eliot78 Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 1.i hurt my wife so much. When she gained 30lbs owing to spine surgery, i made several mistake. Strip club, those kind of magazines. I didn't know that it would break her self esteem that much. But now i can know it is big deal for women that she has to put on unwelcomed weight against their effort( she couldn't even walk fast for one year, 80 years old people could walk faster than she. Limited activity, diet change- she is from other country with healthier diet. And in southern state i didn't take her to supermarket much) 2.i just came back from afghan when we were in ky. I might have had mental problem. Sleep all day, acting weird.. It may affect all. And her prejudice against american southern states may make her avoid being activity. She told me that people in foreign world have prejudice against southern states quite much owing to movies. KKK, crazy fanatic christians, big white serial killers like that. 3.anyways we found she was pregnant but had to move to wa from ky by car.i had money problem and spend her credit card .i had thought it would be solved but finally her parents in her country solved that. I almost made her blow up 20,000 dollars. And found she had miscarriage. Just after 2 weeks, i was deployed again. 4.i came home. She sometimes asked me to clean my luggage from deployment cause she doesn't distract mine. Things were fine until she finally open my box to find some girlie magazines. She got upset ...really really. 5.after that she has jobs here, she has much more opportunity in wa with quite big her ethnicity community with same language. Cause i leave army soon and need one year to finish engineering school, we had better save money for that blink. She work from 4am~9am in smoke shop/coffee. 10:30am~2:30pm in teriyaki. And 8pm~midnight. I never save money. But she saved much money and was happy that we could relax more for future. I really thank her. 6.this stupid man made mistake again. I went to strip club for my friend's bachelor party. And he borrowed 200 dollars from me . Not for strip club. I was in strip club only for 5mins. But when my wife found it, she believed in wrong way. After that i found i missed her birthday. 7.she has changed since that. No more nagging. She seems to avoid any physical contact with me. 2 weeks ago, she confessed.. She made bigger mistake from spur of angst and rage. I cheated on me. And told me all the complaint she has kept for long.I was hurt. But decided to forget and start new. I have done wrong too! But a few days ago, she said she really like her one night stand man. And she has met him till now. He wants her to leave me to be with him. I found who he is. Asian man. Who can speak to my wife without any language barrier. Tall and fit. Handsome and looks successful. Has very nice car in rich town. Wife asks me how i feel when i am compared to "better"man. As men are visual so needs eye candy,women are material so needs men with more resource. I couldn't answer back. All is what i had insisted before. She will go to hawaii for 2months alone. Maybe with her new rich b/f. She says it is just for herself. To escape from me and dogs and all errand and all jobs for a while. But i am not sure. 8.ok i can forget all. Why all this happen now when i am really ready to be mr. Prude hubby? I just need her. I just want to start new. Is she just trying to hurt me back? Or she really try to leave me? Is there any hope for me? How can i make her know i am ready to change?
Mario79 Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 Based on what has happened, I would say there is still hope. A marriage is worth fighting for. Unless she tells you that she doesnt want anything to you stright up. Telling you she cheated sounds to me, like a wake up call. But you should ask yourself, do you feel you have changed? Cause if someone doesnt, it will be hell for both of you.
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