letsplaygofish2 Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 Last night I found the ex on okcupid and confronted him. He posted a photo that i had taken of him, it made me so angry. During our chat he was full of mixed signals says he would have married me if I wasn't so emotionally charged, but who doesn't get frustrated and angry when you're treated like crap? I think he may have BDP but I'm not sure. I'm just super hurt that the person I fell in love with is not the same person today. I'm just so hurt and disappointed. Will this feeling get better? I finally deleted his phone number from my phone... Any advice and support would be appreciated.
Mario79 Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 Sorry to hear it. It does get better. But that really depends on you. For some its a slooow painful process for others, are more than likely not posting here. Sounds he was just trying to either avoid conflict telling you he would marry you. Reality is that people work through their problems when they really care. Since you broke up and he is moving on you cant really be calling him on his actions anymore. So yeah delete him from the phone, block him, avoid sites, anything that feels like a temptation, because that road leads to obsession with someone who is not feeling the same way you are. I think 1
violet1 Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 Last night I found the ex on okcupid and confronted him. He posted a photo that i had taken of him, it made me so angry. During our chat he was full of mixed signals says he would have married me if I wasn't so emotionally charged, but who doesn't get frustrated and angry when you're treated like crap? I think he may have BDP but I'm not sure. I'm just super hurt that the person I fell in love with is not the same person today. I'm just so hurt and disappointed. Will this feeling get better? I finally deleted his phone number from my phone... Any advice and support would be appreciated. Sweetie, it will not get any better if you contact him. He's playing the classic blame game. We would have done x, if you had done y. It'll take time to heal. Focus on you! Develop new hobbies, hit the gym, go out with your gal pals. When you're feeling a lot of anger and frustration, post here or write in a journal. Whatever you do, please do NOT contact him again. Remember, he's an ex for a reason.
organizedchaos Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 Last night I found the ex on okcupid and confronted him. He posted a photo that i had taken of him, it made me so angry. During our chat he was full of mixed signals says he would have married me if I wasn't so emotionally charged, but who doesn't get frustrated and angry when you're treated like crap? I think he may have BDP but I'm not sure. I'm just super hurt that the person I fell in love with is not the same person today. I'm just so hurt and disappointed. Will this feeling get better? I finally deleted his phone number from my phone... Any advice and support would be appreciated. I don't understand. You guys broke up right? What gives you the right to confront him about being on a dating site? Or am I missing something? And yeah, you just validated his decision to end things with you over you being overly emotional by being overly emotional! 1
Hotsauce3mk Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 Last night I found the ex on okcupid and confronted him. He posted a photo that i had taken of him, it made me so angry. During our chat he was full of mixed signals says he would have married me if I wasn't so emotionally charged, but who doesn't get frustrated and angry when you're treated like crap? I think he may have BDP but I'm not sure. I'm just super hurt that the person I fell in love with is not the same person today. I'm just so hurt and disappointed. Will this feeling get better? I finally deleted his phone number from my phone... Any advice and support would be appreciated. This happened to me a couple weeks ago. I saw my ex gf on Tinder. Using photos that I TOOK of her. It was incredibly painful and definitely set me back. But I just blocked her. I know it feels like this pain will never go away. But just stay away and don't ever contact him again. He's not worth it anyway If he's just blaming you and treated you like crap. It will get better with time. Stay strong and focus on yourself. We'll get through this breakup hell and become stronger from it. 2
Author letsplaygofish2 Posted December 2, 2013 Author Posted December 2, 2013 I don't understand. You guys broke up right? What gives you the right to confront him about being on a dating site? Or am I missing something? And yeah, you just validated his decision to end things with you over you being overly emotional by being overly emotional! I guess I always held on hope that we'd work out. I even told him that I was willing to wait for us to give this relationship a break so that we could work on ourselves. I sent him a long heartfelt message and a voicemail. Both which he received very well. He told me it was very sweet, thank you. And yes, you're right. I validated his decision to leave things. I just need to get over it. I guess my fear is that I'm 36 (Going to be 37 in 2 weeks). I mean, it is kind of frightening to think that I might never meet the right guy and have a family.. if you know what I mean?
violet1 Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 I guess I always held on hope that we'd work out. I even told him that I was willing to wait for us to give this relationship a break so that we could work on ourselves. I sent him a long heartfelt message and a voicemail. Both which he received very well. He told me it was very sweet, thank you. And yes, you're right. I validated his decision to leave things. I just need to get over it. I guess my fear is that I'm 36 (Going to be 37 in 2 weeks). I mean, it is kind of frightening to think that I might never meet the right guy and have a family.. if you know what I mean? Actions speak louder than words. I don't think he wants to work on things if he's on a dating site. Maybe I'm nuts, but taking a break to work on yourself doesn't mean date other people. Let yourself heal and move on. Do NOT settle because of your age. 1
Author letsplaygofish2 Posted December 2, 2013 Author Posted December 2, 2013 Actions speak louder than words. I don't think he wants to work on things if he's on a dating site. Maybe I'm nuts, but taking a break to work on yourself doesn't mean date other people. Let yourself heal and move on. Do NOT settle because of your age. No, you're not nuts. And yes, I've always said actions speak louder than words. Even when we were together he would do one thing, but say another. It drove me crazy because he was saying he loved me, but kept running away when things got serious. Yes, I'm am going to weekly counseling and am working on myself. I've got 8 years of therapy under my belt, so dealing with my problems isn't an issue. I've always admitted to my faults and am quick to apologise. As far as my age, it's just another jab in a sore subject..
mtnbiker3000 Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 Last night I found the ex on okcupid and confronted him. He posted a photo that i had taken of him, it made me so angry. During our chat he was full of mixed signals says he would have married me if I wasn't so emotionally charged, but who doesn't get frustrated and angry when you're treated like crap? I think he may have BDP but I'm not sure. I'm just super hurt that the person I fell in love with is not the same person today. I'm just so hurt and disappointed. Will this feeling get better? I finally deleted his phone number from my phone... Any advice and support would be appreciated. Stop trying to diagnose him. Stop remaining in contact with him. He is your ex. He can do whatever he wants, without your permission or approval.
Author letsplaygofish2 Posted December 2, 2013 Author Posted December 2, 2013 Stop trying to diagnose him. Stop remaining in contact with him. He is your ex. He can do whatever he wants, without your permission or approval. Yeah, you're absolutely right. I need to write a Good & Bad list so that I can see things in black and white. In the long term, I couldn't have married a man who keeps running away anyway.
organizedchaos Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 Yeah, you're absolutely right. I need to write a Good & Bad list so that I can see things in black and white. In the long term, I couldn't have married a man who keeps running away anyway. If anything, count this as a likely divorce you just avoided. That is far worse than this. 3
Author letsplaygofish2 Posted December 2, 2013 Author Posted December 2, 2013 If anything, count this as a likely divorce you just avoided. That is far worse than this. Absolutely, I've been divorced before too!
violet1 Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 No, you're not nuts. And yes, I've always said actions speak louder than words. Even when we were together he would do one thing, but say another. It drove me crazy because he was saying he loved me, but kept running away when things got serious. Yes, I'm am going to weekly counseling and am working on myself. I've got 8 years of therapy under my belt, so dealing with my problems isn't an issue. I've always admitted to my faults and am quick to apologise. As far as my age, it's just another jab in a sore subject.. That's wonderful you're in therapy. It really does help. The comment about your age wasn't meant to be a jab at you. My apologies for that. I just don't like to hear of people settle because of fear and it doesn't matter where the fear is stemmed from. I know of many people in their mid 30's who find love and start families. My H's uncle met his wife when they were both 36. They got married and had two kids. I have an aunt who had her 1st baby at 42. Don't give up hope!!
Author letsplaygofish2 Posted December 3, 2013 Author Posted December 3, 2013 No, I don't take offense to anything at all! I didn't notice any jabs. It is hard to see how old people are anyway Thank you for the hope about finding a partner and having a family. God, I don't know why I'm desperate about having a family!! I think it has to do with not having a complete family growing up... for some reason I just want to have little kids to love love love. Is that desperate or needy? I'm a giver.
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