SoonMyFriend Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 Well here's the story... I threw my annual Christmas party this weekend, and at the end of the night one of my guy friends stuck around to help me clean up. He admitted that at the Halloween party we were both at, that it seemed like I had been hitting on him and so he started to see me in a different light. (I do not remember hitting on him, as I was quite hammered at that party). He asked me out on a proper date later this week, and I accepted. Then we made out on my couch (which I enjoyed and don't regret) and then he stayed over (please note we did not have sex). In the morning we ended up fooling around (still no sex. Just a lot of heavy petting basically.) We've agreed to keep this from our friends until we figure things out. He said he likes me, and he is a shy guy so I know this probably isn't his general way of operating with women... I just don't know how I feel. He's a great guy, so many of my friends want me to date him, I did enjoy making out with him and everything, but I don't know... LS... I need help to figure out what to do from here. My plan right now is to be honest with him during our date and just say that I need time to figure out how I feel and don't want to lead him into thinking this is going to get serious very quickly. I've spent the last year in and out of LTR so I don't want to keep rushing into serious relationships. I also know this guy is a good guy and at the end of the day I don't want to lead him on, and also ruin our friendship. Is honesty just the best policy? Or do I keep my mouth shut until I feel more certain?
Clay Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 You probably should not date him at all. It sounds like you have to much going on all together. If he does get his heart into it and you are still not ready you will ruin your relationship with him. I doubt this guy is really the one for you anyhow. If he was you would never give your past relationship a second thought. Might just be the writing on the wall. Clay
Author SoonMyFriend Posted December 2, 2013 Author Posted December 2, 2013 I'm just uncertain about him and about my feelings. Really until he confessed how he felt about me I never saw him in that light. I didn't think he was interested in me. And we've always just been friends. He is also my friend's ex. (They broke up years ago and they are on very good terms). I just don't know when I should tell him how I feel - immediately, or after our date when I might have a better idea of my feelings.
Versacehottie Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 Listen, i don't know why you feel like you have to disclose anything to him at this point. Dating IS figuring it out. You are already friends and in the same circle and have already made out. It's going to be awkward either way if it doesn't work out. Why not give it a chance and just see what happens? No talk necessary at this point. Let yourself relax and enjoy spending time with him. The only thing I would mention to him is that since you want to take it slow and take the pressure of having other friends know and their influence/opinions that you would like to keep it to yourselves for now. Simple and light. He sounds like a good guy and a good catch. You owe it to yourself to see what's there. I'm not sure why people feel like they need to have serious talks to define things. Just go with the flow. There is nothing to define yet. And telling him something negative about himself is not going to preserve the friendship. I would only say something if you feel like it was a mistake and are sure you don't like him. Otherwise, see what happens and how you feel. Good luck!
Author SoonMyFriend Posted December 10, 2013 Author Posted December 10, 2013 Thanks versacehottie. We went out on a date last week, and we were at the same Christmas party on the weekend. The date went well, but I think it's clear this guy wants to move faster than I want to. I am going to tell him on our date this week that I haven't quite figured out my feelings, and that we need to take it slow. He's already been pushing for me to come over and "watch a movie" aka have sex. I've been feeling overwhelmed because nearly ALL of our friends want us to date. So I almost feel pressured to date this guy. And it's very clear he REALLY likes me, or at the very least REALLY wants in my pants again. He cornered my best friend at the Christmas party to try and get info out of her about what I think about him, for example. It just feels more like I am stringing him along at this point since I really have no idea if I want to keep pursuing anything with him.
Recommended Posts