Dox Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 I've been together with my gf for only two weeks shes 17 and im 20. I promised myself that I wouldn't ask her about her sexual past but earlier today I did and I regret it so much. I knew she had a boyfriend for 2 years before me and I thought she lost her V to him and that was fine with me. But I found out that she lost it to another guy when she was 15 and had another afterwards. I was shocked by this, when she told me I kind of just ignored her for about an hour did my own thing and then dropped her off home without talking in the car. She obviously knew something was wrong because she texted and called me 20 times and I just ignored her. I know this is silly and past is the past but I cant help the way I feel, I thought she was a good innocent girl and that's why I fell for her. But now my opinion towards her has change, she wasn't who I thought she was. This has always been a problem for me, its the same with my past relationships but each one was only with one guy before me and that was fine. Right now I just feel like like ending it. Is it stupid to dump someone because of her past?
RedRobin Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 How many people have you slept with or dated? It's hypocritical to hold others to a higher standard than you hold for yourself. 4
Vogeltron Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 I hate to put this in context. But you are 20 dating a girl that is not of age in most states? 2 weeks isn't anything. That is a blip on the map. If you feel uncomfortable break up with her. You have to understand that the difference between H.S and College age 17-20 is huge. Those 5-7 years from 16-22/23 are usually the biggest changes anyone will come across.
elbe Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 Just imagine what dating in your 40s will be like if you can't get over this now. Trust me those women have had many more partners than your current girlfriend. Do yourself a favor and get over yourself. Girls always have more partners than guys.
Ninjainpajamas Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 Don't do it, don't do it! ah you did it! Damn you Dox, have you learned nothing? Look past isn't the past, that's just something guilty people say...you may not realize it now but anything below 5 is essentially a virgin in 2013...that's as close as you're going to get to one...even if she's 17 as you can see. Now your history with sex is probably not the greatest but if you're worried about settling down with a "whore" then you might want to dirty your record yourself a little bit so you can fit in, look on the bright side no matter how bad you are, in like 5 years you can just say the past is the past and nobody would even care! isn't that great?....in 10 years everyone's number could be sky high, the chances of you even knowing the real number is minimal and you also have to include threesomes, gang-bangs, married men, lesbian experiences and much much more! So comparatively, you're still in the "green" zone of good. But just do what you feel like doing, don't do the whole forcing yourself thing, I know you like her and I know you thought she was innocent but you'll learn not to judge a book by it's cover, because you definitely can't tell who's a good girl or bad girl by how sweet and innocent they are....boy do you have a lot to learn about women.
Author Dox Posted December 2, 2013 Author Posted December 2, 2013 (edited) I've had 2 before her and each one have only had 1 before me. I just think 4 at her age is too much. I'm trying to look past this but I can't, easier said than done. I think we just broke up anyway. I've accepted the fact that this will always be a problem and until I find that girl that is right for me, I will remain single. Don't worry I've learnt my lesson. I will never bring up this topic in the future. Edited December 2, 2013 by Dox
Imported Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 OP, I use to have lots of trouble with this too. Maybe I still do. I eventually decided to just not ask. Seriously, you can go insane thinking about it. However, if her past has a habit of making itself known, well....I do hold it against her. 'If I can't even walk to my car in the parkinglot without bumping into a dude she gave a blowjob to...' Parking lot/restroom/"VIP"/dark booth at a club + blowjob + stranger (or "a friend") = No. How would I even know about this? I know!! That's what I say. But stuff has a habit of being remembered by people you know and those people have a habit of talking. Even your bestie friend forever! But especially the dude that was on the receiving end and his friends. If she keeps on introducing me to dudes that are her "friend" and my spidy senses go off........(I trust my spidy senses!). I use to think girls innocently did this. Now I think it is purposely done to get a rise out of me. Something along the lines of having guys fight over her, but not exactly. I'm not being a hypocrite, I am very descreet and my past stays in the past. I don't keep female "friends" around that I use to **** and try to introduce them to each other like it means nothing. I probably am pretty juvenile with how I think here, but it is actually how I feel. I should really point out though that your girlfriend hasn't done much.
RedRobin Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 I've had 2 before her and each one have only had 1 before me. I just think 4 at her age is too much. I'm trying to look past this but I can't, easier said than done. I think we just broke up anyway. I've accepted the fact that this will always be a problem and until I find that girl that is right for me, I will remain single. Don't worry I've learnt my lesson. I will never bring up this topic in the future. Here's the deal... I never ask questions about things people can easily lie about. Some even have very well crafted smoke screens to avoid the more difficult questions... I just observe their behavior, how they treat others, family and friends. I dumped a guy recently who did his best to leave the impression he was looking for a committed relationship and was a 'good guy'... but damn, if all the people he introduced me to weren't trash talking, classless, gossipy people. These were his 'friends'. His 'history' was written all over the shared experiences and discussions he'd had with his compadres. When they treated me just like one more of his f-buddies is when I walked.... not to mention his other behaviors that started leaking out. I could see he'd had quite the tour of the town... no discretion at all. This is how you sort them out. If you are sincerely looking for someone who has the qualities that make a good LTR, pay attention to those... not the answers someone gives or doesn't give.
CptSaveAho Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 I just observe their behavior, how they treat others, family and friends. I dumped a guy recently who did his best to leave the impression he was looking for a committed relationship and was a 'good guy'... but damn, if all the people he introduced me to weren't trash talking, classless, gossipy people. These were his 'friends'. His 'history' was written all over the shared experiences and discussions he'd had with his compadres. When they treated me just like one more of his f-buddies is when I walked.... not to mention his other behaviors that started leaking out. I could see he'd had quite the tour of the town... no discretion at all. Hi Pot, I'm Kettle. Echante! OPs post and concern is valid, shes going to turn into you if her current trends continue. 4 guys at 17... it only exponentially gets worse in 20s...
KathyM Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 If you believe ignorance is bliss, and you don't think it's important to know how someone has lived their life, or what their standards are for who they have sex with, then don't ask. I think it's important information to know. 2
RedRobin Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 Hi Pot, I'm Kettle. Echante! OPs post and concern is valid, shes going to turn into you if her current trends continue. 4 guys at 17... it only exponentially gets worse in 20s... I have no idea what you are talking about. His friends talked about me like an f-buddy assuming I was... because he obviously had a bad habit of sleeping around. Even though he tried to conceal it... Like so many guys, they aren't used to being judged for their behavior and only believe the woman should be judged. He and I never had sex. Got close once, until his mouth and bad habits got away from him. Oopsie! The OP could afford to take some tips from me, to be honest. Don't sleep with women he doesn't know very well. Unless he just wants to sleep around himself and take chances later on that HE won't be judged for it when/if he finally wants to commit. Is that what you are annoyed about Mr. SaveaHo??? That you can't save yourself?
ThatMan Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 I've had 2 before her and each one have only had 1 before me. I just think 4 at her age is too much. You almost sound like a disappointed predator who really wanted to groom somebody inexperienced. 3
aussietigerwolf Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 oh you're going to have such fun if you decide to start dating girls your own age. 1
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 I hate to put this in context. But you are 20 dating a girl that is not of age in most states? "not of age" ??? Not of age for what???? The unrestricted age of consent in most states is sixteen, and in several more, it is seventeen.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 I've been together with my gf for only two weeks shes 17 and im 20. I promised myself that I wouldn't ask her about her sexual past but earlier today I did and I regret it so much. I knew she had a boyfriend for 2 years before me and I thought she lost her V to him and that was fine with me. But I found out that she lost it to another guy when she was 15 and had another afterwards. I was shocked by this, when she told me I kind of just ignored her for about an hour did my own thing and then dropped her off home without talking in the car. She obviously knew something was wrong because she texted and called me 20 times and I just ignored her. I know this is silly and past is the past but I cant help the way I feel, I thought she was a good innocent girl and that's why I fell for her. But now my opinion towards her has change, she wasn't who I thought she was. This has always been a problem for me, its the same with my past relationships but each one was only with one guy before me and that was fine. Right now I just feel like like ending it. Is it stupid to dump someone because of her past? So wait, lets get this straight... you've had sex with two people, and each of them, in turn, has had sex with one other before you. That means that you have effectively had sex with four people (at least when it comes to trading STD's and the like). Your could-be girlfriend, to our knowledge, might be up to 6 effective sex partners by now, so she leads you 6-to-4, and you are "bothered" by this?? You just need to be reminded that females can have sex whenever they want it... and you generally can't... and this should mean, that you are likely to take a backseat to any woman you're lucky enough to sleep with, in the area of sexual experience.
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