d0nnivain Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 My 50+ year old cousin has issues . . . She's been diagnosed BPD & Asperger's. She likes the Asperger's diagnosis better because it gets her more sympathy. She really has BPD. She's also an under employed alcoholic who spent most of her adult life living way above her means. She's cut down drastically & I know that easts at her because she's no longer the "it girl" with the world at her feet. Despite all that she's always been functional. She also took fantastic care of her pets. This is why I'm scared. I stopped by her house the other day to bring her a bunch of food. It was a dirty mess. I'm messy & I understand that mess is an outward manifestation of depression but this was gross. There was dog poop & urine in the living room & kitchen. The dog is a toy breed so it wasn't overwhelming but geesh. Her rabbit's hutch was so disgusting I offered to clean it right then & there. I did pick up a little because the poor rabbit was sitting in filth. Both animals needed to be cleaned. It's not animal abuse but it's not the perfectly groomed pets I'm used to seeing. Even in the depths of her previous depressions including a suicide attempt which resulted in hospitalization, the animals were well taken care of. Her brother is stopping over there today to check up on her at my insistence. I won't see her again for 9 days -- it's her birthday next week. I wasn't going to go to her birthday dinner because it involves going to a different state & driving 2 hours each way on a weeknight but now I'm afraid not to go. Is there anything concrete I can do to keep her safe? She has not expressed suicidal ideations but I'm worried. If I ask her directly she will freak & cut all communication. I've been down that road before so caution is the watchword.
Author d0nnivain Posted December 3, 2013 Author Posted December 3, 2013 She sent me an e-mail over the weekend, thanking me for the food but I'm still worried. Does anybody have an ideas? Do you think I'm worried for nothing?
turnera Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 No, you should be worried. I would try to bring other people over to her house; if more than one express concern it'll be harder for her to pretend like nothing's wrong. 1
Author d0nnivain Posted December 3, 2013 Author Posted December 3, 2013 I was thinking about snooping in her medicine cabinet when I go over there next week to get the name of her therapist so I can tell that doctor about my observations. I know that doctor can't talk to me, but he should be able to listen.
turnera Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 I did that once, when my brother was suicidal - called his shrink. Who promptly told him. He didn't talk to me for a year.
Author d0nnivain Posted December 3, 2013 Author Posted December 3, 2013 As long as she's alive for another year, I can live with her not talking to me. If she kills herself, that I would beat myself up about.
turnera Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 True, just warning you that she likely won't be appreciative and see it the way you do. The more people on your side, the better.
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