Zoe Lilith Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 I have no idea how to get thru this. It has been a rollercoaster since he borke up with me. The break up has been a real mess, and my life after the BU isn't any better either. I wanted him back, then I moved on, then, he wanted to talk, but I didn't want to hear it....Now, I just have that horrible feeling and I feel guilty. I feel guilt for not listening to him and giving him a chance to "explain".. I realized that I am still deeply in love with him. This is the most horrible time I have to go thru. And I lived in Bosnia during the war. As many of you, I've met all kids of people and thought that nothing can surprise me or make me feel "down". Things were going great, for a while. I don't know how to cope at the moment. He is constantly on my mind and it's annoying me. I lost interest in painting and reading..I can't focus. New hobbies worked for awhile, but not anymore. This is such a difficult time, my heart hurts.
loversquarrel Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 That sucks to hear. The pain of that kind of loss is so difficult to overcome. You are experiencing the loss of someone you didn't just love, but were in love with. That kind of pain stays with you for a long time, for some a lifetime.
Author Zoe Lilith Posted December 4, 2013 Author Posted December 4, 2013 That sucks to hear. The pain of that kind of loss is so difficult to overcome. You are experiencing the loss of someone you didn't just love, but were in love with. That kind of pain stays with you for a long time, for some a lifetime. This is so scary, I don't know how to deal with this.
elbe Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 Is that your real picture? I find it hard to imagine there is a lack of guys looking to talk to you. Why not try talking back next time?
Author Zoe Lilith Posted December 4, 2013 Author Posted December 4, 2013 I just can't imagine having someone else by my side. It's been a while since he tried to talk to me, I don't think he will do that again. The funniest thing is, I will be willing to forget all the lies, just to have one more chance with him.
elbe Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 So he can have the chance to take you for granted and lie to you some more? The imaginary man of your dreams is not the person living in reality. The sooner you realize that the sooner you can find someone worth the effort and will not lie to you ever.
Author Zoe Lilith Posted December 4, 2013 Author Posted December 4, 2013 So he can have the chance to take you for granted and lie to you some more? The imaginary man of your dreams is not the person living in reality. The sooner you realize that the sooner you can find someone worth the effort and will not lie to you ever. Yes. I can't believe that I am saying that but - yes. I am that stupid. I just don't know how to get pass that point, the point of being this pathetic and miserable...I was alright for awhile, better than OK, but few days ago, I am back to sqare one...
Haydn Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 No not back to square one. E is right, you are a stunner so lets take it from there Zoe! Take care.
AlphaC Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 Yes. I can't believe that I am saying that but - yes. I am that stupid. I just don't know how to get pass that point, the point of being this pathetic and miserable...I was alright for awhile, better than OK, but few days ago, I am back to sqare one... Zoe, you better go to counseling, I read your story and your ex sounds like a loser, sorry but its the truth. He has no respect for you and you pinning for him is a reflection of your self worth, try counseling and change your phone number, email address, block him on everything, you don't need a man that will lie to you, treat you like garbage, you can either live a miserable life or go through withdrawal pains for about 2-3 months and find yourself again, I would definitely pick the latter, good luck.
Author Zoe Lilith Posted December 4, 2013 Author Posted December 4, 2013 Zoe, you better go to counseling, I read your story and your ex sounds like a loser, sorry but its the truth. He has no respect for you and you pinning for him is a reflection of your self worth, try counseling and change your phone number, email address, block him on everything, you don't need a man that will lie to you, treat you like garbage, you can either live a miserable life or go through withdrawal pains for about 2-3 months and find yourself again, I would definitely pick the latter, good luck. Thank you for your honest reply. I don't have low selfesteem, not yet anyway, but I wouldn't be surprised if that happend in the future. I won't be able to go thru this on my own, I can tell, so I will have to find a therapist and get counseling..
AlphaC Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 Thank you for your honest reply. I don't have low selfesteem, not yet anyway, but I wouldn't be surprised if that happend in the future. I won't be able to go thru this on my own, I can tell, so I will have to find a therapist and get counseling.. Yes, if you don't you will suffer in your future relationships. What your guy did was despicable to say the least, all that lying, manipulating, hurtful actions were unnecessary. Then he breaks up with you and then he won't leave you alone, that is nuts. My last relationship ended strangely, my ex told me she needed space and time, i didn't beg, i just let her be. I was really hurt, do you know what i did to get over her, I did hot yoga, exercised at the gym, traveled and joined some dating sites, now I am over her, she did me a favor, your ex did you one too, it will just take time for you to realize this. good luck
Author Zoe Lilith Posted December 4, 2013 Author Posted December 4, 2013 Yes, if you don't you will suffer in your future relationships. What your guy did was despicable to say the least, all that lying, manipulating, hurtful actions were unnecessary. Then he breaks up with you and then he won't leave you alone, that is nuts. My last relationship ended strangely, my ex told me she needed space and time, i didn't beg, i just let her be. I was really hurt, do you know what i did to get over her, I did hot yoga, exercised at the gym, traveled and joined some dating sites, now I am over her, she did me a favor, your ex did you one too, it will just take time for you to realize this. good luck Thank you AlphaC, of course I do not intend to spend the rest of my life thinking what could have been or what I could have done to change things in order to prevent that from happening..I was better than alright, just few weeks ago, and now it hit me like never before... It's really difficult to cope.
Author Zoe Lilith Posted December 4, 2013 Author Posted December 4, 2013 Thank you all for your kind responses and honest opinions. It does help a bit.
Transplant Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 I'm sorry to hear the depth of struggle has set in, yet again, but they will become less frequent. I remember responding to your post about dancing and how it allowed you an escape, something uniformly distant from any activity you and your beau did together. These things do help, but as you've recognized the occasional feel-good distraction(s) do have their limitations. It's sometimes hard to see the opportunities in all of this; some days, I'm sure, it feels like a magnificent release, while others it feels like a crippling frostbite. I'm set to move approximately 10,000 miles away, across the globe at month's end from where my ex is and I wouldn't have been able to do this with her and her son but I know there will be days where it'll feel empty without her and her little guy. I must confess I did watch the movie, The Vow (when I was dating this cat) and there's a line in there that says, 'You figured it out before (how to love someone deeply); you'll figure it out again.' This guy will not be the last guy that'll fall for you and you'll fall for...guaranteed. Stay strong, dearest Lilith
Author Zoe Lilith Posted December 4, 2013 Author Posted December 4, 2013 I'm sorry to hear the depth of struggle has set in, yet again, but they will become less frequent. I remember responding to your post about dancing and how it allowed you an escape, something uniformly distant from any activity you and your beau did together. These things do help, but as you've recognized the occasional feel-good distraction(s) do have their limitations. It's sometimes hard to see the opportunities in all of this; some days, I'm sure, it feels like a magnificent release, while others it feels like a crippling frostbite. I'm set to move approximately 10,000 miles away, across the globe at month's end from where my ex is and I wouldn't have been able to do this with her and her son but I know there will be days where it'll feel empty without her and her little guy. I must confess I did watch the movie, The Vow (when I was dating this cat) and there's a line in there that says, 'You figured it out before (how to love someone deeply); you'll figure it out again.' This guy will not be the last guy that'll fall for you and you'll fall for...guaranteed. Stay strong, dearest Lilith Thank you Transplant, I am really angry, like I was after he broke up with me..I loved my "ballroom dancing" classes, but I lost the motivation for everything that was working..I have no other way, but to seek a therapist who will help me overcome this. This pain I feel is just unbearable.
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