Stop contacting me unless you want to get back together?

[JohnnyLoverBoy]

"Stop contacting me unless you want to get back together."

 

Did anyone say something like this? what did the ex say?? what's the outcome?? Someone from other forums told me to do this.. he said you might even get higher chance if you do this. Only applicable if the ex contacts again after you ignore them.. Not sure though. please share some thoughts

Edited December 4, 2013 by JohnnyLoverBoy

[elbe]

Is your intention to get back with your ex?.. and are you sure that's what you want?

 

Usually when it's over, it's over. You can say whatever you want, but hey you could also bash your head against the wall it doesn't change the situation.

 

It's also a lot of pressure and a good way to push her away forever.

[Never Again]

Um.

 

I mean, if your ex keeps contacting you I guess it's a way to get them to put up or shut up.

 

However, it's an ultimatum, and those rarely work.

 

I saw the post in the other thread, and it's from some jerkoff that watches one of those "dating gurus" that spouts 1920s cliches of what a "man" is supposed to be.

 

Be distant, don't be too available, be emotionally distant, lead the relationship, always have a plan and romance the girl, always woo her or her "interest level" will go down.

 

Guys like him prey on the insecure and wounded.

 

Doc Love, Coach Corey Wayne, David Deangelo...they all work together, promote each other's work and spout the same crap, and it's all about creating a sense of loss and manipulating someone to be attracted to you.

 

If your ex keeps jerking you around and you've had enough, then yes...it's a good thing to say because it means they'll leave you alone unless they decide to be serious about reconciliation.

 

However, be prepared that they'll be MORE likely to just leave you alone.

[Phoe]

I did this with my ex emotional affair partner.

 

He wanted me in his life, was so upset at me blocking him, but understood the fact that there was no way for us to be friends...

 

 

He respects my wishes and knows that he is NEVER to contact me again unless he is single, moved out of her place, and serious about dating me. He also knows there's a very good chance that by the time he actually has done all of that, that it will be long gone.

 

 

With every passing day my resentment grows, and I find myself thinking that I have lost trust in him so much that I could never be with him now.

 

 

I think he knows that he's lost me. But if I know him at all, he WILL contact me when he's single. But that will be a long way out and I will have grown indifferent to him by then.

[Never Again]

Personally, I think you guys are playing games with one another, which isn't going to get you what you want. Piss or get off the pot. Ask her does she want to try again. If not, you have your answer and you can move on.

 

I wouldn't even do that, because I know exactly what will happen:

 

We'll see another post saying "I did X and it didn't work!"

 

OP, if you feel that "bein' a man" is somehow going to help you...your silence will show more restraint than some temper tantrum ultimatum.

 

Civility, maturity and understanding are more attractive than whining and wimping out, and that's exactly what tossing down the gauntlet is.

 

If you want to man up, do exactly what aspiringuitarheroine says - either cut off communication or deal with the breadcrumbs.

 

If you NEED to say something to set boundaries (and you shouldn't), the MATURE way to say it would be something along the lines of "Hey, I need some space to get over you. I still don't think of you as just a friend, and you need to respect that."

 

Shutting your yapper works way better than saying something you'll regret down the road. You may not get the result you want, but at least you won't be second guessing yourself later.

[chris21422]

Interesting topic. I'm going through a same situation at the moment.

 

Already Ignored her twice but I think you can say this in a different way cause it looks like your needy and you still want her..

 

You can say something like

 

"Hey appreciate you contacting though being Friends and this little chats just doesn't work with me. There is just no point. if you want to work things out tell me.. Hope you can respect that. take care"

 

If they are gone for good who cares? right they are already gone anyway hehe.

 

I think if you do this your mind will finally will be at peace.. not sure though

Edited December 4, 2013 by chris21422

[RDawg]

Alternatively you can beg for forgiveness, promise to change or threaten suicide.

 

And transfer all your money into her bank account, send lots of flowers and cuddly toys. Also be sure to lurk outside her place of residence so she knows you're serious about her and getting back together.