FloridaKeys Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 Part 1 I'm a little bit of a romantic, and that's been my downfall. I've been in love two or three times, perhaps one of those times lust rather than love. To my surprise, given how the rejection crushed me at the time and I thought my heart would stop beating (especially the first one - we probably would have gotten married, she got cold feet and said she could never speak to me again or see me because it caused her so much pain) I was able to keep going and have an extremely successful career. Though my job gives me a lot of status, I find that I'm still a little gun shy because of past experience, though keep trying. I've had a couple of experiences where beautiful, accomplished girls seem to be attracted to me, and after a few dates it ends when they reveal they have a boyfriend. The past few years, have had some personal and family tragedies for which I've managed to pull through fairly well. So when this latest girl came into my life, I thought it was a sign from God saying 'here you go, time for something good to happen to you'. (I'm exaggerating, but the thought did cross my mind She is the most beautiful girl I've seen in my life. I met her at work. A natural beauty, but not just physically. It was the elegance with which she moved, her smile, her confidence yet shyness and vulnerability she portrayed, and her sweetness. Almost an angelic quality. She was an iconic beauty, like Natalie Wood, Audrey Hepburn or Elizabeth Taylor, at least in my eyes. The first couple of times I chatted with her, didn't think that much of it other than a nice, pretty girl. However, she then began to blush whenever she saw me, act nervous and speak a little differently than around others. I noticed her looking at me on a few occasions, then when I would meet her glance she would quickly look away and once sort of bit her lip after looking away, looking embarrassed that I caught her.
Author FloridaKeys Posted December 3, 2013 Author Posted December 3, 2013 Part 2 A couple of coworkers told me that this girl has a thing for me, acting way differently when I was around, over the top noticeable. There was a catch - they told me she really didn't want a workplace romance (they were friends with her - she has never mentioned me specifically to them, however). So, as luck would have it, I was staying in the same city though changing job locales in a couple of months. I maintained friendly banter with her, though admittedly was shy with her and also didn't want to spook her by accidentally coming on too strong. The last week at my workplace I drummed up the courage to ask her out, assuming it would be fine as I would be moving jobs. Barely ate that day - couldn't, nervous like never before. I felt that I needed a positive thing to happen in my life, and I really fell hard for her, or at least the image of her I created. Took a gulp of water, a little lightheaded (I admit I was intimidated by her stunning beauty, thinking too much and wondering Really? She's interested in ME?) and went for it. So LoveShackers, what do you think happened?
Author FloridaKeys Posted December 3, 2013 Author Posted December 3, 2013 Part 3 By the way, before I asked her out, earlier in the day she made direct eye contact with me and gave me a huge smile - this was very unusual for her, and I thought it could be a signal but was careful not to read into things too much. Again, it was strange for her though, considering the way she'd been acting. .... You could tell she knew I was going to ask her out by the way she was acting when I went to chat with her, I guess by the vibe I was giving off when I went to do it. While I was chatting she actually closed her eyes for a few seconds, as if she was thinking 'please don't do this'. So I realized what was probably coming. I could have aborted mission, but thought nah, if there's a 1% chance she's going to say yes I have to try for this incredible girl. The conversation was obviously strained after this, but I politely yet confidently stated that I'd really like to take her out sometime. She explained that she thought I was a great guy, but that she had a boyfriend. I could not figure out the expression on her face. She looked both MORTIFIED and incredibly sorrowful, or a combination of the two. I ended the convo in a polite manner, tried to maintain my confidence and ended with pleasantries. Told her I had to take a shot, and said would see her later, etc...She looked stunned. She called in sick for the rest of the week (she knew I was leaving that week - there was an office party planned). I haven't seen her again and I've since changed job location. I'm a little shocked, and puzzled. I feel badly that I obviously made her feel awkward, but in my mind there was no other option because I thought she was simply amazing. I'm not sure what all the blushing and behavior was about, and my friends and coworkers didn't know of any boyfriend. I did find out that she has some family issues she's going through, but still feel like I got the brush off. In retrospect, I guess I could have been more aggressive earlier, but had to be careful of her wishes and not violate any informal workplace policy. Maybe she thought I wouldn't be interested and actually found someone else during that time, but again I couldn't push it. I guess I'll never really know on this one...
todreaminblue Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 definition of a night mare and a dream together.....a guy you really really like waits to ask you out only after you are in another relationship.....sounds like that happened here....deb
ITw Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 First thing, next time don't wait too long. If you are atrracted to someone, then start working towards asking her out instead of waiting forever. Second thing, DO NOT involve other coworkers. I've learned its best to keep them out of your personal life. 1
MrMeh Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 Iv'e done what you have done many times. I just hated it because I know it's more of an infatuation of what you expect her to be.
Author FloridaKeys Posted December 4, 2013 Author Posted December 4, 2013 First thing, next time don't wait too long. If you are atrracted to someone, then start working towards asking her out instead of waiting forever. Second thing, DO NOT involve other coworkers. I've learned its best to keep them out of your personal life. I hear you. My colleagues mentioned this to me, and that was that. I didn't involve them any further. They know her on a personal level (female friends/coworkers) and did mention that she didn't want a workplace romance though admittedly I was not the specific topic of conversation. That's why I waited. In retrospect, it's difficult to have done anything differently knowing what I knew, but should have taken the chance though it may have upset her.
Author FloridaKeys Posted December 4, 2013 Author Posted December 4, 2013 definition of a night mare and a dream together.....a guy you really really like waits to ask you out only after you are in another relationship.....sounds like that happened here....deb I guess there's that one in a gazillion chance that someday she might contact me, but I know it's not going to happen. I think there were perhaps some other personal issues at play, as she seemed really rocked after I asked her - haven't encountered that before, and am a bit puzzled why she seemed so 'hurt' by rejecting.
Author FloridaKeys Posted December 4, 2013 Author Posted December 4, 2013 Iv'e done what you have done many times. I just hated it because I know it's more of an infatuation of what you expect her to be. Did you have any success with them? I put women that I like on such a lofty pedestal, it's ridiculous. It really was too good to be true - butterflies every time I saw her...
Author FloridaKeys Posted December 4, 2013 Author Posted December 4, 2013 As badly as I feel, though, I feel glad that she knows I liked her.
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