georgieg Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 There's this guy that I've known for a few months (his best friend is one of my best (guy) friends) who just recently moved back to my area. He's recently single, too. We've hung out a handful of times, but always in a group with our mutual friend and others, and he was still with his now-ex-girlfriend (hung out at a bar one night, hung out at a 3-day music festival, and then worked on a creative project together). And I have a strict off-limits policy for guys who are in relationships. So even though we hit it off on all of these occasions and had a great rapport, I never thought much of it. Fast forward to last month and he's suddenly single and moving back to the area (about 45 minutes from where I live, instead of 3+ hours). We've been chatting a bit on Facebook, both privately and in comment threads on posts. So Friday night a friend of mine (who knows I'm interested in him) starts baiting him to see if he'd say nice things about me. She said something about me being awesome, and he said I was his favorite of the 24 flavors. Then she compared me to his favorite childhood movie, and he said I was better. She posted three emoticons: the heart-eyes, a smiley face, and a heart, and he liked it. He liked basically every nice thing she said about me, plus everything I said in the post. Little did I know, she was also private messaging him that evening (she didn't tell me this till later) and he said I was "AMAZING" (in all caps). She also found out that he's totally over his ex, and when she mentioned coming to visit me he kept referring to "us" and "we'll be here" kind of stuff. So today I mentioned that we still need to grab a beer sometime (we were supposed to the last time we saw each other, but everyone ended up bailing early, and this was back when he still had a girlfriend). He was very enthusiastic in saying absolutely (lots of exclamation points), and we finally settled on going to a local bar that has super cheap beer on tap one night a week (budget concerns for both of us). But we didn't really make firm plans, and rather than suggesting we go this week, I just told him to let me know when he wants to go (stupid, I know). But now I'm not sure if us getting together for beer is just as friends, or if it's a date, or if it's like a "hang out and see if we want to date" kind of thing. I think he's interested, it seems like he's interested, but I've made the mistake of thinking a guy was interested before and been burned. So I guess I'm a little gunshy. And I want to be friends with this guy for sure, so I don't want to be too forward and potentially screw that up. But at the same time, I want to make it clear that I am interested in dating him. I spent most of my 20s being married to a guy I met as a teenager, so the whole dating as an adult thing is incredibly confusing to me...
d0nnivain Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 I don't think it's a date yet. If you end the night with a kiss, you can rewrite history but for now just go in cautiously with no real expectations. If the "hanging out" goes well, perhaps a real date will be in the future.
Author georgieg Posted December 2, 2013 Author Posted December 2, 2013 I don't think it's a date yet. If you end the night with a kiss, you can rewrite history but for now just go in cautiously with no real expectations. If the "hanging out" goes well, perhaps a real date will be in the future. That's kind of how I feel about it. It's just a beer. I hope it will lead to actual dates, but at the same time, trying to keep in mind that it may not lead to anything beyond friendship. I guess my biggest point of confusion at the moment is whether all these things he's said signal interest in at least exploring the idea of being more than friends?
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