Guys -have you ever fallen in love with an average/not super-pretty girl?

December 8, 2013

This, totally...

Yes, of course. Although I'm not even sure I would call them average because if I want you, I find you beautiful. Every girl I go after, to me, is beautiful. And maybe other guys/girls don't agree but who cares?

For me personally it all comes down to personality. Personality clouds my vision.

If they are marginally attractive but have a killer personality, I see them as hotties.

If they are objectively very attractive but their personality sucks, I see them as ugly.

Ugly and beautiful are two terms I base mainly in the personal and not so much the physical.

Beauty means nothing on the outside if you're ugly on the inside.

December 9, 2013

I truly believe that most men who really love their wives are convinced of their wives' beauty.

Also, OP, men will think you're beautiful and hot if you

1. Keep your weight down.

2. Practice good hygiene.

3. Wear modest clothing that complements your figure.

4. Keep it light with the make up and accessories.

5. Have hair color and style that looks natural.

6. Forget about what they think of you and get interested in them and what they have to say, or what they are doing. I'm not saying to act as if you're interested, but to be interested.

First off- thats an awfully long list. Do women require men put in that much effort? (other than the first 2?)

Keeping your weight down isnt enough...guys are wired to prefer certain body types over another. Also, you need to keep your weight down enough to be thin but not so much to lose all your womanly fat. Depending on the guy, some like ALOT of womanly fat along with a flat stomach...few women genetically are built that way.

Also, sagging, cellulite and flabbiness can be at certain parts in your body...your weight doesnt affect that too much because its genetic.

Most men also find a woman who wears no makeup to be unattractive for todays beauty standards (unless she is a natural amazon...very rare though) where they are bombarded by media images.

Hair coloring and natural do not belong in the same sentence. Older women gotta color their hair because we know men cannot stand gray hair...coloring your hair is not natural.

It is not super easy to find modest clothing that remains modest but also compliments your figure.

Finally, Ill repeat...do women have such a list of physical requirements for men? Nope, because men are more obsessed with beauty and are more driven by their eyes/d***

Most men dont act interested in their women long term either...

December 9, 2013

I would just want a woman who bathes, wears clean clothes and brushes her teeth. That is not too much to ask since I do all those things.

December 9, 2013

I disagree... Except among young males, a guy will not choose to have a serious relationship with a "hot" girl who shares no common interests, tries to change him over the "average" girl with the awesome personality who accepts him for who he is.

Well, most men cannot get that *insanely* droolworthy hot woman so of course you'll say that...but assure you if all men could, they drop their average looking but great personality gf for that woman in a heartbeat. Luckily, few men can get that kind of woman, so they'll settle for the average looking gals. Most average looking gals can get a guy so Im not saying they cant. The OP asked if a man falls *madly* in love with an average looking girl. Im saying they don't, but they do fall in love (just not madly)

Its biology. Men are wired to be obsessed with a woman's looks and their d**ks it is how the human race survived...Men evaluate how hot a woman is in 5 seconds, its the first thing they notice. Men value women primarily for how hot they are, then examine other personality traits after. Men are wired for variety- they fantasize about screwing other women all the time (studies find men fantasize about screwing 1 in 5 women they meet and in most LTR's of 1 year, men have fantasized about screwing their gf's sisters, friends, co workers, etc) even during sex men are more apt to do it, men have more problems not cheating due to opportunity, men become less attracted and more bored with their spouses, men go for younger looking women (because younger women are seen as more "hot") men complain about their spouse letting themselves go than vice versa. Its biology that men care primarily about a woman's bod and looks and age.

some men aren't self aware and claim they aren't like this, but actions speak louder than words.

December 9, 2013

I know that 'average' women get married/partnered every day and are loved by their partners and happy etc

...but I was wondering whether or not that crazy/all consuming madly in love feeling is reserved for the likes of beautiful women only?

Is it possible for a man to be madly head over heels in love with an average woman? Have you ever been truly in love with a woman that perhaps didn't meet the typical definition of pretty or beautiful?

Of course it is!

Falling in love isn't governed by looks. Some gorgeous women have experienced men falling in crazy lust with them but not in love. This is where looks doesn't really matter and it's an even playing field. A gorgeous women may have tons of men falling over themselves because they are physically attracted to her, but it doesn't guarantee that they will fall crazy in love with her. Likewise, an average girl may not have tons of men chasing her but can find one man who is just madly in love with her.

Even just recently people were in an uproar because the gorgeous actor Jesse Williams is married to an average woman. I think she is cute. But people I guess thought he would be married to a Victoria's Secret model or some such magazine/hollywood cliched type of beautiful woman, whereas he is madly in love with, married to and having a baby with a woman who is your everyday woman, who is even on the chunkier side and he seems very very pleased about it and her.

Being madly in love, believe me, is not at all about looks and in that way, the heart wants what it wants.

Edited December 9, 2013 by MissBee

December 9, 2013

I truly believe that most men who really love their wives are convinced of their wives' beauty.

Also, OP, men will think you're beautiful and hot if you

1. Keep your weight down.

2. Practice good hygiene.

3. Wear modest clothing that complements your figure.

4. Keep it light with the make up and accessories.

5. Have hair color and style that looks natural.

6. Forget about what they think of you and get interested in them and what they have to say, or what they are doing. I'm not saying to act as if you're interested, but to be interested.

You can't be serious.

"Men" will do no such thing, as there isn't one governing body of men who all like the same things.

Some men like bigger women so a woman who "keeps her weight down" (down where?) may not be attractive to a man who likes a chubbier woman.

Some men like lots of makeup and accessories and for every "do this and a man will like you" thing you just said there are men who could care less and will still like a woman whether she does this or not or will NOT like her even if she does all of these things.

December 9, 2013

Is it possible for a man to be madly head over heels in love with an average woman? Have you ever been truly in love with a woman that perhaps didn't meet the typical definition of pretty or beautiful?

That's the rub. If one is 'madly in love', the lady in question will inevitably meet the definition of 'pretty' or 'beautiful' or, depending on the guy, 'I have eyes for no other'.

In retrospect, being an average guy, my 'madly in loves' have generally, as is average, been average just like myself but they were always beautiful to me, even in the beginning. To me, that's the essence of the extra dimension required to pursue a relationship potential with them, not knowing them otherwise. It's the initial impetus.

That said, with men of the particular psychology, they will have sex with women they might not deem beautiful nor be madly in love with. Their desire for sexual release and validation controls.

December 9, 2013

Its biology. Men are wired to be obsessed with a woman's looks and their d**ks it is how the human race survived...Men evaluate how hot a woman is in 5 seconds, its the first thing they notice. Men value women primarily for how hot they are, then examine other personality traits after. Men are wired for variety- they fantasize about screwing other women all the time (studies find men fantasize about screwing 1 in 5 women they meet and in most LTR's of 1 year, men have fantasized about screwing their gf's sisters, friends, co workers, etc) even during sex men are more apt to do it, men have more problems not cheating due to opportunity, men become less attracted and more bored with their spouses, men go for younger looking women (because younger women are seen as more "hot") men complain about their spouse letting themselves go than vice versa. Its biology that men care primarily about a woman's bod and looks and age.

some men aren't self aware and claim they aren't like this, but actions speak louder than words.

What you are describe here could be valid only if there is ONE universal way of how to describe a hot woman. This doesn't happen. Every man has a different type of woman he likes. From magazines and TV etc we have learnt that the type of woman who is considered hot is the model type (not even models have one type but anyway). The men's mind learns this: if he sees a "modely" type of woman, he likes her. This is not real life though. I have read psychologists and even men have told me that men can admire and desire a woman in a magazine but they eventually gonna fall for a normal average curvy woman. This is the reason that the world still produces average looking (or ugly also) people. A man can fantasize with whatever he wants. What matters is who he goes home to at the end of the day.

December 9, 2013

I have a thing for nice hair so I've ended up really into girls who my friend's couldn't figure out what I was doing with and I've had some others they were jealous of. I thought they were all beautiful though like many others here have mentioned.

December 9, 2013

I'm not even a dude and I already know the answer is yes.

No way. The honest answer is no.

December 9, 2013

What you are describe here could be valid only if there is ONE universal way of how to describe a hot woman. This doesn't happen. Every man has a different type of woman he likes. From magazines and TV etc we have learnt that the type of woman who is considered hot is the model type (not even models have one type but anyway). The men's mind learns this: if he sees a "modely" type of woman, he likes her. This is not real life though. I have read psychologists and even men have told me that men can admire and desire a woman in a magazine but they eventually gonna fall for a normal average curvy woman. This is the reason that the world still produces average looking (or ugly also) people. A man can fantasize with whatever he wants. What matters is who he goes home to at the end of the day.

It is all relative to the person. I have said it before on here, I could not be with a model type woman. As hot as she is I would be stressed out, probably be bitched at for this and that. Plus I would probably sacrifice everything I was to please that kind of woman. I know who I am. For me as much I admire and like to look at smoking hot women. I prefer women that I find "cute". Might not be for everyone else but I don't give a crap because it is for me.

Essentially what I have learned. Is every guy wants to date a "9-10" but very few can deal with all the other things that come with that.

December 9, 2013

It is all relative to the person. I have said it before on here, I could not be with a model type woman. As hot as she is I would be stressed out, probably be bitched at for this and that. Plus I would probably sacrifice everything I was to please that kind of woman. I know who I am. For me as much I admire and like to look at smoking hot women. I prefer women that I find "cute". Might not be for everyone else but I don't give a crap because it is for me.

Essentially what I have learned. Is every guy wants to date a "9-10" but very few can deal with all the other things that come with that.

Not that I disagree, it's your point of view, but in the way you describe it is as if you compromise to an average woman cause you can't afford or deal with a hot woman and for this reason you like the average woman less. Is this the case or did I misunderstand it?

December 9, 2013

It is all relative to the person. I have said it before on here, I could not be with a model type woman. As hot as she is I would be stressed out, probably be bitched at for this and that. Plus I would probably sacrifice everything I was to please that kind of woman. I know who I am. For me as much I admire and like to look at smoking hot women. I prefer women that I find "cute". Might not be for everyone else but I don't give a crap because it is for me.

Essentially what I have learned. Is every guy wants to date a "9-10" but very few can deal with all the other things that come with that.

Your honesty is appreciated.

This is exactly what I mean when I say average looking women generally have it better as far as love. Dating a hot woman is often equated with dating someone who is moody, demanding, boring, high maintenance, etc.

December 9, 2013

You would be surprised how many really attractive women don't know they're really attractive Vogel. The worst headache I had to put up with from my first was convincing her the imaginary wrinkles on her face didn't really exist.

December 9, 2013

No way. The honest answer is no.

Honesty right there. If given the option I go for beauty. But I look for pluses like intelligence and similar likes, but you the first filter is looks.

But still though, I would have to understand your concept of average. As everyone says beauty is in the eye of beholder, so is shallowness. Some people just cant admit to their own either cause of fear or they dont know it yet.

December 9, 2013

Well, most men cannot get that *insanely* droolworthy hot woman so of course you'll say that...but assure you if all men could, they drop their average looking but great personality gf for that woman in a heartbeat. Luckily, few men can get that kind of woman, so they'll settle for the average looking gals. Most average looking gals can get a guy so Im not saying they cant. The OP asked if a man falls *madly* in love with an average looking girl. Im saying they don't, but they do fall in love (just not madly)

Its biology. Men are wired to be obsessed with a woman's looks and their d**ks it is how the human race survived...Men evaluate how hot a woman is in 5 seconds, its the first thing they notice. Men value women primarily for how hot they are, then examine other personality traits after. Men are wired for variety- they fantasize about screwing other women all the time (studies find men fantasize about screwing 1 in 5 women they meet and in most LTR's of 1 year, men have fantasized about screwing their gf's sisters, friends, co workers, etc) even during sex men are more apt to do it, men have more problems not cheating due to opportunity, men become less attracted and more bored with their spouses, men go for younger looking women (because younger women are seen as more "hot") men complain about their spouse letting themselves go than vice versa. Its biology that men care primarily about a woman's bod and looks and age.

some men aren't self aware and claim they aren't like this, but actions speak louder than words.

No.

10characters.

December 9, 2013

First off- thats an awfully long list. Do women require men put in that much effort? (other than the first 2?)
#3-#5 takes effort? #6 is the way I like to be with both women and men. Am really interested in others and people (both genders) respond to that. It's not an act or something you "do." It's a way you are.
Keeping your weight down isnt enough...guys are wired to prefer certain body types over another. Also, you need to keep your weight down enough to be thin but not so much to lose all your womanly fat. Depending on the guy, some like ALOT of womanly fat along with a flat stomach...few women genetically are built that way.Good point. For me, keeping my weight down works fine but realize others may be built differently. Didn't mean to take all the fat off, just be sensible about it.

Also, sagging, cellulite and flabbiness can be at certain parts in your body...your weight doesnt affect that too much because its genetic. Here again, right. Didn't think of that as I don't have that issue.

Most men also find a woman who wears no makeup to be unattractive for todays beauty standards (unless she is a natural amazon...very rare though) where they are bombarded by media images. Didn't mean no make up at all. Most men I've dated prefer less.

Hair coloring and natural do not belong in the same sentence. Older women gotta color their hair because we know men cannot stand gray hair...coloring your hair is not natural. Ha! Well, I do color my hair but it looks natural in appearance!

It is not super easy to find modest clothing that remains modest but also compliments your figure. Depends on your age. For very young women, probably not. For women my age it's no problem. Can you stick with classics? You can get them at Talbot's, Ann Taylor, JCrew, etc. Other places like that?

Finally, Ill repeat...do women have such a list of physical requirements for men? Nope, because men are more obsessed with beauty and are more driven by their eyes/d***Didn't think my list for physical requirements was long. Like my men to keep weight down, stick with the natural look, understated clothing, too!

Most men dont act interested in their women long term either...

Some do, though, I've met plenty of them. Think authenticity is a big part of keeping a relationship going.

December 9, 2013

It is all relative to the person. I have said it before on here, I could not be with a model type woman. As hot as she is I would be stressed out, probably be bitched at for this and that. Plus I would probably sacrifice everything I was to please that kind of woman. I know who I am. For me as much I admire and like to look at smoking hot women. I prefer women that I find "cute". Might not be for everyone else but I don't give a crap because it is for me.

Essentially what I have learned. Is every guy wants to date a "9-10" but very few can deal with all the other things that come with that.

This man sums it up perfectly. A smoking hot model woman, he'd give up the world for. A cute woman, not so much. So he settles for the cuter one. But if he could get the 1st girl without having to sacrifice much, he'd def go for the hot one over the cute one.

December 9, 2013

Honesty right there. If given the option I go for beauty. But I look for pluses like intelligence and similar likes, but you the first filter is looks.

But still though, I would have to understand your concept of average. As everyone says beauty is in the eye of beholder, so is shallowness. Some people just cant admit to their own either cause of fear or they dont know it yet.

Yes, this right here. Looks is the number 1 thing men go for. AFTER a guy is deemed hot enough where they dont have to settle physically, they examine personality traits.

Women arent this shallow at least almost all the ones I meet are. Ive met a few very shallow women but most will let personality make up for looks. Men cannot do that, their dick complains too much.

December 9, 2013

Yes, this right here. Looks is the number 1 thing men go for. AFTER a guy is deemed hot enough where they dont have to settle physically, they examine personality traits.

Women arent this shallow at least almost all the ones I meet are. Ive met a few very shallow women but most will let personality make up for looks. Men cannot do that, their dick complains too much.

Do you really think men and women are any different when it comes to this? Most people go for physical first.

December 9, 2013

Do you really think men and women are any different when it comes to this? Most people go for physical first.

Yes. Most women will give a guy a chance if they arent super into him physically if he has a nice personality. Most of the married couples I know felt this way about their husbands and are now in love with them. Men arent like this. They may give a woman a chance if she isnt too appealing in a physical sense, but he wont grow to love her. He may use her for sex and date her until a prettier woman comes along, but he wont let her personality MAKE UP for her looks. Woman do that all the time.

December 9, 2013

Yes. Most women will give a guy a chance if they arent super into him physically if he has a nice personality. Most of the married couples I know felt this way about their husbands and are now in love with them. Men arent like this. They may give a woman a chance if she isnt too appealing in a physical sense, but he wont grow to love her. He may use her for sex and date her until a prettier woman comes along, but he wont let her personality MAKE UP for her looks. Woman do that all the time.

Women who do that constantly make the guy's life miserable because they feel they settled then break his heart. At least shallow men are honest from the start and don't waste a woman's time.

December 9, 2013

Women who do that constantly make the guy's life miserable because they feel they settled then break his heart. At least shallow men are honest from the start and don't waste a woman's time.

Ehhh none of the couples Ive seen in this pattern do that...women dont feel they settled because they arent as obsessed with looks as men.

December 10, 2013

You can't be serious.

"Men" will do no such thing, as there isn't one governing body of men who all like the same things.

Some men like bigger women so a woman who "keeps her weight down" (down where?) may not be attractive to a man who likes a chubbier woman.

Some men like lots of makeup and accessories and for every "do this and a man will like you" thing you just said there are men who could care less and will still like a woman whether she does this or not or will NOT like her even if she does all of these things.

Yah, I'm serious, . These things seem to work with any of the men I've met and been interested in. And these are the things they tell me they like that anyone could do. Just figured it's what all men like. Maybe I'm just meeting men that are congenial and easily pleased, lol!

December 10, 2013

jan may, where did you find your avatar? What's the name of it?

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Guys -have you ever fallen in love with an average/not super-pretty girl?

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