it means something happened... this isn't something I would like to share with close friends and family. It is too embarrassing. What is embarassing exactly? That you're having feelings for someone online you've never met? 2
Author donteven Posted December 4, 2013 Author Posted December 4, 2013 She is 18, she is about 18 hours away by car. My darkest thoughts because I'm actually a pretty depressed person. She has asked me to be her bf but I told her I couldn't see exactly how I could do just that but if it was possible I would. I have her number and I'm sure of her identity. Yes I expressed to her I would like if she told me what was going on. She would warn me I think. We talk everyday and I would tell her if I couldn't talk especially if it's been two weeks. I'm pretty sure she just doesn't want to talk to me anymore but I'd still like to hear others thoughts on this. Her attitude last time she disappeared like this was the whole I don't have to explain anything kind of attitude if that makes sense. It just is embarrassing to me, yes. Thanks for the reply. Sorry for the vague first post but I figured people who would want to know more would provide with good help.
justwhoiam Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 She has asked me to be her bf but I told her I couldn't see exactly how I could do just that but if it was possible I would. You let her down with your answer. But after all, depressed people don't have much drive for anything, and that usually ruins anything. I have her number and I'm sure of her identity. So why didn't you pick the phone and call her?? Without accusing, you just say hi and ask how she is. You have no right to demand anything. I'm pretty sure she just doesn't want to talk to me anymore ... Her attitude last time she disappeared like this was the whole I don't have to explain anything kind of attitude Well, the message seems clear to me: since she wanted you as a boyfriend, she's not interested in keeping you as a friend. She's just trying to get over you. It just is embarrassing to me, yes. It's so embarassing that you couldn't tell us why. I figured people who would want to know more would provide with good help. People who want to know more to help you will ask for missing information.
Author donteven Posted December 5, 2013 Author Posted December 5, 2013 I already did all of this before the last time she disappeared on me. I told her she needs to tell me if I'm doing something wrong and if it annoys her. I had a lot of drive for this. You're right, but I just feel like I was getting put to the side, I did a lot to show her I was there for her too. She knows I'm interested in being something more than a friend. Do you think I should apologize or just say hello? I feel like it isn't really my fault and I'm doing my best to see everything from everyone's perspective. It's not embarrassing to post it up here, I just don't know exactly how to explain it, which is why I'm glad you're asking me questions. She continued to talk to me after she asked to have me as a bf I didn't think you could be a bf over such distance but maybe I'm wrong? Also the way we talked to each other we were pretty much already at the point of being together without actually being together.
Author donteven Posted December 5, 2013 Author Posted December 5, 2013 Thanks to everyone who tried to help. I talked to her and it turns out she isn't angry rather she thought I was angry with her. Thanks to justwhoiam specifically. 2
justwhoiam Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 One last suggestion: Don't leave things hanging. If you really care about her, plan a visit ASAP, by April 2014 at the latest. Ask her if she's OK with you visiting her and set a date. When you meet her, you will then decide if you want her to be your gf and you will ask her then. Having a girlfriend LD can be tough, because she wouldn't be around all the time in person. But also be prepared: upon meeting her, you might find out you are not attracted to her. I guess you'd still have a nice trip somewhere though.
Author donteven Posted December 5, 2013 Author Posted December 5, 2013 I will visit her as soon as possible. I do care about her, otherwise I wouldn't have contacted her again. Thanks so much. My negativity comes and goes but I'll do my best to keep it away from her so she doesn't feel like I'm mad at her anymore. I won't leave anything hanging anymore, it just makes it worse I believe. I am aware that it might feel different upon meeting her but I will try to keep my thoughts positive. thanks for taking the time to help out. You actually really did help me out a lot and helped me see things from her perspective. 1
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