Will She come back?

[FLATLINE1219]

I guess I'll start from the top.... Well I met this girl 4 months ago and she has been nothing short of great. Even for the type of relationship am in (gay). I'm bi sexual and she is a transsexual. But any way... we've been in a couple of rough patches; for example... she cheated on me 3 weeks in the relationship. I cant say its all entirely her fault but I kind of provoked it. She wanted me to be "catch" and I never did that so, I said " babe I love you but I cant give you that so look else where". That was my first mistake. Then when I gave in and said hey let me sacrifice for her and see what happens, and it wasn't as bad as I thought it was, but not 10 minutes later I went through her phone and saw pictures of other guys naked and her planning to go see them for sex. So I bugged out and said am done... I felt so used and dirty. When I called a cab and told her to come downstairs to see me off I couldn't go... I got in the cab and made a u turn and talked about it... I held her that whole night because I saw that she was sorry... and she mad a huge mistake. Then from that point on... I start to resent her without even knowing it. I started to do things that made her feel unwanted. it lasted for like a month and some change. I had issues coming in the relationship but I tried to put them aside and when I felt that betrayal it just made me bitter. so as she started to get fed up with me going through her phone and accusing her... she started to let go... so we was fighting so much that we had to take a break the first time.. which lasted 4 days and she called me. She talked to friends and family and she even wrote in her diary for the first time in 10 years... all about me... also to bear in mind.. while this whole month of treating her like crap she was still texting other guys and having them send nudes and she was sending them back... but that was before the break. Fast forward time, we came back to each other.. but it didn't feel right in a way. like we was walking on egg shell a little. the feeling of her writing that long speech to me saying am the greatest man she's ever known and she will treat me with the love and respect I deserve. so we met up for the first time since the break and we saw hunger games and laughed and had a great time and we even had sex, which to be honest seems rushed..?? like it was something to get out the way for me. then we fell asleep and I went to work an planned on our next meeting which was thanksgiving... that's when "I" ****ed up.. I knew I messed this one up. so she denied me sex 3 times from Wednesday night to Thursday night so when we slept... I went through her phone again because I thought she wasn't attracted to me and I wanted to know if she was at it again. I saw a email from this guy she use to text and I didn't even care to look into it. I saw that she texted him and I lost it, but I waited till I thought was a right time to "catch" her. regardless it was bad blew up, but I never called her names or anything I just brought up the fact that she texted him. but come to find out she said am with my boyfriend and your too late. So I was so mad that I was trying to bluff and say in done.. but I knew I wasn't and she called me on it and I broke down in bed with her and cried in her arms and said am sorry... but I guess the damage has been done at that point... so the next morning I tried to not think about it or speak about it, but she brought it up and we started to argue but it was more then a heated debate. She dropped me off at my house... when I got up stairs I started to text and call and I panicked because I thought that was the last time I was ever going to see her. so I started to call her job so she had to pick up the phone... which was the worst mistake... then after I started crying and bagging and she says she don't feel it no more... so I let a day go by and I saw her FB and she said newly single.. Idk how I feel about it, I think it could have been avoided and next time u going to search make sure u get all the evidence to make a good case. I think someone is kicking them self's in the ass - feeling free.... then her sister was like boo. I liked him and she says I still love him but he has to fight his demons...

so I called her and asked one more time.. and tried to seek reason... but she don't feel me no more....

so my thing is.. will she come back?? is she teaching me a lesson? there is a whole much more to this... she's not a bad person... but she and I think is vindictive in a way... but I just want some closure... some type of mantra to get my mind right so if she does come back... I can be a different person... but have the same feelings... am hurt.... I cant eat.. sleep... or do anything.... I just hope this can be salvage because she loves me... I know it now... and I love her....

Edited December 2, 2013 by FLATLINE1219

[d0nnivain]

This sounds like waaaaayyyyyyy too much drama for only 4 months. You two also sound fundamentally incompatible.

 

 

For your sake in the long run I hope she doesn't come back. I also don't see where you can think she loves you. That's not coming through at all from your post