Vogeltron Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 I live on west coast state that starts with a C. In an area that does not exactly meet up with my values etc. It is also a very expensive place to live compared to the rest of the country. Mid 20's never sent a txt message in my life. I even hate the fact I even have a cell phone. I refuse to do Facebook or online dating, etc. Honestly, I think those kinda of people are complete losers. Even though I am posting on a site about relationships and what not. Lol, so keep that in mind I guess. I have to give credit partially to my grandparents for helping instill the values in me. But when going somewhere I always man the door for anyone walking in. When in a situation I always give up my seat for any woman or old timer that comes through. Always put on a good face and ask people how they are doing etc. Even if I am having a terrible day I always try to keep it upbeat and not ruin anyone else. I refuse to get rid of my car, which my previous GF though was embarrassing. It is about 10 years old well over 170k on it but I have put so many miles on it and done all the work to it myself. Even though it is slowly becoming a beater with the paint peeling etc. I can't get rid of it. Even though I could get a newer one. For me at-least if something has been good to me I refuse to get rid of it. Especially when I know all the history. But as much as I hate technology I have a partial online business where I liquidate merchandise. After college sticking with the business I started was my best option. Some years are better than others. I do live with my parents still in my mid 20's. Whom I love to death and am kinda thankful I have had a few years at home like this because I have got to know them much differently in my adult life than before. Even as much as the other part of me thinks living at home is loser status. I do pay rent and run my business out of the room I rent and use much of the garage I rent for storing merchandise. But none the less I have well over 6 figures in savings and investments. Zero debt. Been contemplating my next moves. Working toward grad school etc. Just curious how women give the info I have provided would view someone like this? I have no doubt about myself personally. I do feel a bit odd about where I stand at the moment. Thank you to anyone who responds. You can be absolutely as critical as you want. I always appreciate the different opinions and always prefer people who speak what they think rather than try to say what they think people want to hear. Anyways, thank you all very much. I just want honest opinions any way they go.
Emilia Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 Your post talks to me of rigidity and fear of change. That would turn me off. 1
Author Vogeltron Posted December 2, 2013 Author Posted December 2, 2013 Your post talks to me of rigidity and fear of change. That would turn me off. I appreciate the honesty and your perspective. I don't see a fear of change personally. As much as a I see lack of the traditional values left in this country especially where I live. But I really do appreciate the post. Elaborate as much as you please. I hold nothing against anyone.
MalachiX Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 I appreciate the honesty and your perspective. I don't see a fear of change personally. As much as a I see lack of the traditional values left in this country especially where I live. But I really do appreciate the post. Elaborate as much as you please. I hold nothing against anyone. I'm a guy so maybe i'm not the right person to give advice. That said, your post seems like it would scare off a lot of women. You seem to have a chip on your shoulder. It's fine to be proud of who you are but you seem to be judging the rest of the world for not being in line with your values and that's not gonna play well with most women. I live in California too. There are all type of people out here and most don't like to feel judged. I don't think someone is lacking in values because they use facebook or text people. Also, while I think it's great you give up your seat to women and old timers, I think most girls probably care more about you excepting them for who they are more than they do about your notions of chivalry. 1
Author Vogeltron Posted December 2, 2013 Author Posted December 2, 2013 I'm a guy so maybe i'm not the right person to give advice. That said, your post seems like it would scare off a lot of women. You seem to have a chip on your shoulder. It's fine to be proud of who you are but you seem to be judging the rest of the world for not being in line with your values and that's not gonna play well with most women. I live in California too. There are all type of people out here and most don't like to feel judged. I don't think someone is lacking in values because they use facebook or text people. Also, while I think it's great you give up your seat to women and old timers, I think most girls probably care more about you excepting them for who they are more than they do about your notions of chivalry. Thank you very much for the post and the perspective. You may very well be right. As much as I have felt I have been judged in the past myself maybe I have gone rouge and done the exact same thing to and extreme. I appreciate you pointing that out.
d0nnivain Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 As they say, there is a lid for every pot. Some of it I think you simply spin more positively. Instead of leading with you hate technology, explain that you view technology as a tool but you don't care for it as part of your relationships -- no FB etc. You prefer real life interactions to social media. You are more people focused. It will help you to shine through rather than just a bunch of negativity. Since you have an on-line business & you're on this forum, it's a bit hypocritical to say you hate technology & the hypocracy is huge turn off. California is the land of the car & it's not really known for traditional values. It's wonderful that you have those things but in terms of finding a LTR you may be looking in the wrong place. You may be happier in a lowe cost of living area where people think more like you.
Delilah1623 Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 You seem condescending, judgemental and arrogant.
Emilia Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 I appreciate the honesty and your perspective. I don't see a fear of change personally. As much as a I see lack of the traditional values left in this country especially where I live. But I really do appreciate the post. Elaborate as much as you please. I hold nothing against anyone. Examples of fear of change Car: " Even though it is slowly becoming a beater with the paint peeling etc. I can't get rid of it. Even though I could get a newer one. For me at-least if something has been good to me I refuse to get rid of it. Especially when I know all the history." Living arrangements: " I do pay rent and run my business out of the room I rent and use much of the garage I rent for storing merchandise. But none the less I have well over 6 figures in savings and investments. Zero debt. Been contemplating my next moves. Working toward grad school etc." It's not whether you are spending tons on a new car or some flash new place. It's the fact that you have the means but you stick with what you know. I don't know whether it's the same deal with technology but it certainly seems to fall along those lines. You are happy with the status quo even though you seem to have the means to improve on it. That's fear of change (and rigidity).
PinkInTheLimo Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 I live on west coast state that starts with a C. In an area that does not exactly meet up with my values etc. It is also a very expensive place to live compared to the rest of the country. Mid 20's never sent a txt message in my life. I even hate the fact I even have a cell phone. I refuse to do Facebook or online dating, etc. Honestly, I think those kinda of people are complete losers. Even though I am posting on a site about relationships and what not. Lol, so keep that in mind I guess. I have to give credit partially to my grandparents for helping instill the values in me. But when going somewhere I always man the door for anyone walking in. When in a situation I always give up my seat for any woman or old timer that comes through. Always put on a good face and ask people how they are doing etc. Even if I am having a terrible day I always try to keep it upbeat and not ruin anyone else. I refuse to get rid of my car, which my previous GF though was embarrassing. It is about 10 years old well over 170k on it but I have put so many miles on it and done all the work to it myself. Even though it is slowly becoming a beater with the paint peeling etc. I can't get rid of it. Even though I could get a newer one. For me at-least if something has been good to me I refuse to get rid of it. Especially when I know all the history. But as much as I hate technology I have a partial online business where I liquidate merchandise. After college sticking with the business I started was my best option. Some years are better than others. I do live with my parents still in my mid 20's. Whom I love to death and am kinda thankful I have had a few years at home like this because I have got to know them much differently in my adult life than before. Even as much as the other part of me thinks living at home is loser status. I do pay rent and run my business out of the room I rent and use much of the garage I rent for storing merchandise. But none the less I have well over 6 figures in savings and investments. Zero debt. Been contemplating my next moves. Working toward grad school etc. Just curious how women give the info I have provided would view someone like this? I have no doubt about myself personally. I do feel a bit odd about where I stand at the moment. Thank you to anyone who responds. You can be absolutely as critical as you want. I always appreciate the different opinions and always prefer people who speak what they think rather than try to say what they think people want to hear. Anyways, thank you all very much. I just want honest opinions any way they go. I am 49 so you are not really in my market niche. Nevertheless I think that back when I was in my twenties I certainly would not have rejected you because you lived with your parents, had an old car, or was not on Facebook (did not exist then anyway, nor mobile phones - nevertheless I feel that back then we actually communicated with each other ). You sound like a man with a plan, now that is attractive! Attraction then and now has more to do with other things like: - Do you have good personal hygiene - Can you - apart from the fact that you have a good relationship with your parents - take your own decisions without letting them influence you - Do you like music - Do you like travelling - Etc... In other words, the question is whether I and the guy can have a good life, where we enjoy each other and all the good things life has to offer, and have each other's back when things are difficult.
RedRobin Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 I tend to gravitate towards those who can sort through the things that media and culture tell us are important... and decide for themselves what they want to adopt or not adopt rather than blindly following what others do. If you can explain in a positive way how you've come to your chosen lifestyle, goals, and values, I'd think that would be very attractive to someone who does the same. It's a critical feature of self-awareness... That's an important quality to me. Also makes it easier for you to find someone who either believes as you do, or at least can understand and accept your choices. Which is probably one of the hardest things to do when looking for a partner. Just keep in mind that situations and life changes... adaptability and flexibility are important life skills too.
Versacehottie Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 Ok, I think someone above said the same thing. To make yourself more attractive, focus on talking about what you DO like not what you hate and don't like. That's a big buzzkill. Also in your 20's is young to be so jaded and a hate place. That's the first thing I would work on. Get some hobbies and friends that you enjoy so you will have those things to bond with people, including potential girls you want to date. Be open. Someone doesn't have to be exactly like you or share your exact views to be attractive to you. In your case, I think someone that with different views could expand your horizons and open your heart. Probably just a fact that someone around your age is going to be into the things you say you hate. That said, somewhere there will be a girl whose views line up a little more with your own. That's why I said the hobbies thing--if you do hobbies that are of interest to you, you will end up with a greater chance of meeting people who are more similarly like-minded. Somehow hiking, kayaking those sort of things come to mind of the top of my head. When i think of the type of girls (and guys) that would be into those sorts of things, I don't feel like they would be super materialistic, instagram-crazy, superficial sort of people. You get the idea. Also work on seeing people as more multi-dimensional. Most of us are! I don't think that living with your parents is a bad thing at this point but given how much you have in the bank and that you should be growing yourself, spreading your wings etc, a plan to move out is more attractive. A plan that you act on in the short term. Same with the car. (you could keep the old one as a hobby type of thing but get a nicer car; it's just evolution if you can afford-don't worry you are not selling out!). Otherwise you just look like a miser--also not attractive. The comments about rigidity and fear of change apply here. I like that you sound like you have manners with old people and I like that you appreciate your parents; you also sound responsible. I'm guessing you need to work on your social graces though. There's is no way that much negativity does not come seeping out into a conversation. I find it the most sadly ironic thing that people who hate certain types of people, places, the changing ways of the world and pass judgement about such are in effect just another version of the shallowness they claim to hate. Find ways to inject fun into your life. Work on finding things you love. Until you do that, you will not find happiness. It starts with you.
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