Losther Posted December 31, 2004 Posted December 31, 2004 Want to give this girl her space. She doesn't want to talk to me. We have been in a 7 year realtionship. But I desperatley want her back. I have been doing no contact for about 2 weeks now. I want to call her for New Years or send a message. Should I?
alphamale Posted December 31, 2004 Posted December 31, 2004 Originally posted by Losther Want to give this girl her space. She doesn't want to talk to me. We have been in a 7 year realtionship. But I desperatley want her back. I have been doing no contact for about 2 weeks now. I want to call her for New Years or send a message. Should I? No. Let her contact you first, even if it takes another 3 months.
SadAndLonely Posted December 31, 2004 Posted December 31, 2004 Agreed. But if she contacts you, definitely respond. Just maybe not immediately.
Author Losther Posted December 31, 2004 Author Posted December 31, 2004 The problem is I have little hope she will contact me.
SadAndLonely Posted December 31, 2004 Posted December 31, 2004 Then she doesn't want to be with you, and you should move on anyway.
Author Losther Posted December 31, 2004 Author Posted December 31, 2004 WE ahve been together for 7 years and it's only been 2 months. i just don't have the confidence anymore that I used to in our realtionship or her love for me. Maybe I'm being cynical maybe I'm not. Each day I drift from one emotion to another. One day i can see hope becasue it has been so long. The next moment I see no hope cuz I have never been in a situation where someone I love flat out refuses refuses to speak or talk to me and even hangs up the phone and threatens to fiel a restrainign order if I come by. It just seems like either she's really angry or things are rally over. That's where I am. But whenever my brother goes by to pick things up she asks abotu me and she even told him she would think about giving me a 2nd chance. But then she's just soo mean to me.
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted December 31, 2004 Posted December 31, 2004 don't contact her tonight! if you don't you will be in a stronger position That's where I am. But whenever my brother goes by to pick things up she asks abotu me and she even told him she would think about giving me a 2nd chance. But then she's just soo mean to me. your brother shouldn't have told her anything or spoke to her "just give me the stuff and i'll leave" would suffice
Puma Posted December 31, 2004 Posted December 31, 2004 yeah dont call, its not worth it buddy..no matter how long u were together that is no validation of feelings. give her her space and go out party have fun do ur own thing and fight that urge to call her..she dont deserve it and u know that! if she calls u now thats diff..even then just dont let her get the best of you and the situation
Author Losther Posted December 31, 2004 Author Posted December 31, 2004 Yeah I tried partying, it didn't go over too well. But on the other hand. I did most of the messing up in this realtionship and I do think she's worth it.
Puma Posted December 31, 2004 Posted December 31, 2004 oh well then if u did most of the messin up then u have issues to deal with dont you? fix that get better, think about what u did..and down the line call her and ask to hang out and she will see u made changes and if uhave a chance then take it from there
RowanRavyn Posted December 31, 2004 Posted December 31, 2004 Originally posted by Losther WE ahve been together for 7 years and it's only been 2 months. i just don't have the confidence anymore that I used to in our realtionship or her love for me. Maybe I'm being cynical maybe I'm not. Each day I drift from one emotion to another. One day i can see hope becasue it has been so long. The next moment I see no hope cuz I have never been in a situation where someone I love flat out refuses refuses to speak or talk to me and even hangs up the phone and threatens to fiel a restrainign order if I come by. It just seems like either she's really angry or things are rally over. That's where I am. But whenever my brother goes by to pick things up she asks abotu me and she even told him she would think about giving me a 2nd chance. But then she's just soo mean to me. We have been talking in another thread, and a lot of the people posting here do not have all the details of this relationship. Contacting her right now would be a fatal error. YOU NEED TO FIX YOU! Leave her alone. Contacting her will only push her farther away. This is not about whether or not she loved you enough. She loved you enough to try for seven years (six and a half from another thread), and she is exhausted. Mental and Emotional abuse (That you admit to) has absolutely cut her to the core and soiled her soul. Fix yourself. Being alone on New Years Eve is not so much when you look at your lists.
RowanRavyn Posted December 31, 2004 Posted December 31, 2004 And staying away and trying to fix herself is not being mean to you!
Author Losther Posted December 31, 2004 Author Posted December 31, 2004 Ok, Thanks... I guess I knew that down deep. I guess youa re right that since she is trying to move on from somethign unhealthy (being me) that even though I might feel it is being mean to me in her eyes it is her trying to survive. I guess it is hard to rationalize when you are hurting.
RowanRavyn Posted December 31, 2004 Posted December 31, 2004 She is trying to heal. You sound like you really want to change things. (meaning not turn out like your father, and change the way you have handled things in the past). I think its just possible that you might be able to. That is not a compliment I hand to most men in your situation. Have a little faith in yourself and in changing your destiny.
ajogokats Posted December 31, 2004 Posted December 31, 2004 Be strong and rely on these people,I know,they are helping me. Leave her be,you know how fast time flies,let it be for now. I'm struggling too,but I know if I give in I'm just turning her away,I DONT WANT THAT!,and neither do you. Hang in there. AJ.
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