lolly87 Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 Hello, my name is Lauren and ive come here to seek some guidance/support. I had been with my ex for nearly 3 and a half years up until he recently left me. I was 22 when I met him and the moment I saw him, I fell in love. He gave us his curriculum at my then job, and when he left I said to my boss, I will marry him one day! I had never felt like that before about a man, it was instant, I knew in my heart he was my soul mate. We ended up together, after a year or more I moved in with him as he pleaded with me and I very much wanted to, and a few months later I became pregnant with our son who is now 16 months old. He treated me like a princess, I felt safe and special to him. While I was pregnant I was on his phone on the web and something from history popped up, he had been looking for women in our area. I was so upset, I was carrying his child! I decided to forgive and forget, we soon after moved elsewhere and he was great, I was happy and he seemed happy too. He proposed to me infront of his family, it was beautiful. After our son was born, a week later it was our 2 year anniversary together as a couple, he was acting shady texting and getting calls from a female from his works asking to go to the fair with her and her friends that he also knew from work. He ditched me on our anniversary, with our week old son and I was some what bedbound after having a cesarean. I was so upset but I put it down to him becoming a new dad. He started to hide his phone from me, it was always on silent, always under his pillow. He had been signing up to sex contacts sites to meet women, he had even told another female collegue that he loved her yet he barely knew her! Again, I let it go and this year in feb we decided to move back to where we lived before. Up until a month ago he was great, but then was doing his secret stuff again, phone on silent and deleting messages, I found out it was my hairdresser's daughter texting him, "are you out tonight, what time" etc..I confronted her and she said she had no interest in him, but then a few nights later telling him she wanted to cuddle him on her sofa and that if he wanted it, he would do something about it. Then he just left, he doesnt talk to me unless it is about getting his stuff back, or about seeing our son. Its killing me inside, I love him so much, im trying to move on but I cant..I deleted him from fb so I dont see pics of him and her like I did see, I dont understand how he can do this to me, I was so good to him! He said he loves me and always will but right now he needs space..yet he is seeing her? Please help..is he thinking the grass is greener elsewhere? I miss him, he is my best friend and I feel like my heart hss been ripped out and stood on, im grieving as if he has died this cant be normal
devilish innocent Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 Was this man EVER truly worth being with in the first place? Because he kept going behind your back trying to get his kicks from other women knowing that it would devastate you if you found out. It takes about the lowest of low lifes to do that to somebody they claim to love. I'm not sure why you're so surprised that he'd just leave you for no good reason when he's already shown you multiple times before what a horrible person he can be. You had your blinders on with him from day one. You were young and naive and wanted to believe in "true love," so you closed yourself off from seeing the type of person he really is. It happens to almost everyone at some point so don't be too hard on yourself. Just live and learn. I know this seems terrible right now. But it really is for the best. He never had enough morals to be a faithful partner, and he didn't learn his lesson the first time he got caught. He would have kept cheating and hurting you over and over again. And don't even be surprised if he comes crawling you right back to you when this other relationship doesn't work out for him. He probably has you pegged as a sucker. You were naive about love when you first met him. Then you were naive about taking him back the first time you found out he was creating an account and cheating. You were naive about taking him back the second time he cheated. So I'll bet he believes he can run off with some other lady he doesn't know, and if things don't work out, you'll still be naive and continue to take him back. If you do, though, I can guarantee he'll keep taking advantage of it, and you'll keep suffering as long as you allow it. Again, don't beat yourself up for being naive in the past. But PLEASE wake up and realize what is happening here. He's NOT the incredible guy you want to believe he is. If he was, he wouldn't have done all these things to you. And yes, it's normal to hurt that much when somebody you loved leaves you. Especially when they leave you in such a terrible way. It will take a while to get past the grief. The good news is that you will. You'll move in with your life and have an opportunity at finding the sort of person you deserve. Treasure the beautiful son this man gave you. But know that your son and the wisdom you've gained are the only things in this relationship worth holding on to. 1
Sugarkane Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 (edited) Wow what an Ahole! Cheats on you while you're pregnant and then cheats more when you're bedridden, with an infant! Please don't get back with this jerk, he clearly only thinks of himself and his penis. Talk about sleazy! I'd run a mile if I was one of these women he was cheating with. Edited December 4, 2013 by Sugarkane 1
RDawg Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 Lauren. I am so, so sorry to hear your story. You must get this man out of your life. Do you have family you can talk to? 1
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