I read my MM's wife's recent letters to him about their relationship!

January 2, 2005

I agree it's her problem if she wants to stay in her M even if her H is having an A w/ you. She can choose to leave or stay, BUT you have no right to be involved in her choosing. You are involved in her choosing to leave or stay b/c YOU are the one that is having the A w/ her H. If you weren't she wouldn't have to choose to end her M or not. And yes, if he wasn't screwing you he would be screwing someone else is true, however, why be the one? You both are making this hard on her. Shame on both of you. And honestly, I can't believe she stays and puts up w/ his screwing around, but I am not the one living her life. She has to be the one to choose what she wants to do. She married this guy for better for worse and maybe that is why she is staying. I don't know. All I know is you are going to get hurt in the end and one day we will be reading a post how he treated you like crap, dumped you, or is screwing around w/ yet another woman and how traumatized you are from it. You probably wont care if he was screwing another woman, you, and his W b/c of the "great sex." This is not going to have a happy ending for you. I see so many post from OW and how unhappy they are. I wouldn't want to be in their shoes.

January 2, 2005

Originally posted by Patiently waiting
Yep, you are right. I don't care about her and what she wants. Not anymore! I'm looking out for myself and my needs now.

As if there was ever a point in which you weren't?

Does anyone else see a point to this thread any longer? Let the ignorant stay ignorant. We're just going to see some weepy thread from her again in the future. Yawn.

January 2, 2005

Hang on here-so PW is now bipolar? Did I just read through 5 pages of someone's mental dismemberment?

Sigh.

January 2, 2005

Originally posted by Grinning Maniac
Does anyone else see a point to this thread any longer?

January 2, 2005

@Spock: I wouldn't discount it. It seems stepdaddy screwed her marbles up and then some...

If you read through both of those threads all the way, it's insane. It's like an internet Cybil. Love, hate, hate, 3some, hate, love. Whatever. The hilarious part is the idea that she thinks everything is "all better". Both of those threads aren't even two months old. Yeah....she's real stable. Christ.

I'm not usually a betting man... but since it's useless to give advice to someone who doesn't care, and I hardly find the idea to be degrading at this point, we should start a LS betting pool on how long it takes before PW gets into more chaos and downward spirals again. Say, we go five bucks a head and everyone PM's me their bet. Closest date collects.

Losers can pay up through PayPal or something of that nature.

January 2, 2005

Originally posted by Mr Spock
Hang on here-so PW is now bipolar? Did I just read through 5 pages of someone's mental dismemberment?

Sigh.

isn't that kinda insulting to bi-polar people?

January 2, 2005

GM-states she joined in Nov I wasn't terribly active on LS for my own reasons....her thread here does read kind of weird, at least to me.

LFP-wasn't intended to be....

January 2, 2005

i'm sure you didn't mean to be insulting. it's just a lot of people that are bi-polar (and i've got lots of bi-polar family members - who knows maybe i am) get a bum rap.

January 2, 2005

@Spock: Ha. I completely missed her reg. date. Doesn't really matter though. The fact that all of that happened within a couple of months says a lot.

So, any takers on that pool? I was being 100% serious.

January 2, 2005

Originally posted by littleflowerpot
i'm sure you didn't mean to be insulting. it's just a lot of people that are bi-polar (and i've got lots of bi-polar family members - who knows maybe i am) get a bum rap.

She's not getting a bum rap because she's bipolar...she's getting a bum rap for her "manic" posts. I read several people mention it earlier on in the thread, and was simply asking if she had confirmed with anyone if she WAS manic/depressive.

January 2, 2005

I have to apologize if anyone thinks I was slamming people with bipolar disease. It's a terrible burden to those suffering from it when left untreated, It creates havoc not only in the life of the person who has it, but for the ones who love them as well.

It responds well to treatment though in most cases, so that's good news. And many bipolar people live perfectly normal lives.

I'm not a doctor. I work in family practice, so I see a little bit of everything. But I couldn't diagnose anybody.....wouldn't want to. But based on PW's posts, I think she needs to rule out emotional problems before she can find any degree of normalcy in her life.

I don't come in here p*ssing with OWs about their lifestyle choices. I'm not going to change their philosophy; they aren't going to change mine. Being an OW doesn't necessarily mean that a person has emotional problems that require treatment. Engaging in behaviors that are self-destructive or destructive to others......well, that's another story.

I think that PW, is hurting herself. I think maybe that will eventually slop over onto her family. I hope not, but better to be safe than sorry. What could possibly be lost in visiting a doctor, and letting him/her decide?

January 2, 2005

Ha, Ha! you people are all so funny! And I must ask, being so perfect that you are....what are you doing here instead of out having normal healthy relationships with your loved ones????

You are the ones that are messed up, judging me the the way you do! F*ck you all......I'm done with you and your crappy site!

January 2, 2005

Originally posted by Patiently waiting
And I must ask, being so perfect that you are....what are you doing here instead of out having normal healthy relationships with your loved ones????

I'm balancing both just fine so far. Thanks for your concern.

PS: Does this mean the pool is out of the question?

January 2, 2005

I'm still too busy having illicit dysfunctional relationships to bother with "loved ones"

I don't judge you that you're having a relationship with a MM-you just sound VERY strange on this thread is all. Strange like padded room strange, and there is some genuine concern for your well being. So what gives?

January 2, 2005

Ha, Ha! you people are all so funny! And I must ask, being so perfect that you are....what are you doing here instead of out having normal healthy relationships with your loved ones????

You are the ones that are messed up, judging me the the way you do! F*ck you all......I'm done with you and your crappy site!

Happy New Year!!

January 2, 2005

Originally posted by Grinning Maniac
I'm not usually a betting man... but since it's useless to give advice to someone who doesn't care, and I hardly find the idea to be degrading at this point, we should start a LS betting pool on how long it takes before PW gets into more chaos and downward spirals again. Say, we go five bucks a head and everyone PM's me their bet. Closest date collects.

Losers can pay up through PayPal or something of that nature.

Downward spirals "again"??

I'll take that bet! January 2nd.

January 2, 2005

Say, we go five bucks a head and everyone PM's me their bet

Sssshh...she's not supposed to know who's betting what.

It potentially rigs the game.

Might be a moot point if PW never makes updates again, but hey...either way works for me.

January 2, 2005

Originally posted by Patiently waiting

First of all, who's Tim? Also, when did I say that I can't get rid of him in my heart? Was this an old post? No fair going backwards if it is. You gotta keep up with the recent posts, they show my progression from what I felt before. I'm just leasing him now, no option to buy!

If I tell her everything, what will that accomplish? In the end, it will be the kids that suffer. He will hate me for telling her, she will hate me for actually making her face it. My gf recently got e-mails from her H's affair, she says she wishes she (the OW) would have kept it to herself. Now my gf has to deal with her husband cheating on her openly. She won't leave him, he won't leave the OW or her, at least when she didn't know it didn't bother her. Some people are just that way. If they don't see or hear any evil, to them it does not exist!

What I think is that you nor your MM nor your friend understand the concept of marriage. Marriage doesn't include cheating and lying which is what is going on here. The wife needs to know that she is being cheated on whether or not she likes it or not. If she doesn't want to deal with it then she needs to open her eyes and see that she is better than that.

Is seems that no one respects each other. If your MM respected his wife he would not be cheating on her. She needs to know she will never have the marriage she deserves!

January 2, 2005

Oh well...I bet it won't be long before this thread gets noticed and then 'disappears' from LS all together, so even if PW comes back her thread will be gone anyway.

January 2, 2005

Originally posted by Grinning Maniac

Sssshh...she's not supposed to know who's betting what.

It potentially rigs the game.

Might be a moot point if PW never makes updates again, but hey...either way works for me.

Oh, whops! I guess if she wanted to win she'd just lose it tomorrow, eh?

January 2, 2005

Of all the shocking things I have read on this forum, the utter hypocrisy of these statements have left me in total disbelief. I can't even help myself to want to step in to defend PW…even against my own better judgment.

Spock replies:

I don't judge you that you're having a relationship with a MM-you just sound VERY strange on this thread is all. Strange like padded room strange, and there is some genuine concern for your well being. So what gives?

I think if you go back and read your own manic threads Spock, you will see a very similar pattern to PW's. The attitudes you project are very much the same. They are shocking…well, at least to me…but than I am only one of the many readers. The only difference I see between you and PW is you seem angrier in expressing your adopted attitude of indifference. I even thought for a second that PW might be trying to immolate you. Or at least adopting your "I-don't-give-a-sh*t-I'm-In-it-for-the-sex" attitude ... because at the very least it DOES get attention and prompts people to respond.

And KMT…I can't believe it!

Plenty of us on here are OW, and yet while we're told we're being far from wise in our decisions to maintain the relationship and further cause ourselves more pain (including myself), others don't insinuate that we are a little...crazy. This is not so true when it comes to you.

…Downward spirals "again"??
I'll take that bet! January 2nd.

…Oh, whops! I guess if she wanted to win she'd just lose it tomorrow, eh?

I've seen the same highs and lows in your story as well, KMT. One minute you're angry at your married man, and then you can't live without him. You're leaving - you're staying. You're telling the wife - you're not telling the wife. I secretly bet on the fact that the December incident (medical issue) wouldn't be enough to get you to end your own self-destructive behavior. Your addiction has total control over you. But I would never have posted an open forum "bet" even if I knew I would win. Instead, I kept my fingers crossed for you…hoping beyond hope…that you would reach your defining moment and break free. I was genuinely heartbroken for you when I realized I was correct in my predictions.

Then Sinner, who is no stranger to the betrayal involved in extramarital affairs responds:

The most pernicious aspect to the affair is not the sexual betrayal--it's the emotional betrayal as the wife becomes a mere "other" or outsider in her own marriage --a straight man for the MM/OW comedic duo. The wife becomes a "joke" --a third class citizen in her own marriage. Her feelings, her sincere desire to save her marriage become mere affair fodder to further bind the OW to her MM.

It's one thing to betray a spouse, quite another to humiliate her.

Is there some kind of 'honor' among cheaters? Some secret code of ethics that separates good cheaters from bad cheaters? - Emotionally well-adjusted adulterers from the insane and crazy ones? And just how does one separate the act of betrayal from the humiliation it brings to the unwary spouse and family? Being a better liar? - Being sneaky enough to cover your tracks and remain undetected?

I may be totally off in my perspective, but what I see here is a cluster f*ck of denial and externalization on EVERYONE'S part. People saying: "I may be doing that, but I'm a better person than you because at least I'm not doing THAT."

I don't know. Maybe everyone here is mentally stable and emotionally well-adjusted and I'm the one that's completely nuts?? As humans, I suppose we all need to believe that we're somehow sane and it's the rest of the world that's off their rockers.

Sorry for changing the direction of your thread PW. Promise - It's the last time I'll post. I already recognize the futility.

January 2, 2005

Nicely put!

January 2, 2005

Manic my ass Enigma. 99 percent of the time when I post I'm calm. Cool as a cucumber. That may be hard for you to accept but that's reality.

Do you think that I'm being hypocritical because I'm not banding together with PW? This isn't some special kind of club-I have more understanding of the position people who fall in love with unavailable men are in but it doesn't mean I have to defend someone else's POV to justify my own. If I think she's full of sh*t it doesn't mean I am just because we both happen to be humping someone else's spouse/BF.

Yeah, I know what he is.....but to look at him.....you wouldn't believe or want to believe it. He's def. eye candy. But also extremely intelligent and also very supportive to me. Aside from his lack of morals, I really do believe he has some attributes. He has helped me see that I have personal and professional potential beyond what I imagined. He's my motivator.....he really does want the best for me even if it means leaving him. That's the unselfish part about him, but it's a part I think I only know.

But now that I understand where he stands, I'm not going for the gold ring anymore. I approach our relationship as just a good friendship with some added benefits. I was expending waaaay too much energy on something that was a lost cause. Yeah, I still have my jealous of the wife moments, but logically I know that is ridiculous for me to feel that way. He belongs to her, not me. I'm just leasing him.

Like I said, I don't take him seriously anymore as a possible perm. relationship. I understand he is not worth the effort or the energy in that way. Aside from his shortcomings, he is very supportive, and encourages and motivates me to become the best person I can be personally and professionally. He is my friend. We just have the added benefit of being very sexually compatible as well. I know he is not the most moral person in the world, but I have no real vested interest in him anymore so I don't concern myself with that part of him. He gives me what I need right now and vice versa

Sorry ladies......I've given up "taking it like a woman"......now I'm "gettin' it like a man"!

Who says we can't play their game???!!! Not I !!!!

I'm the one keepin' my pimp hand strong now!!!

I am the only girl he is "involved" with, well besides his W of course. He has 2 other friends that he has had sexual type involvement with. One he had a 1 night stand with sexually, (met her at a start your own small business seminar) now they talk about business stuff occasionally and HER cheating husband. They meet on very rare occasion for lunch, like once a year. The other girl lives 3,000 miles away, is also married (apparantly to a real bastard, broke her arm once!). He has NEVER met her in person, only internet and phone sex quite a few years ago. They now maintain a casual e-mail friendship with communication every so often. Over the years, but not in the last 7 or so, he has had a few other one or two nighters, (convention related) and a one weeker when he was on a diving trip. She actually came out here to visit, stayed in a hotel. He saw her a couple times during her stay, but then she left and that was that. He is not friends with any of those women.

Enigma, things have changed. I have come to a place now where I am no longer desperate for the love and attention I used to feel was the only thing that made it all worth while. As you know, I have only been out of my marriage for about 7 months, so my take on life was still quite messed up in the beginning. I am finally getting my self back on track and focusing on the real important things. My career (new job), my children, and myself. All my past posts have helped me to get to this point. But I am no longer in that state of mind. Thank you for your concerrn.

All this SCREAMS of a woman who's finally discovered that he's just not that into her-she's devaluing her emotions and feelings on the matter into pure sexual drive. It's going to come crashing down on her some day. What better way to stop the hurt than to pretend you never REALLY cared? That you're super cool with your booty call boyfriend who's not available even though you want him to be?

Denial only works for so long. PW is headed for a meltdown.

January 2, 2005

All this SCREAMS of a woman who's finally discovered that he's just not that into her-she's devaluing her emotions and feelings on the matter into pure sexual drive. It's going to come crashing down on her some day. What better way to stop the hurt than to pretend you never REALLY cared? That you're super cool with your booty call boyfriend who's not available even though you want him to be?

Denial only works for so long. PW is headed for a meltdown.

I agree totally and the more she convinces herself and mentally prepares for it all to end the better off she will be. Just hope she really truely believes what she is writing down here as when it DOES end she will have to have some serious therapy for quite a while.

It is sad either way.

January 2, 2005

She should be in therapy ALREADY.

@enigma: Glad I wasn't the only one who found it kind of ironic. In my opinion, NO ONE really has squat on PW right now in the nutjob department, but I have to admit I've been laughing to myself when KMT has been telling off people involved in affairs lately. Especially when she told that one BW to scratch the OW's eyes out and "fight for her man" HAHAHA...What the heck?

Everyone has the right to look at a situation and say "Wow...that's not smart.", but when certain people do it it's pretty funny. It's not so much hypocrisy as just really ironic.

In any case, yeah...PW is going to nuke out big time. She can think we're all nuts if she wants to. But if a big group of people(a number of whom have done the same thing) told ME something I was doing was stupid and thought I was a little....f*cked up, I think I might pay attention. As I said before, it's like walking into a "Cleaning Product Guzzler's Recovery Center" and shouting out:

"GEE... I SURE HAVE A TASTE FOR A BIG FROSTY MUG OF PINE-SOL!!!!"

Then suddenly getting tackled by a bunch of people concerned for you, but kicking out of the grapple, telling everyone hooked up to the IV's that they're all judgemental pussies who don't know anything about the situation, and that you bet cleaning products are f*cking DELICIOUS, then going home and fixing yourself a nice Drain-O smoothie.

Good luck....

Silly tart.

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