Chattycathy Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 I couldn't completely resist his charms. A group of us went to a pub after class last week and once we were alone, things got HOT. He stopped it because I am technically his student for a few weeks. That made me snap out of it and I literally thought of all of your posts telling me what a mistake it would be to act on impulse. So, reluctantly, I agreed. We have decided to part ways before things got out of hand. Bummed because I was into it, but glad we stopped before the point of no return. No feelings for me yet, just attraction. So, all good.
anne1707 Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 If you don't want this to happen again, what actions are you going to take to ensure that?
Author Chattycathy Posted December 3, 2013 Author Posted December 3, 2013 Semester is over. I will literally never see him.
Author Chattycathy Posted December 3, 2013 Author Posted December 3, 2013 Because I have no other classes with him. He was just a required class. Not in my major. Might possibly see him in the halls but no more direct contact. I will miss him. He was easy on the eyes as far as my professors go
Owl Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 I couldn't completely resist his charms. A group of us went to a pub after class last week and once we were alone, things got HOT. He stopped it because I am technically his student for a few weeks. That made me snap out of it and I literally thought of all of your posts telling me what a mistake it would be to act on impulse. So, reluctantly, I agreed. We have decided to part ways before things got out of hand. Bummed because I was into it, but glad we stopped before the point of no return. No feelings for me yet, just attraction. So, all good. Really? All good? Does your husband share your feelings on the matter?
MissBee Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 Really? All good? Does your husband share your feelings on the matter? She's divorced. Cathy: good for you for stopping it though and not getting caught up in a full blown A. 1
Owl Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 She's divorced. Cathy: good for you for stopping it though and not getting caught up in a full blown A. Thanks for the correction...so many stories, I get them confused sometimes. So I guess I'd like to rephrase my question... Really? All good? Does his wife share your feelings on the matter? 2
Author Chattycathy Posted December 4, 2013 Author Posted December 4, 2013 Thanks for the correction...so many stories, I get them confused sometimes. So I guess I'd like to rephrase my question... I don't know his wife. I'd say us stopping vs. continuing says something that he ultimately chose his life w her than a fling w me. Not that that excuses anything but just saying, it could have went further and didn't. I was given advice from people that "i" was going to end up heartbroken in the long run. My "all good" statement was referring to myself.
ComingInHot Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 I guess I'm thinking, you were ready to hop in the sack w/a MM whom you thought was "easy on the eyes", is showing you may have some different views on what is and is Not good boundaries. Why do you think it's cool to try to have sex with a Married person? 2
Owl Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 I don't know his wife. I'd say us stopping vs. continuing says something that he ultimately chose his life w her than a fling w me. Not that that excuses anything but just saying, it could have went further and didn't. I was given advice from people that "i" was going to end up heartbroken in the long run. My "all good" statement was referring to myself. I realized that the "all good" was referring to yourself. In fact, all of your actions, all of your thoughts, everything about what you've posted is entirely and completely about yourself. With zero thought/care/regard given to consequences to others. Which ultimately was my point. Perhaps you might broaden your focus a bit? "All good" for you in this case is likely to have horrendous consequences for others...people you haven't even met. 3
MissBee Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 I guess I'm thinking, you were ready to hop in the sack w/a MM whom you thought was "easy on the eyes", is showing you may have some different views on what is and is Not good boundaries. Why do you think it's cool to try to have sex with a Married person? I don't think she thinks it's "cool." She came here quite honest about the struggle and her own vulnerability and acknowledging it's not the right thing. I get that. I can understand that. They stopped the madness before it became an affair. Unless I misread, they didn't sleep together. I have an easier time supporting someone in such a position versus someone who is unabashed and is here to gloat. 4
Author Chattycathy Posted December 4, 2013 Author Posted December 4, 2013 I don't think she thinks it's "cool." She came here quite honest about the struggle and her own vulnerability and acknowledging it's not the right thing. I get that. I can understand that. They stopped the madness before it became an affair. Unless I misread, they didn't sleep together. I have an easier time supporting someone in such a position versus someone who is unabashed and is here to gloat. Thank you. They obviously didn't read my prior posts about me being torn. FTR, we did NOT sleep together.
d0nnivain Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 Chatty After I asked my Q here, I skimmed your other posts. You & this prof are both married. Maybe this was just a little taste. You pulled back before committing adultry. Keep the eye candy in your minds eye & move along before you wreck 2 marriages (Although I think they are both on shakey ground). As a former professor, I'm appauled that he went anywhere near you before final grades were posted.
sweet_pea Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 I don't believe she's married anymore. The interesting thing about this is the fact that she has experienced infidelity herself, with her ex-husband cheating on her, so she knows how it feels to be betrayed and knows the possible pain that they would inflict if they chose to go down that route. However, I'm glad he stopped it. Don't act on your attraction, keep it in your mind only. Focus on what you should be focusing on-- your schooling. 1
Author Chattycathy Posted December 5, 2013 Author Posted December 5, 2013 Chatty After I asked my Q here, I skimmed your other posts. You & this prof are both married. Maybe this was just a little taste. You pulled back before committing adultry. Keep the eye candy in your minds eye & move along before you wreck 2 marriages (Although I think they are both on shakey ground). As a former professor, I'm appauled that he went anywhere near you before final grades were posted. I am divorced. Yes, he is married. I said this in my previous posts. I'm didn't come on here to be judged and to be told what a horrible person I was. I knew it was horrible to even think about acting on these feelings. I couldn't talk about it w friends/fam for obvious reasons. So I came here seeking advice because these were true feelings I was dealing with. I had a brief moment of alcohol induced weakness but ultimately, we BOTH did the right thing. As for him going to a pub, I had other professors post on here that it is not unusual. I thought it was odd but after reading posts, I thought maybe I was just out of touch. I will never see him anymore so whatever I was/am feeling will likely pass with time. Thank you to everyone that showed compassion and concern and did not condemn me.
painfullyobvious Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 This actually makes sense to me now that I know about your divorce. You admit your attraction (feelings) for your professor who you knew was married. I have no problem with this but the bigger picture is how far you took it. Could you be acting out your anger of your divorce by acting on an attraction as the potential other women? I smell unresolved issues from your divorce or marriage. I've seen this many times. Be careful 2
Author Chattycathy Posted December 8, 2013 Author Posted December 8, 2013 This actually makes sense to me now that I know about your divorce. You admit your attraction (feelings) for your professor who you knew was married. I have no problem with this but the bigger picture is how far you took it. Could you be acting out your anger of your divorce by acting on an attraction as the potential other women? I smell unresolved issues from your divorce or marriage. I've seen this many times. Be careful Oh, absolutely. I still have SO much bitterness. I have tons of unresolved issues. It ruined my life and no one gave a damn. Maybe, I was trying not to give a damn but I DID GIVE A DAMN, that is why I came here. In the end, I wasn't perfect but it did not go places that it could not be rectified. It was inappropriate and stupid but it is over and I am trying to finish out the semester and not see him. I actually feel kind of stupid around him. I honestly can't wait to be done, so I don't have to see him.
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