Hemi Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 (edited) Hello all! I'm new to these threads, and need some help. I'm a 25 y/o female, very out of tune with the whole dating scene.. I went on a date last Wednesday, since we hadn't set a time, I went ahead and texted him to ask what time would be ok, and he came back with a time, he was a little late but considering he has a daughter (in which I can understand is his first priority at that moment.) I looked past it. The date was going good he didn't rush off half way through, no staring at his phone (which all other dates with others they tend to look at their phone a lot-can a man also clarify why you do this?) but his was away. But, he did cut the date off saying that he has to get up with his daughter, she has school and so on.. I again gave him the doubt on that. He said we would continue to text and that we would make more time for after his work week (on one week of the next-also when he gets his daughter, he currently is working). After the date he texted me, saying the directions back home (30 mins from me, and what i had given) were much better then his gps and that he got home safely. Then he texted me again on sunday evening asking how my weekend went.. My question to you all.. Is this a good sign? It's tuesday, should I follow up with questions from his text on sunday, and what happened? Im so confused with this whole dating thing.. This and in general.. Thank you for any insight.. Edited December 3, 2013 by Hemi
Mascara Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 What did you send in reply to his Sunday text?
d0nnivain Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 You are over thinking it. If you haven't responded to his Sunday text yet, call him. Things seem OK so far. 1
elbe Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 Sounds good, but he may not be ready for any LTR. He has a family and responsibilities. Adult dating sucks, it is not like it was when we were kiddos. Kudos to him on the phone thing - it's not a game people are just addicted to their cell phones.
Mascara Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 Wait, what - you haven't responded to his Sunday text yet? Why on earth not? 1
Author Hemi Posted December 3, 2013 Author Posted December 3, 2013 You are over thinking it. If you haven't responded to his Sunday text yet, call him. Things seem OK so far. I had responded that night, it was part about me then we got off topic and talked about his client. He loves work. I just want to know if I should text him before he texts me this time.. And yes I am fully over thinking things, I have a issue with dating, adult dating does suck, but it just sucks in general for me.. And i'm sorry.. What does LTR mean? New to this.. Lol Thank you all so far..
d0nnivain Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 What does LTR mean? New to this.. Lol LTR means long term relationship. You can find board acronyms in the FAQ section. There is also a thread about them in the Water Cooler, I think. Sometimes I just Google them to learn the definitions.
Author Hemi Posted December 4, 2013 Author Posted December 4, 2013 LTR means long term relationship. You can find board acronyms in the FAQ section. There is also a thread about them in the Water Cooler, I think. Sometimes I just Google them to learn the definitions. Thank you.. But I would like to know if i should text him.. It would be a week since first date tomorrow..
d0nnivain Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 Yes, you should contact him. I'd call not text but that's me.
acrosstheuniverse Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 Text him. If he's into you then something as innocuous as you sending him a text isn't going to change that, but you not texting him might make him think you're not interested and cause him to back off/move on. Contrary to what some people think (that a guy should always be the initiator), I think it's healthier for it to be roughly equal in terms of who initiates texting.
carhill Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 Good sign? As good as me typing this reply. It's electrons on a smartphone. A good sign, to this old fart, would be him looking into his crystal ball of known work and known custody arrangements and making a defined date. My advice? If texting is your preferred communication method, post up a synopsis of your weekend/ inquiry about his and perhaps some innocent flirtation. Concurrently, entertain dating opportunities with other young men. There's absolutely no requirement for your social calendar to revolve around his work and childcare responsibilities. If things work out, they do. If not, not. Good luck.
Author Hemi Posted December 5, 2013 Author Posted December 5, 2013 Contacted him today.. Yet to hear back.. Just my luck.
Author Hemi Posted December 5, 2013 Author Posted December 5, 2013 And he texted back Did I tell you how annoying/confusing this is? Haha
acrosstheuniverse Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 I met a guy on POF yesterday who seemed pretty sweet, we had a few messages and he wanted to swap numbers to chat on the phone rather than text back and forth. I thought this was quite a cool sign, and gave him my number (I'm usually happy enough to give my number out after a few messages since the iOS 7 update lets you block numbers, but I never give anybody my facebook details for a long, long time). Anyway he sent a few texts during the day, asking me questions, then asked me what I was looking for, fair enough but a little forward before we've even spoken I thought... he asked when I could speak at around 11am and I said probably around 9-10pm tonight (I had a bad migraine yesterday, and then plans with housemates on the evening I managed to med up enough to do). He sent me a message asking me what I looked for in guys and I replied, he replied the same and then half an hour later texted '*silence* ^^' basically all day whenever I hadn't texted back within 20 minutes or so he'd text again, I was getting a really bad feeling and when I got the text pointing out that I hadn't replied within HALF AN HOUR I just snapped and texted him that it wasn't going to work out, sorry but if he's this clingy now I dread to think what dating him would be like... that I have a life, friends, and **** to do and I don't put all of my focus on texting a guy I don't even know. He basically replied saying he was sorry and he'd try change my mind but he can see my mind is made up and he said he's not one to 'rest on his laurels' and can be a little over-eager. I said I hoped he could find that line between being keen and like this because he's gonna scare every single potential date off. Not sure why this is relevant but it came to mind when you said he didn't reply, then an hour later that he did. Try not to worry so much, personally I tend to go by what an individual guy's pattern is because some men aren't into texting, but rather than stress over how fast he's texting you back, listen to your gut and what it's telling you about how into you he is. If he takes you out, calls you regularly, facebook chats you, makes an effort to make you happy but the one thing missing is texting then maybe you can overlook that as part of his personality. But if you're getting the sense that he isn't that bothered, then maybe he isn't... Try not to be so invested in each text basically. If he texts back, you'll read it and reply, if he doesn't who cares, you're busy seeing your friends, working, studying, doing your hobbies, whatever. Maybe you're placing too much emphasis on this one guy already when you barely know him.
Author Hemi Posted December 5, 2013 Author Posted December 5, 2013 Like I keep saying.. I just don't get the whole dating scene, it confuses me.. mind you, yes i have had relationships in the past.. From my school years. But this guy is the one who texted me after the date and then texted me asking how MY weekend went, and then I texted him yesterday and he texted me 9hours later and we had a small conversation? Sure, maybe he isn't as interested as he once was, but instead of leading me on why doesnt he just tell me? All this leads up to me asking why because again, its confusing, I do like him and I can over look his past as everyone has one.. Anymore in site into these actions?
acrosstheuniverse Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 Are his few texts necessarily leading you on? Either you ask him out or you wait and see if he asks you out. A couple of nice dates don't necessarily mean it's going somewhere, I had a couple of nice dates last week with a guy, nothing went wrong, we got on fine, but I said after the second 'if you want to meet next week I'm free Thurs/Fri' and he said 'ah shame, I'm working both those days' and never suggested an alternative, just carried on the conversation about something else. I'm taking that as him not being interested in pursuing it further, as if he was I'd know about it because he'd be asking me out. Doesn't mean that texting each other occasionally now is him leading me on, I'd like to think we both made a new friend out of it as we have lots in common and that's that. If he is giving you the gut feeling that he isn't very interested, based on his level of communication, he probably isn't. I'm not into game playing but I tend to think if someone is into you, you'll know about it. Sending a few texts isn't leading you on, nor is it necessarily sign of interest. It's just a few texts.
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