Do u believe your ex will come back?

[Sugarkane]

Disagree with you. Never been contacted by my ex who brought me here. And that was an out of The blue breakup. Never been contacted going back to my first bf, a decade ago. I looked on his Facebook once and realized why it didn't work out. I don't post my sex life on social media, for everyone to see. Maybe I'm too good at NC? QUOTE=Transplant;5378452]Agreed with Barky and Eddie - they all came back in some shape or form, some to relieve guilt and some to feel more definitive closure (even if it was initiated at their hand), some wanted to try again and some wanted a final, 'F-off' (in as many, or more words).

 

I made the mistake of taking one back, and bless her heart, she tried inexhaustibly hard to make the second go 'round work, but she didn't care for me the way she originally did.

 

The biggest difficulty in taking them back or trying to get them back are the expectations that invariably loom about. I juggled my gums many a times saying I didn't have any expectations when I did get back together but I did; I just didn't realize it until it all started again. All I was left with was pain which later gave way to regret.

 

These ex's had a season or seasons in our lives and they are in the past and the past is occasionally a nice place for a vacation but it's no place to live.

[NoMoreJerks]

Mine came back 3 times. I wish he hadn't. Hope fourth time's the charm and he disappears completely from my life -- though he's kept up sporadic contact (without a response from me). :sick:

[MoooOinkBaaa]

Three times? Are they real breakups or just short ones less than a week?

[30andsad]

I'd be really surprised if mine came back.we had a ton of ties together including a house and she has severed all that for her new life. Even if she realizes the grass isn't greener or maybe what we had could have worked or maybe I was what she wanted, I don't think she would let it be known. She would be too embarrassed I think to admit it and reach out. A shame, but what will be must be I suppose.

[cavalier99]

Mine came back 3 times. I wish he hadn't. Hope fourth time's the charm and he disappears completely from my life -- though he's kept up sporadic contact (without a response from me). :sick:

 

Mine came back like three times also. But there was only 1 definitive BU that brought me to LS. Most of us here know that this is the true BU..like forever type deal.

 

Although many are loathe to admit it. We all know deep down this is the end of the road for our previous RS. (99.9 percent of the time). Cav

 

PS i told you after like the 1st time to go NC hahahaha but i still supported you when you got back with him when no one else did! Hope your doing well!!

Edited December 3, 2013 by cavalier99

[kohsa_23]

I don't want her back and don't even want to see her ever again in my life.

[Am4Real]

Your question to the forum was “I was wondering if anyone else was convinced their ex will come back”, however you’re receiving a myriad of personal experiences regarding returning EX’s along with flat-out ideologies on EX’s returning or not returning.

 

Let me address your question in that you are wondering if any posters in the post break up period were/are convinced their EX would come back?

 

The answer is: YES!

 

Seemingly a large number of first-time posters on LS as well as my friends and other acquaintances of mine can be in shock, disbelief, denial and bewilderment in the days and weeks following the news or event regarding a split.

 

We often think it’s surreal and surely our old times, feelings, words and sexual exchanges meant the world to them and there is no way they would part from it are words we so often read in this forum. Sound about right for you too?

 

Sure.

 

Most of us had those thoughts as well and were convinced of two things: 1) this is not really happening and, 2) they will realize what they lost.

 

Now forward on some and as the other posters allude to in their stories, some EX’s return with all sorts of varied time frames and plenty more are never heard from again.

 

For those that understand the chances are slim to none for an EX returning, do they quickly change their mindset from being convinced to definitive action, such as the much spoken of NO CONTACT to therapy to dating others, keeping busy and naturally all types of self-improvement activity…whatever it is, they no longer care to dwell on being convinced of anything except the wellness of themselves.

 

Then there are those, some of whom you will meet in these forums who remain convinced for a long time, never realizing the falsehoods they hold within themselves and look for signs or cling to hope, all of which support the feelings of being persuaded their EX will return.

 

I believe the posters who did not address your question directly but skipped to either their own experience or personal ideology on EX’s returning know from personal experience the falsehood of remaining convinced on the return of an EX – and they are extremely correct. When I take my own lifelong experience into consideration it differs little from my colleague posters. Nonetheless I’ll bet at some time, perhaps another b/u or another EX, they/we all went through a period of being convinced – losing someone important in your life is truly a learning experience. Many of us are unfortunately or fortunately seasoned and know better now – isn’t that right CAV99? (LOL).

 

So tell us OP, are you asking because you remain convinced your EX will return to you?

Edited December 3, 2013 by Am4Real

[reddragon588]

Not anymore! And how awesome is that?

[Runnersx]

As someone on here said before, some dumpers regret their decision and come back, some regret their decision but don't come back, and some don't come back at all.

 

I think most of the time though, pride would hold anyone from coming back to their ex and so they throw out breadcrumbs to test the waters a bit before jumping back in.

 

However, one should move on without holding onto the hope that something will happen. Why would you want an ex back?

 

I have a strong feeling that my ex regrets her decision to end things, but would I take her back ever? No. That decision to end the relationship should have consequences. Otherwise, you are just dealing with an indecisive and impulsive person, not someone you want to trust with your heart.

[EnigmaWolf92]

I still hold hope she will come back but I know its dumb. It's hard to think they won't when they run in the same social circles as me and everything still fresh. I however know that if they came back it would be bad for both of us. I'm struggling to try and break that hope and I guess bond I had. Good people but If you do enough serious digging once the blinders are off well it may be hard to accept and I'm still struggling as I've said there are underlining factors that show its best to just let go. I guess the hardest part really is acceptance of things and putting into practice the moving on process because its annoyingly easy to get set back and the minds a killer.

Edited December 3, 2013 by EnigmaWolf92

[organizedchaos]

As someone on here said before, some dumpers regret their decision and come back, some regret their decision but don't come back, and some don't come back at all.

 

I think most of the time though, pride would hold anyone from coming back to their ex and so they throw out breadcrumbs to test the waters a bit before jumping back in.

 

However, one should move on without holding onto the hope that something will happen. Why would you want an ex back?

 

I have a strong feeling that my ex regrets her decision to end things, but would I take her back ever? No. That decision to end the relationship should have consequences. Otherwise, you are just dealing with an indecisive and impulsive person, not someone you want to trust with your heart.

 

Some good points there and ones I struggle with. Would I take her back? I'm undecided. I miss her, yes. But she bailed on a guy who loved her because of her indecisiveness/selfishness/GIGS.

 

Could I ever trust her again after what she put me through?

[Salvatore85]

She came back once and if she comes back again I'll cross that bridge when I get there. If she doesn't come back, who cares?

 

Stop living your life worrying about whether or not your ex will comeback. Live your life like it's the only one you'll ever be given because that's the truth. Every time you're sitting around crying and wanting your ex back stop and realize what they're doing. They aren't sitting around crying about you, odds are they're sleeping with someone else because they've completely forgot about you.

 

I know, I know it's a one in a million love, your situation is different, no one will ever understand but the truth is that's all a crock. Just read thread after thread on LS and you'll start to notice similarities to a situation you thought was so unlike any other. Just like heartbreak has been around since the beginning of time so have blossoming love stories. You live, you learn, you mature and you move on. Before you know it you'll be in another one in a million relationship and you'll look back and wonder why you spent so much time obsessing over someone who, in the grand scheme of things, was nothing more than a footnote in your book of life.

[Leigh 87]

Ten characters

 

My reply didn't turn out properly. Can't be buggard re writing it.

[purplesoccer34]

It's been 3 months since we broke up. I'm convinced he will never come back because that's what he told me. I didn't mean nearly as much to him as he meant to me--or at least, that's the way it seems.

 

I'm glad he told me what he did, because honestly I no longer want him back in any way whatsoever

[HeartbrokenNewbie]

Thanks everyone. I dont think I could have him back even if he did come back I just have this feeling he's going to try but no evidence to support it! I guess its just a normal part of the healing process... will push to the back of my mind and push on x

[faithfully]

Nooo i dont think he will ever come back, he told me he never goes back with previous ex. Sodoubt he will come back!! If he tried coming back i would be skeptical as to what the motives are. And do i want somebody who treated me like sh!+ back?? Not really

[mysteriouschic]

But all I know is my ex hasn't stopped contacted me for whatever reason. One every month since we've broken up. I've only responded the first time an then went strict NC ignoring him. He's text me 3 times twice this month. Once at the start he text me first then a few days later I text him an he replied but the conversation didn't go the right way, so I stopped texting him. He's even gone as far as blocking me on whatsapp and then unblocking to text me then reblocking texting me again but this time just leaving it unblocked. But my ex has a girlfriend who he got with after so I don't know if he will he seems happy with her like I've looked at his facebook (we're not friends) I don't know he seems serious. We did have strong chemistry an he wanted me from the moment he met me so maybe he will but I'm not gonna put my life on hold just keeping moving forward and staying no contact.

Edited December 3, 2013 by mysteriouschic

[HeartbrokenNewbie]

But all I know is my ex hasn't stopped contacted me for whatever reason. One every month since we've broken up. I've only responded the first time an then went strict NC ignoring him. He's text me 3 times twice this month. Once at the start he text me first then a few days later I text him an he replied but the conversation didn't go the right way, so I stopped texting him. He's even gone as far as blocking me on whatsapp and then unblocking to text me then reblocking texting me again but this time just leaving it unblocked. But my ex has a girlfriend who he got with after so I don't know if he will he seems happy with her like I've looked at his facebook (we're not friends) I don't know he seems serious. We did have strong chemistry an he wanted me from the moment he met me so maybe he will but I'm not gonna put my life on hold just keeping moving forward and staying no contact.

 

U are doing the right thing x it sounds like he does regret and his new GF is probably a rebound x u need to remain out the picture... u want what u cant have x if he keeps messaging just simply put back "I am not prepared to speak to u when u have a GF, Im sorry but its the right thing to do" x x

[mysteriouschic]

U are doing the right thing x it sounds like he does regret and his new GF is probably a rebound x u need to remain out the picture... u want what u cant have x if he keeps messaging just simply put back "I am not prepared to speak to u when u have a GF, Im sorry but its the right thing to do" x x

 

Possibly but the first message he texted me was a hook up message saying "Wanna hook up?"

Although I replied the next day asking if he was drunk and he responded

"Hahaha yeah I was sorry still didn't answer the question? :P"

I just sent back "why you wanna talk?" he ignored an then I stupidly really wanted to talk to him an actually thought about hooking up at some point an sent him the hook up message(pretending to be drunk) he responded the same really an was up for it although he was clearly stating he just wanted a casual an not a relationship. We never went for it an he blocked me on whatsapp. I texted apologising a week later he ignored and the week after that just told him I missed him. I went strict NC from there and he's messaged me twice it's been 2 months since I've last texted him. He texted me the start of November and the end, he always texts me between 3-4 weeks. He's left the whatsapp unblocked now.

I don't he seems happy with his girlfriend he's always posting pictures on his facebook or tagging her in statuses. An we were only together a month an a half he's with her longer. I just keep ignoring until I know his intentions it's only been late night texts atm too but he works late night. I'll probably just keep ignoring don't really want to text back.

[HeartbrokenNewbie]

Im sorry but it does sound like he only wants a hook up BUT seek comfort in the fact that u are strong enough to remain in NC for that long which gives u the power to walk away with & that he simply cant be that 'into' his new GF or he wouldnt have asked u .... now walk away head held high x

[barky2]

Honestly, I can only speak from how I'd feel.

 

If I asked a ex to "hookup"

 

It'd mean, I have no more emotional feelings towards you,and I just want a quickie.

 

We're both comfortable with each other, so why not?

 

It's selfish, especially if I knew they still had feelings for me.

 

So take my opinion with a grain of salt, but I'd be looking to bump uglies and get up and out ASAP after we were done.

 

If a guy asks for a random hookup, all you're going to do is feel gross after,especially if u still love him.

 

If you're 100% over it, the relationship and all,feel free.

 

If they ask for a random hookup, and have that little respect for you, say " no thanks, the person I'm seeing is taking real good care of me" - I've used it, and I know it burns the other person to the core, but so what..they pretty much just showed you, how they feel. As a hole, or a poke, with no emotions left for you.

 

My two pennies.

 

 

 

 

Barky

[lylat333]

I was wondering if anyone else was convinced their ex will come back... starting to wonder if Im losing my marbles or if this is normal? x Im 4 months post BU x

 

I was very convinced she would come back, but not anymore after 4+ months post-BU. Since our last phone call in late July I have not heard a single solitary peep from her.

 

I'm not sure a person has much control over whether or not they believe they will ever hear from their ex. But for those who've held out hope, eventually a point comes where you can't keep hoping anymore, and an emotional shift takes place.

 

OP, I think it's normal to feel the way you do. Most people want to believe their ex made a mistake by leaving or breaking up with them and will come back if you don't understand why they threw the relationship away.

 

Do I still desire to hear from my ex? The answer may always be "yes". Will I? I don't think so. Why? I have no idea. Either she is happy without me or maybe she is too prideful to come back. I don't care about finding out. If she did come back she would be very vulnerable... since she left she has never given me any reason to believe she regret it for a moment. I did my part to try and reconcile, there was zero reciprocation, so I blocked her out of my life and that's the way it's going to stay as far as I'm concerned. I will say I bet she expected to hear more from me and I wouldn't be surprised if she thinks I will eventually reach out, but at some point she'll realize I'm not going to. She really messed me up, and as much as I wish things would have ended differently or wonder about the truth I won't risk putting myself out there again.

[organizedchaos]

I was very convinced she would come back, but not anymore after 4+ months post-BU. Since our last phone call in late July I have not heard a single solitary peep from her.

 

I'm not sure a person has much control over whether or not they believe they will ever hear from their ex. But for those who've held out hope, eventually a point comes where you can't keep hoping anymore, and an emotional shift takes place.

 

OP, I think it's normal to feel the way you do. Most people want to believe their ex made a mistake by leaving or breaking up with them and will come back if you don't understand why they threw the relationship away.

 

Do I still desire to hear from my ex? The answer may always be "yes". Will I? I don't think so. Why? I have no idea. Either she is happy without me or maybe she is too prideful to come back. I don't care about finding out. If she did come back she would be very vulnerable... since she left she has never given me any reason to believe she regret it for a moment. I did my part to try and reconcile, there was zero reciprocation, so I blocked her out of my life and that's the way it's going to stay as far as I'm concerned. I will say I bet she expected to hear more from me and I wouldn't be surprised if she thinks I will eventually reach out, but at some point she'll realize I'm not going to. She really messed me up, and as much as I wish things would have ended differently or wonder about the truth I won't risk putting myself out there again.

 

Pretty much summed up my intubation and mentality as well. Same timeframe too. I'm in the same place as you man.

[Sparky9]

I honestly think mine will never come back. I realistically don't deserve another chance for what I did. I just hope she finds someone that she can be happy with, and is good with the kids.

[lylat333]

Pretty much summed up my intubation and mentality as well. Same timeframe too. I'm in the same place as you man.

 

Sorry to hear. btw the NC guide linked in your signature is what turned my whole way of thinking upside down shortly after the breakup. I owe it, the support of people on this site, and a counselor I saw a handful of times so much for helping me get through the worst of times. It's nice to know others are dealing with similar issues and we all support each other.

 

I started NC hoping to get my ex to come back, it didn't work... but I finally understood what it was all about. Even if I never hear from her it doesn't mean I made the wrong decision. I stick w/ NC because it's best for me, which is more important than what might put us back in touch or resorting to desperate measures.