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Guys -have you ever fallen in love with an average/not super-pretty girl?

millymollymandy

By millymollymandy
in General Relationship Discussion

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millymollymandy Member

millymollymandy

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I know that 'average' women get married/partnered every day and are loved by their partners and happy etc

 

...but I was wondering whether or not that crazy/all consuming madly in love feeling is reserved for the likes of beautiful women only?

 

Is it possible for a man to be madly head over heels in love with an average woman? Have you ever been truly in love with a woman that perhaps didn't meet the typical definition of pretty or beautiful?

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Phoe Established Member

Phoe

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I'm not even a dude and I already know the answer is yes. :)

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MrCastle Established Member

MrCastle

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Yes, of course. Although I'm not even sure I would call them average because if I want you, I find you beautiful. Every girl I go after, to me, is beautiful. And maybe other guys/girls don't agree but who cares?

 

For me personally it all comes down to personality. Personality clouds my vision.

 

If they are marginally attractive but have a killer personality, I see them as hotties.

 

If they are objectively very attractive but their personality sucks, I see them as ugly.

 

Ugly and beautiful are two terms I base mainly in the personal and not so much the physical.

 

Beauty means nothing on the outside if you're ugly on the inside.

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LookUp Member

LookUp

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Yeah, absolutely. There are certain personality quirks, behaviors that make the opposite sex cute.

 

In terms of beautiful, that's a broad term. Society has a different definition, so do you, so do I. In the end it doesn't matter what we all think. What matters is how happy you are.

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Grumpybutfun Established Member

Grumpybutfun

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After the initial decision on looks, if a person decides to date someone, and if that person becomes special to them, the average turns into the beautiful and love can be just as dynamic as with beautiful people.

In fact, with some super good looking people, what I have observed is that they are so narcissistic and self-obsessed that relationships usually stay pretty shallow and love has little to do with it. They are more ego, status and success driven. I had very little fun dating women like this.

Love makes passionate creatures of us all if we nurture it and respect it's importance to our lives.

I have observed ugly men with beautiful women and vice versa and they seem to have much passion in their relationship. I have only been in love with my wife, but I have liked women for various reasons which didn't stem from looks alone.

Best,

Grumps

 

Off topic a little: My wife is a gorgeous, but a more natural beauty, who would rather spend time doing anything else rather than hours on her looks. Low maintenance in a lovely woman is a gift I do not take for granted. :p She is fairly universally good looking, but I once had a good friend tell me he could never date someone so short (which I like.) :laugh: So, it really is in the eye of the beholder.

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charlietheginger Established Member

charlietheginger

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Yes in fact i only go for average looking women

why? Pretty girls have lots of guys chasing them and they love

playing the mixed signal ,hot cold, chase game guys run around in circles

chasing after these girls...

 

i had a friend yrs ago that dated a " the rules " " the game " books

with him all the typical bulllchit

make him chase

hot cold

tease

Withdraw redeemtion

make him jealous

 

she did all these things to him over and over for 3 yrs cheating on him

used him lied to him...

 

he cried alot how much he loved her and he only wanted her love in retur

he got really drunk one night and hung himself in his closet.

 

 

the saying goes " pretty girls make graves"

 

Ive gotten sucked in a little to the games the pretty girls ay

it isnt fun its actually annoying

 

ive learned to stay away from pretty women let someone else deal

with the drama and headaches of chasing dating and finacially pleasing

a pretty woman....

 

average girls imo are cooler to be around and less difficult

and imo THATS WHAT MAKES A WOMAN BEAUTIFUL is when you

enjoy being around her and feel secure with each othef

NoMoreJerks Established Member

NoMoreJerks

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I consider myself above-average in the looks department, and guys actually rarely approach me maybe because I intimidate them. Instead, it's the average and below-average looking girls from among my friends who get the dates and boyfriends and husbands. Being above average-looking isn't always a good thing -- it could also be a curse especially nowadays where guys don't even want to do the approaching.

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WhiteButton Member

WhiteButton

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Yes i have. I like the average girl that doesnt throw half a pound make up on her face...wears jeans and nike shoes but thats just me. :) Some girls i prefer with no make up - i have few freands of mine and keep telling them why do you wear make up all the work you got to put into it - you like find without it.

 

I have never been into those skiny models that are considered beautiful in fact i find them unattractive, i prefer every day normal girl that has a little bit chuby going on.

 

Looks is important but its not make it or break it at least for me. I have dated a 10 and while i liked her looks her personality and the fact that she was kinda dump ultimately made me break up with her.

 

So ladies dont focus to much on the physical aspect how you look, just be yourself and be funny and silly we like that.

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The Shepherd Established Member

The Shepherd

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he cried alot how much he loved her and he only wanted her love in retur

he got really drunk one night and hung himself in his closet.

 

That's very sad to know. I hope he found his peace.

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Salvatore85 Established Member

Salvatore85

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Many people see beauty differently. What someone deems an average looking female another man could consider stunningly gorgeous. That's the great thing about life, average looking is nothing more than a label. Being beautiful is so much more than looks. To me when a women has a tremendous sense of humor and a witty, sarcastic personality that's beautiful. No matter how many times it's said, it always rings true "beauty is in the eye of the beholder".

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millymollymandy Member

millymollymandy

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he cried alot how much he loved her and he only wanted her love in return

he got really drunk one night and hung himself in his closet.

 

I'm so sorry to hear that. It is awful when the pain of heartbreak is just too much to bear.

MalachiX Established Member

MalachiX

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It's all about the eyes. That's what I fall in love with.

 

If I can stare into a person's eyes then I'm good. Call me crazy but it always seems like someone's personality shines through their eyes. I don't know why exactly.

 

I've known women with nice eyes who made my heart race even if their other features we "average" or even "below average" (though I hate to use that term).

 

I've also known women who I might have seen a picture of and didn't find very attractive only to find them really captivating and sexy once I met them in person and got a sense of them.

 

That said, I hate to admit this; there are limits. This is going to sound really shallow, and it is, but there's one young women who I met who has amazing eyes (and an amazing face) but he's very overweight and who I've never asked out (even though she's quite cool). It's interesting because if she weighed half of what she does, she'd look absolutely amazing. Hell, if she was only slightly overweight I think she'd still look pretty great because she has such nice eyes. Unfortunately, there comes a point where sexual attraction disappears. I wish that wasn't the case.

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hotpotato Established Member

hotpotato

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Yes.

 

What you see as average or not pretty might be hot to a man. Men have different standards for women than women have for each other.

 

A woman who is not conventionally attractive still has a soft femininity about her.

 

Id say its better for women to be average unless she is trying to date pro athletes or hot shot actors.

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stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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I know that 'average' women get married/partnered every day and are loved by their partners and happy etc

 

...but I was wondering whether or not that crazy/all consuming madly in love feeling is reserved for the likes of beautiful women only?

 

Is it possible for a man to be madly head over heels in love with an average woman? Have you ever been truly in love with a woman that perhaps didn't meet the typical definition of pretty or beautiful?

 

 

This happens everyday. The "average" women you are referencing above have men who were crazy and all consuming madly in love with them because that's why their husbands proposed to them and married them. Why would you think differently? It's basically common sense.

hotpotato Established Member

hotpotato

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I consider myself above-average in the looks department, and guys actually rarely approach me maybe because I intimidate them. Instead, it's the average and below-average looking girls from among my friends who get the dates and boyfriends and husbands. Being above average-looking isn't always a good thing -- it could also be a curse especially nowadays where guys don't even want to do the approaching.

 

I agree.

 

Guys mostlg come to me for sex. Then they turn around and marry and average looking girl. Most men who approach me in person are very sexually aggressive or flat out bizarre. Just look up my posts...

 

Ive had guys tell me that I was intimidating.

StanMusial Established Member

StanMusial

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I have dated plenty of girls who were eye candy but typically those girls have character flaws that they never addressed. Lust and love are two different things, life experience helps you seperate them. Personally I was always more likely to fall for the average girl with the beautiful insides than the beautiful girl with the ugly insides.

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Mrlonelyone Established Member

Mrlonelyone

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I'm kinda strange. As I myself am a more feminine person I am attracted to more masculine people. I just don't really care what their bodies are like. I've been attracted to plenty of men. ... and plenty of women who were on the tomboyish/butch/even transmasculine side of things. Think Rachel Maddow or Sinéad O'Connor or Julie Andrews, or Chaz Bono.

 

 

Yes, I have been attracted to biological females who did not fit the "pretty" mold. Just as such women have been attracted to me.

 

 

There isn't "someone for everyone", but I have seen very few people that are totally un attractive. I have seen plenty of people who will pass on a relationship with someone because that person would not fit the ideal that they are supposed to like. So they end up alone, or worse. They end up miserably connected to someone because they were supposed to be attracted to that type of person when they weren't.

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millymollymandy Member

millymollymandy

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This happens everyday. The "average" women you are referencing above have men who were crazy and all consuming madly in love with them because that's why their husbands proposed to them and married them. Why would you think differently? It's basically common sense.

 

Your idea of common sense is a simplistic fallacy.

It is possible that the men have been madly in love with beautiful women who broke their hearts and so they 'settled' for an average woman who would treat them kindly and always be there for them... despite not having the crazy in love feelings they had for the beautiful ones...

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Vogeltron Established Member

Vogeltron

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I may be one of the exceptions for men. But I can not date a very good looking or super hot woman. I give up all my power in the relationship and just roll over on everything. I have honestly had to punt on extremely good looking women because I know myself.

 

Personally I prefer the "Plain Jane" myself. I will admit I am the more shy type and I need to be in a relationship which I feel I have a say in. For better or worse say what you want but I have to be the man in the relationship.

 

For me in my mid 20's. I feel more comfortable with women a few years younger than me. Partially because of my personality. But I definitely am attracted to more "cute" than "hot" women largely because I know how I react to each..

 

I will say the one woman I was completely bonkers about that let me go. Was slightly above average as you describe. So as harsh a judge as I am I do think men given the circumstances will fall for the average woman you have alluded to.

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stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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Your idea of common sense is a simplistic fallacy.

It is possible that the men have been madly in love with beautiful women who broke their hearts and so they 'settled' for an average woman who would treat them kindly and always be there for them... despite not having the crazy in love feelings they had for the beautiful ones...

 

 

Not all men are so goodlooking that they have beautiful women standing around to date them and dump them. You are talking about a small percentage of the population. Most people (both men and women) have average looks. I know couples who most people wouldn't consider extremely attractive marry young and did not have their hearts broken by beautiful people which made them settle for someone average. Why do you think one has to be super-pretty to be loved?

  • Like 3
Iguanna Established Member

Iguanna

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I know that 'average' women get married/partnered every day and are loved by their partners and happy etc

 

...but I was wondering whether or not that crazy/all consuming madly in love feeling is reserved for the likes of beautiful women only?

 

Is it possible for a man to be madly head over heels in love with an average woman? Have you ever been truly in love with a woman that perhaps didn't meet the typical definition of pretty or beautiful?

 

You are aware that the beautiful women you are referring to are the models who use their perfect body for a living that's why they out such an effort on it, don't you?

 

We are ALL average. Both men and women. Categorizing people according to your version of beauty is at least racist and superficial.

 

Even if I were the prettiest woman in the world I would never want a guy who thinks like you.

 

And btw, what the hell does love have to do with beauty? Do we control our hearts "oh wait my heart, don't fall in love, she has a big nose, wait for it".:rolleyes:

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Iguanna Established Member

Iguanna

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Ok now I noticed OP is a girl. :p

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StanMusial Established Member

StanMusial

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Not all men are so goodlooking that they have beautiful women standing around to date them and dump them. You are talking about a small percentage of the population. Most people (both men and women) have average looks. I know couples who most people wouldn't consider extremely attractive marry young and did not have their hearts broken by beautiful people which made them settle for someone average. Why do you think one has to be super-pretty to be loved?

 

The probability that most people will fall for an average looking person is greater than the probability that they will fall for a beautiful person. It's simple mathematics.

 

The internet is a strange place. Some of the ideas and attitudes floating around here have a tenuous at best connection to reality.

  • Like 4
GoodOnPaper Established Member

GoodOnPaper

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I know that 'average' women get married/partnered every day and are loved by their partners and happy etc

 

...but I was wondering whether or not that crazy/all consuming madly in love feeling is reserved for the likes of beautiful women only?

 

Is it possible for a man to be madly head over heels in love with an average woman? Have you ever been truly in love with a woman that perhaps didn't meet the typical definition of pretty or beautiful?

 

By "madly in love", are you talking about truly falling in love or just the initial infatuation phase. If the latter, then you'd expect to have the most beautiful women being chased after by a lot of guys, but truly falling in love is about the quality of intimacy and connection. Above all, being comfortable enough with your partner to be completely open and uninhibited emotionally and physically is the best indicator of being "in love" -- I don't see how that's necessarily correlated to looks.

 

Yes, your partner's attractiveness factors in. To reach the "in-love" level of comfort, you need to experience enough physical attraction to kiss and have sex, but I certainly wouldn't approach girls if I thought they were too attractive, either. Sure, it's easy to say that I was just afraid, but if my mind is too occupied with all the competition I assume would exist or having to live up to some absurdly high level of attractiveness or status, then I'm not going to reach that "in-love" level of comfort, either.

  • Like 1
soccerrprp Established Member

soccerrprp

Posted
Posted
I know that 'average' women get married/partnered every day and are loved by their partners and happy etc

 

...but I was wondering whether or not that crazy/all consuming madly in love feeling is reserved for the likes of beautiful women only?

 

Is it possible for a man to be madly head over heels in love with an average woman? Have you ever been truly in love with a woman that perhaps didn't meet the typical definition of pretty or beautiful?

 

I have, am, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, she IS the MOST beautiful woman to ME. :)

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