Jump to content

Guys -have you ever fallen in love with an average/not super-pretty girl?

millymollymandy

By millymollymandy
in General Relationship Discussion

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

FitChick Established Member

FitChick

Posted
Posted (edited)

If you don't think you are attractive and that is the ONLY thing stopping you from finding love (talking to both men and women here), do everything you can and spend all the money you can afford to look as good as you can. Then you won't have that excuse any more. It just may work. If not, you will know there are other problems.

Edited by FitChick
Elliotte Established Member

Elliotte

Posted
Posted

Every woman I have ever fallen in love with, I have found above average and very pretty. But that is completely based on my personal scale of what average and pretty are, in which personality is definitely the biggest factor; she could have the body of a Victoria secret model but no sense of humor, and I would consider her average, and not someone I'd ever fall head over heels for.

  • Like 1
AnyaNova Established Member

AnyaNova

Posted
Posted
Yes in fact i only go for average looking women

why? Pretty girls have lots of guys chasing them and they love

playing the mixed signal ,hot cold, chase game guys run around in circles

chasing after these girls...

 

i had a friend yrs ago that dated a " the rules " " the game " books

with him all the typical bulllchit

make him chase

hot cold

tease

Withdraw redeemtion

make him jealous

 

she did all these things to him over and over for 3 yrs cheating on him

used him lied to him...

 

he cried alot how much he loved her and he only wanted her love in retur

he got really drunk one night and hung himself in his closet.

 

 

the saying goes " pretty girls make graves"

 

Ive gotten sucked in a little to the games the pretty girls ay

it isnt fun its actually annoying

 

ive learned to stay away from pretty women let someone else deal

with the drama and headaches of chasing dating and finacially pleasing

a pretty woman....

 

average girls imo are cooler to be around and less difficult

and imo THATS WHAT MAKES A WOMAN BEAUTIFUL is when you

enjoy being around her and feel secure with each othef

 

Don't judge pretty too quickly. I have lost a lot of weight now that I'm not poisoning myself with gluten anymore, and judging from the number of guys I consistently get visiting and messaging who are in their early 20's or younger, I tend to suspect that I qualify as pretty.

 

But here is the hung, and I suspect many other pretty women are in the same boat. I am extraordinarily shy. Occasionally, I have these days of uber confidence where i can smile and flirt and you wouldn't know.

 

But doubt also overtakes me a lot as well. And I think when it does, a lot of guys assume I'm being snooty when I'm actually scared to death (and right now there might be one guy in particular I fear thinks this, but that is beside the point).

 

I'm given to understand that being attractive and shy is one of the biggest problems, because since you're attractive people think that you obviously are just judging them and don't want to talk to them, when you might really be wishing they would talk to you :-).

 

But some of us quiet and shy pretty people actually are capable of having very deep and meaningful relationships and indeed desire one.

  • Like 1
Phoe Established Member

Phoe

Posted
Posted

I've never been loved, and never been in love, but I know none of it has anything to do with looks.

 

I came close to love with a man who by society's standards, would probably be about a 4 on the number scale. But I adored him. And sadly he adored himself, since he cheated.

  • Like 1
Under The Radar Established Member

Under The Radar

Posted
Posted
Don't judge pretty too quickly. I have lost a lot of weight now that I'm not poisoning myself with gluten anymore, and judging from the number of guys I consistently get visiting and messaging who are in their early 20's or younger, I tend to suspect that I qualify as pretty.

 

But here is the hung, and I suspect many other pretty women are in the same boat. I am extraordinarily shy. Occasionally, I have these days of uber confidence where i can smile and flirt and you wouldn't know.

 

But doubt also overtakes me a lot as well. And I think when it does, a lot of guys assume I'm being snooty when I'm actually scared to death (and right now there might be one guy in particular I fear thinks this, but that is beside the point).

 

I'm given to understand that being attractive and shy is one of the biggest problems, because since you're attractive people think that you obviously are just judging them and don't want to talk to them, when you might really be wishing they would talk to you :-).

 

But some of us quiet and shy pretty people actually are capable of having very deep and meaningful relationships and indeed desire one.

 

 

Wow ...... you sound just like my type (if I had a type) :p. Have we met somewhere before?

 

Anyway, all joking aside, the answer to the OP's question is yes. The important thing is that I found the woman to be attractive. In fact, the women I've come to love the most I didn't think were beautiful when we first met. Their appearance was average to me (not ugly), and I did not foresee myself becoming involved romantically with them.

 

What hooked me was their personality and character traits. I found myself becoming increasingly interested and attracted to them over time until they became stunning to me. In my eyes, each one of them, were the most beautiful woman in the world (during our relationship).

 

Looks fade as we get older and we're left with what people have on the inside. I would much rather spend my time with an individual who is beautiful inside ...... that beauty is likely to last forever.

  • Like 2
SincereOnlineGuy Established Member

SincereOnlineGuy

Posted
Posted
I know that 'average' women get married/partnered every day and are loved by their partners and happy etc

 

...but I was wondering whether or not that crazy/all consuming madly in love feeling is reserved for the likes of beautiful women only?

 

Is it possible for a man to be madly head over heels in love with an average woman? Have you ever been truly in love with a woman that perhaps didn't meet the typical definition of pretty or beautiful?

 

 

What a can of worms.

 

 

In concise response, let me say only this:

 

 

"When gazing at a woman, a guy's mind will always first be drawn to her most appealing traits (look around at your female peers with awesome boobs :lmao: and just watch...) yet when glancing at herself, a woman's mind will usually move first to her sense of her greatest flaw".

 

Women would be surprised at, say, how far that deeply instinctive draw in men, toward waist-to-hip ratio (on women) really goes...

  • Like 1
ltjg45 Established Member

ltjg45

Posted
Posted

I have liked a few women that I didn't think they was very attractive. In this case, they was attractive enough for me to sleep with but if I was going off of looks, I do feel I can do better. With that said, their personality helped to make up for it as it was difficult to find anyone with a decent personality these days.

 

But fell in love with one? For that to happen, I have to get in a relationship with one and I hasn't got that lucky yet.

Donnie Darko Member

Donnie Darko

Posted
Posted

No. I've liked average girls but never really loved them or dated any of them.

 

Average women and unattractive women are strictly platonic and designated for the friend zone. Nothing worse than having to reject people that you are not attracted to.

 

I only date girls and have relationships with girls that I find attractive.

 

Hooked up with a few average girls when drinking but those were always ONS and I never pursued anything further.

gabgab Established Member

gabgab

Posted
Posted

Ehh listen OP, you sound naiive. Taking advice from men is a bad idea because they wont tell you the truth. truth: if women understood the male nature, the human race wouldn't survive because women wouldnt want boyfriends.

 

I wouldn't listen to the men that respond. In my experience, men fall in love with average looking girls...but they don't fall *madly* in love with them. Guys are pretty much slaves to their instincts...there are studies that show a man's cognitive processing drops dramatically when in the presence of an insanely hot woman. There are also studies that show men cheat more due to wanting to keep their D wet with fresh vag that is presented than due to their partner lacking something.

 

Few guys can get and keep that insanely hot woman that makes them fall madly in love. So of course men will say they are satisfied with an average looking girl :)

 

I have also found every single man I have ever met who has a very pretty (but not supermodel) gf/wife with a stellar personality throw that by the wayside when an insanely hot woman makes it obvious they are interested. There is no such man on this planet that doesn't do that.

  • Like 1
FitChick Established Member

FitChick

Posted
Posted

Women would be surprised at, say, how far that deeply instinctive draw in men, toward waist-to-hip ratio (on women) really goes...

 

Next time I take photos for my profile, I'll wear a tape measure instead of a belt.

  • Like 2
crederer Established Member

crederer

Posted
Posted

Yes. I've been head over heels, as you say, for a completely average looking girl.

 

I've also been head over heals for a girl that was a total knock out. Still not over her. I tell myself that I'm only hung up on her cause she's so beautiful but I dunno if that's the truth or if I just tell myself that to try to move on. Most likely the latter.

  • Like 1
FrostBlaze Established Member

FrostBlaze

Posted
Posted

I've had 2 hotties and a average in my life.

The 2 hotties we're being hit on by everyone at school or social networks, anyhoo, i never loved them. I liked them and it was the desire to **** them(lust) but i never loved them.

 

The average one, well i loved her, deeply, her looks really weren't all that great(at first) but her personality did the trick. HOWEver i did adore her smile from the beginning.

I was so mad in love with her that her looks turned into everything i ever wanted, i literally would not look at other women or be "meh" about them. ^^( i couldn't get a hard-on unless it was her, srsly xD had to mention this).

I was hooked and completely loyal to her from then on :)).

  • Like 3
  • Author
millymollymandy Member

millymollymandy

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Why do you think one has to be super-pretty to be loved?

 

I don't think that at all. Re-read my OP - I stated that I know average people are loved. I was specifically asking whether any men here have fallen intensely soul-achingly in love with a not-exactly-beautiful woman.

  • Author
millymollymandy Member

millymollymandy

Posted
  • Author
Posted
...

We are ALL average. Both men and women. Categorizing people according to your version of beauty is at least racist and superficial.

Even if I were the prettiest woman in the world I would never want a guy who thinks like you. And btw, what the hell does love have to do with beauty? Do we control our hearts "oh wait my heart, don't fall in love, she has a big nose, wait for it".:rolleyes:

 

I didn't mean any offence or accusations by my OP. Maybe it came across the wrong way but I am not espousing any particular way of thinking at all, just asking a question about a specific and magnificent form of love...

...the kind that existed for the likes of Jay Gatsby & Daisy, Noah & Allie or Count Ladislaus & Katherine.

...but I suppose I was just hoping to be reassured that such love can also exist for the likes of me - an average woman. :)

Vogeltron Established Member

Vogeltron

Posted
Posted

I am a male I like seeing good looking women as much as the next one. Actually when I see a chick above a 7 i pretty much go into auto pilot trying to talk to them and ask them out etc. I am pretty shameless at this point in my life. I will say when it comes to relationships lots of men don't want to admit it but they settle on personality or other factors.

 

The one I regret was cute not hot. Not anything most men at first glance would get super excited about. But she got to me big time. I can't speak for everyone but for many men looks is an important factor early on. It is not an end game.

  • Like 1
MrCastle Established Member

MrCastle

Posted
Posted
Ehh listen OP, you sound naiive. Taking advice from men is a bad idea because they wont tell you the truth. truth: if women understood the male nature, the human race wouldn't survive because women wouldnt want boyfriends.

 

I wouldn't listen to the men that respond. In my experience, men fall in love with average looking girls...but they don't fall *madly* in love with them. Guys are pretty much slaves to their instincts...there are studies that show a man's cognitive processing drops dramatically when in the presence of an insanely hot woman. There are also studies that show men cheat more due to wanting to keep their D wet with fresh vag that is presented than due to their partner lacking something.

 

Few guys can get and keep that insanely hot woman that makes them fall madly in love. So of course men will say they are satisfied with an average looking girl :)

 

I have also found every single man I have ever met who has a very pretty (but not supermodel) gf/wife with a stellar personality throw that by the wayside when an insanely hot woman makes it obvious they are interested. There is no such man on this planet that doesn't do that.

 

The men you speak of are shallow -- which is a trait shared by both sexes. Stick around here long enough and you'll read stuff from women so disgustingly shallow you'll tell yourself they're trolling, just so you can fall asleep better at night.

BOREDouttaMymind Established Member

BOREDouttaMymind

Posted
Posted

friend,

 

beautiful woman are beautiful, but the love of my life is radiant. theres no such thing as an 'average woman'.

 

in the movies and magazines beauty is real, but to a point. its not real life. I have never dated a movie style beautiful woman, and never will.

 

I look at it like this... how many hot and beautiful 90 year old people are there?

 

none.

 

looks fade, and fade fast. but love..... now that lasts forever.

 

id rather be with an 'average woman' who loves me forever, than a beautiful woman who loves me just for my looks.

 

 

you are beautiful.

  • Like 3
Epsilonlyr New Member

Epsilonlyr

Posted
Posted

I am so crazy about a girl right now that most people would probably say is "less attractive" than me. And I hate to say it cuz it hurts me to be so superficial about it even if it's my perceived assumptions based on those around us might be thinking. In truth I've got tunnel vision when I'm with her. I see no one else. And let me say that I think she's crazy beautiful. But that's the interesting thing... looking back, I may have noticed her pretty quick but never saw her as a romantic interest until she opened her mouth. Smart is sexy. Even so, only after finding some common interests in our first conversation did I become hooked. Now I relish in not only her beauty but her flaws. That's when you're in love, I guess... too bad it ain't working out.

  • Like 1
farva2 Member

farva2

Posted
Posted

In my experience, The girls I fell for the hardest were ones i didn't even think were all that physically attractive in the first place. After getting to know them is when i start seeing them both as physically and emotionally beautiful.

  • Like 1
Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

Posted
Posted (edited)
I don't think that at all. Re-read my OP - I stated that I know average people are loved. I was specifically asking whether any men here have fallen intensely soul-achingly in love with a not-exactly-beautiful woman.

 

 

I am an average women, and I have a guy who is earth shatteringly in love with me. I do not love him back.

This man has had long term R's with very pretty girls. Yet with me, he literally fell head over heels in love. He is completely consumed by me.

We are not together, but he still thinks of me from the second he wakes up until the second he goes to sleep. I know this. He tells me every day.

This is not in my head - this guy knows what love is, he was crazy about his ex too... But not the way he is with me. He knows what it is to be totally consumed by a girl......

In fact, he wishes he was NOT like this about me - since I cannot be with him due to MY feelings. Or lack the of, towards him (even though I do did like him a whole lot, and I did love him but not in THAT way)

 

He is tortured every day and it is awful. We started as FWB and he fall crazy in love. I never should have agreed to keep seeing this man, knowing full well how he felt about me..........

 

To HIM, I am very hot.. even though to others I am probably very average.

 

I can guarantee he wouldn't have dropped me for a supermodel.

 

 

 

...My current boyfriend,, and NOT the guy I mentioned above ^^^^ I believe, would not leave me for a better looking girl, because he is the type of guy who is NOT governed by looks alone.

 

My b4 does not get all hot and flustered about "hot" girls, unless he talks to them first.

 

 

 

 

 

....... The thing is, I have had guys who thought I was BEAUTIFUL, even though I am not what society as a whole deems as " super hot" or even "hot"

Edited by Leigh 87
  • Like 1
Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

Posted
Posted
Many people see beauty differently. What someone deems an average looking female another man could consider stunningly gorgeous. That's the great thing about life, average looking is nothing more than a label. Being beautiful is so much more than looks. To me when a women has a tremendous sense of humor and a witty, sarcastic personality that's beautiful. No matter how many times it's said, it always rings true "beauty is in the eye of the beholder".

 

 

 

 

This is entirely true.

 

I am an average women, yet I am considered beautiful by a select few guys. I have not even had trouble finding them.

 

I am sure most average girls with a half decent personality and a nice figure like me, would experience the same as me; plenty of men who manage to find is attractive, in spite of our " average" looks:lmao::lmao:

  • Like 1
OpenBook Established Member

OpenBook

Posted
Posted

Love is crazy and it makes no sense. Nothing to do with looks. The only consistent thing I've seen is, it always seems to happen when the woman is just going about her business, pursuing her own goals & dreams, not paying attention to men (in a romantic sense anyway), and BAM - Cupid's arrow strikes some poor sap at random, and they're hooked. No rhyme or reason to it whatsoever.

 

 

The opposite is consistently true too - if the woman is navel-gazing at all her own insecurities, or is totally focused on finding a mate, it cuts a wide swath around them. Men smell it a mile away and steer clear.

  • Like 2
gabgab Established Member

gabgab

Posted
Posted (edited)
Her words are an offense to some of us men who do not fit that assessment. Not ALL men are like that. For her to characterize all men like this based on her very limited and unfortunate experience is unfair.

 

Well, most men cannot get that *insanely* droolworthy hot woman so of course you'll say that...but assure you if all men could, they drop their average looking but great personality gf for that woman in a heartbeat. Luckily, few men can get that kind of woman, so they'll settle for the average looking gals. Most average looking gals can get a guy so Im not saying they cant. The OP asked if a man falls *madly* in love with an average looking girl. Im saying they don't, but they do fall in love (just not madly)

 

Its biology. Men are wired to be obsessed with a woman's looks and their d**ks it is how the human race survived...Men evaluate how hot a woman is in 5 seconds, its the first thing they notice. Men value women primarily for how hot they are, then examine other personality traits after. Men are wired for variety- they fantasize about screwing other women all the time (studies find men fantasize about screwing 1 in 5 women they meet and in most LTR's of 1 year, men have fantasized about screwing their gf's sisters, friends, co workers, etc) even during sex men are more apt to do it, men have more problems not cheating due to opportunity, men become less attracted and more bored with their spouses, men go for younger looking women (because younger women are seen as more "hot") men complain about their spouse letting themselves go than vice versa. Its biology that men care primarily about a woman's bod and looks and age.

 

some men aren't self aware and claim they aren't like this, but actions speak louder than words.

Edited by gabgab
Speakingofwhich Established Member

Speakingofwhich

Posted
Posted

I truly believe that most men who really love their wives are convinced of their wives' beauty.

 

Also, OP, men will think you're beautiful and hot if you

 

1. Keep your weight down.

 

2. Practice good hygiene.

 

3. Wear modest clothing that complements your figure.

 

4. Keep it light with the make up and accessories.

 

5. Have hair color and style that looks natural.

 

6. Forget about what they think of you and get interested in them and what they have to say, or what they are doing. I'm not saying to act as if you're interested, but to be interested.

  • Like 1
Dallers Established Member

Dallers

Posted
Posted

I am actually this in a nutshell. Perfect looking girls are so plain and boring to me.

 

The only ones I seem to fancy are the girls that are different and to most totally the opposite of what they would go for according to my mates opinion. I even get mocked for it sometimes.

 

My problem is I am the normal good looking average Joe in good shape so they don't look at me twice. It's a funny old world we live in...Looks are deceiving!

  • Like 1
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...