panoramicview Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 The anger is the only thing that takes away from the sadness. Whenever I get those bout of rage, I feel like I can move forward and never look back. I feel like I could forget about him. But I'm not angry...even though he led me on for months. I want him to be happy. I guess that's how it is when you love someone? But the sh**ty part of that is having to deal with the sadness and embrace that sharp pain in your heart that will be around for quite some time. I wish I could envision the future and say, "he doesn't know what he's missing; he'll regret letting me go." But that's simply not true, because he was never in love with me. And even knowing that, I still love him and want the best for him. Shouldn't that make you feel better...because I don't feel any better. 1
reddragon588 Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 It's not a linear process. Anger comes and goes. It doesn't always manifest itself as pure rage. Bitterness is a form if anger in my opinion. 1
Author panoramicview Posted December 3, 2013 Author Posted December 3, 2013 Yeah I know it's not linear. But the thing is, I don't even wan to be angry. I just want the pain to go away. In my experience, anger usually helps with that.
headinthecloud Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 Yeah I know it's not linear. But the thing is, I don't even wan to be angry. I just want the pain to go away. In my experience, anger usually helps with that. Some people will do anything to try and make the pain go away. Some even convince themselves that getting back with their ex will make everything better. The only remedy is time and repeatedly telling yourself that only you and your happiness matter. While I went through my anger phase I read a post here from a member (can't remember who) and the quote they used struck a chord that has forever changed me. "Anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." Be kind to yourself. Take care of you. Erase your ex from your mind, they are dead to you now. They don't exist. When you embrace this concept, the anger will disappear. 2
LostConfused123 Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 I feel kinda similar. I thought (or was hoping) I would cry a few tears, move on and think of him with a smile. . . sounds so simple right? And in my case completely unrealistic and naive. I was trying to trick myself into "tip toeing" around the anger. I don't like to be angry. it's an uncomfortable emotion for me (maybe that's common, idk) I'm wondering if I should just go hit a punching bag, force it out and be done with it already. . LOL!
Author panoramicview Posted December 3, 2013 Author Posted December 3, 2013 lol the punching bad thing sounds great. I love the idea of just smashing my phone with a hammer when I want to talk to him, but then again I need it lol. But it's best to let those emotions take place. If you don't allow yourself to feel them, they will hit you when you least expect it and think you've gotten over it, and that'll really set you back. 1
Author panoramicview Posted December 3, 2013 Author Posted December 3, 2013 "Anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." Be kind to yourself. Take care of you. Erase your ex from your mind, they are dead to you now. They don't exist. When you embrace this concept, the anger will disappear. Thank you. This was truly the advice I needed to hear. I do need to start worrying about myself and how I feel. I almost thought about apologizing for lashing out at him the last time we talked, but it would affect him very minimally and it would set me back tons. I do have to look at this and process it as a death. He's gone. The weird part is that death isn't as hard on me as break-ups are.
KelC411 Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 Sorry to hear you are feeling so badly. It is not easy to turn off your love for someone. Though my ex was vicious to me during the break up, I find it hard to think of anything but his good qualities. Everyone tells me to be angry and I cant. I think the best thing we can do is try to feel our grief and move through it (I know that is not that helpful, but it seems to be necessary) in our own way. Anger might help for a moment, but ultimate,y its just another side of grief and loss. It may just not be your main expression of that.
LostConfused123 Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 lol the punching bad thing sounds great. I love the idea of just smashing my phone with a hammer when I want to talk to him, but then again I need it lol. But it's best to let those emotions take place. If you don't allow yourself to feel them, they will hit you when you least expect it and think you've gotten over it, and that'll really set you back. Wow!! Okay, I must be more comfortable with anger than I thought because the idea of smashing my phone with a hammer sounds fun!!! (wicked laugh) Scary! haha! I guess it won't benefit me to tip toe over the anger anymore. I guess I better stomp on it! I hope the anger stage doesn't last too long. Being cranky feels awful. And gives me frown lines. . . Grrrrrrrrrr! 2
Author panoramicview Posted December 3, 2013 Author Posted December 3, 2013 Sorry to hear you are feeling so badly. It is not easy to turn off your love for someone. Though my ex was vicious to me during the break up, I find it hard to think of anything but his good qualities. Everyone tells me to be angry and I cant. I think the best thing we can do is try to feel our grief and move through it (I know that is not that helpful, but it seems to be necessary) in our own way. Anger might help for a moment, but ultimate,y its just another side of grief and loss. It may just not be your main expression of that. Thank you. I'm sorry to hear that your ex was so horrible to you during the break up. But that's very true. We'll get through this whatever way is best for us, as long as it's not destructive. Talking on this forum has already made me feel better.
Author panoramicview Posted December 3, 2013 Author Posted December 3, 2013 Wow!! Okay, I must be more comfortable with anger than I thought because the idea of smashing my phone with a hammer sounds fun!!! (wicked laugh) Scary! haha! I guess it won't benefit me to tip toe over the anger anymore. I guess I better stomp on it! I hope the anger stage doesn't last too long. Being cranky feels awful. And gives me frown lines. . . Grrrrrrrrrr! Haha! Just try your best not to make an angry face. You should be fine. 1
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