30andsad Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 Been doing fairly decent lately, including making it through Thanksgiving without feeling too worn down and miserable. Back story: 4 years, 3 living together, she left house 9 weeks ago and broke it off 7 weeks ago. She hasn't been on social media hardly at all since the breakup, but just got back on recently. I know I shouldn't look at it or defriend her, but I just can't yet. Anyway, she posted some pictures of her new place, which is a very small duplex apartment downtown, entitling the album "Starting Over..." Just really made me sad and down seeing it, and the title bothered me. It sounds like "picking up the pieces of my broken life", when she's the one who left me! All her friends and family are saying encouraging things like, "You'll make it, you're strong." She didn't need to do this! She chose this life, willingly. I begged her to give our relationship until the end of the year, just 3 more months to work out the kinks, but instead she ran from her problems like she always has and dropped everything. Anyway, just needed to vent some. I think it's a very unfair representation of things, if anyone picking up the pieces of a broken life in this crap, it's me. I was the one who was let go, left alone, left with a big mortgage payment, had to replace half of the stuff in my house, all without any choice in the matter.
xUnknown Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 Been doing fairly decent lately, including making it through Thanksgiving without feeling too worn down and miserable. Back story: 4 years, 3 living together, she left house 9 weeks ago and broke it off 7 weeks ago. She hasn't been on social media hardly at all since the breakup, but just got back on recently. I know I shouldn't look at it or defriend her, but I just can't yet. Anyway, she posted some pictures of her new place, which is a very small duplex apartment downtown, entitling the album "Starting Over..." Just really made me sad and down seeing it, and the title bothered me. It sounds like "picking up the pieces of my broken life", when she's the one who left me! All her friends and family are saying encouraging things like, "You'll make it, you're strong." She didn't need to do this! She chose this life, willingly. I begged her to give our relationship until the end of the year, just 3 more months to work out the kinks, but instead she ran from her problems like she always has and dropped everything. Anyway, just needed to vent some. I think it's a very unfair representation of things, if anyone picking up the pieces of a broken life in this crap, it's me. I was the one who was let go, left alone, left with a big mortgage payment, had to replace half of the stuff in my house, all without any choice in the matter. I too wasn't able to defriend my ex. I instead blocked her from showing up in my news feed. I'm about 2.5 months post BU, and haven't been on her page in a few weeks more than that. If you can't defriend her, do what I did. You'll thank yourself later. Please, stop going on FB. Shoot for not going on it tomorrow...then, do the same the following day...then give it a week. After two weeks you'll realize that FB is lame and it was only causing your more pain. I'm finally able to get on with my day without thinking about my ex. I'm not indifferent yet, because it would still hurt seeing her with someone else - but, I'm in that acceptance phase and glad I am moving on. Post here on the forums whenever you feel like breaking contact. Yes, that includes checking her FB page. You have to cut her out completely. If you cant being yourself to delete her, then you must have the self discipline to NOT check her page and other social media outlets. I'm starting to consider the fact that my ex of 2 almost 2 years was my GIGS...I think that has really helped me get over her. My feelings have always been with someone else and I think I'm starting to realize that I may have been with my ex to help get me over this other girl who I've loved and known my entire life...who knows. I need to do more soul searching. 1
BlessYourCottonSocks Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 I'm so sorry :-( You guys were together for a long time. It will be rough. I just went through a breakup and I'm still living with him for now until I find another place to go. It sucks when someone breaks your heart and you see them moving on just fine. IT HURTS. You aren't alone. I don't have much advice to give other than to stay NC as best you can. She left you, so respect her decision and don't give her anything. 1
reddragon588 Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 You need to delete her or else this will keep happening. Deleting my ex was one of the biggest steps in my recovery. A lot of times in the immediate aftermath of a breakup, we feel a loss of control. Guess what- here's one thing you CAN control! So take advantage of it! 1
barky2 Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 Only you,not us, can persuade yourself to defriend block and ignore her. Sounds like she's looking for a support system. " hey girl you'll be fine!" Don't try and wrap your head around anything she posts because it's not directed towards you. You yourself, are starting over also. Be excited for it. A new girl, one you'll love just as much if not more. A girl who won't run out on you. Believe me it'll happen, give yourself time to greive, and carry on...you don't have a choice. Good luck broseph. Barky 2
TanTry Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 I am sorry you had to see this I think you need to try and block her from facebook if you cant defriend her Looking will only hurt you more Well done for getting through thanksgiving x 2
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