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Unsure how to proceed after second date


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Posted

I'd been speaking to a girl for a while on an online dating site, we fell out of touch and she ended up moving about 3 hours away. Anyway one day, months later, she starts messaging me... and I happen to be slightly drunk. She suggests that she comes visit and it seems a good idea and I tell her to go ahead and book it. The date is fine and a few weeks later I visit her. Again the date is fine and I like her, but we drink a lot and end up sleeping together. I hadn't really wanted to do this as I was unsure about the distance and long term prospects at this stage.

 

Everyday since (about 3 weeks ago) she has messaged me about trying to book a date to see each other again or asking me to call her or speak to her online, which I have done a few times. But I'm a guy who needs a lot of space and I like to enter into things slowly and I've started to dread conversations with her because as lovely as she is in person, it all feels a bit too full on and I just know she will be trying to pin me down to a date or asking me to call her. Add to that that my long term plans make it strongly unlikely that any relationship would last (and she is aware of this).

 

Before I had been debating meeting up with her again but writing this out has made it clear to me that I shouldn't, but how is the best way to let her down? She is a nice girl and I don't want to hurt her

Posted

Do the opposite of everything you would normally do. It worked before and it'll work again.

 

^^

 

But really, just be honest and let her know you like to move slowly. Either she understands and moves at your pace or she disagrees and it's just an incompatibility.

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Posted

Just say that you don't think you're compatible.

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