kymberann Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 I will try and keep this short, however I know some details are essential. I was with a guy that by my own fault I brutally loved, too much. I am sure we were on unequal ground with that. We were together for about two almost three years. Almost two years ago, it was bitter, the break up and crying. He broke up with me. We were just at two different places and I can see that now. About a month ago, after two years of working through the healing, he texted me. Said he missed me, if things could go back to the good times, it would be good. I came at him and said "where is this coming from". He apologized, but I knew my defenses were up and I am still somewhat hurt. I have done a lot of growing over the past two years, dated, of course schmucks! No one of longstanding interest for me. Anyway, we went out to dinner, kept it casual, nothing serious. I felt like he was just checking up on me. Yesterday, we kept talking back and forth. He finally invited me over. And I wanted to go, face my fears, and show he and I that yes, I am changed. It was hard, but at the same time it was wonderful. Kind of like two people meeting up with each other and continuing where we left off. Yes, we had sex, and yes, amazing. maybe the best make up sex or the best start of something good sex, maybe both? We then had the talk. There was crying and "I'm sorries" and time to express so much pain as well as what we learned from the experience. He told me he has so much to work through. Also that when he saw me around town, it brought so much pain. We talked about the past, the pain everything leading up until now. He said he couldn't promise me anything, he wanted to go very slow. Same as I. But I know he is going to test me! I as well. Last week he invited me to watch a movie, I turned him down, said I was busy. He's a great guy and ultimately, I do see him as my life partner. And somehow we ended back to each other, not knowing where it will go. It's scary for both of us. I'm scared but I want to see what it will lead to. We ended just saying and agreeing to work on being friends. I don't know what our chances are, if we will ever see each other again. I think I am ok with that, I am not sure as I know that everyday for the past two years I have thought about him and still missed his presence, as quirky as he is! But I know I would like to try....slowly. I just want to get any advice/opinions or hear other peoples stories of situations like this. What do you all think?
d0nnivain Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 I'm not a big fan of going backwards in your life. Unless you both fixed whatever drove you apart in the 1st place, this won't work. also watch your vocabulary. If you want to be friends why did you have make up sex? If you see him as your future life partner, why are you saying you only want to be friends? Mixed messages won't help anybody at this point 1
elbe Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 I got together and broke up with this one girl over a long period of time. We kept fooling each other into thinking it would be different this time - and it was for about a month. We kept falling back into the same rut because we had a deep clash of personalities. Sometimes when it's actually who you are and not what you did that caused the break up then history is doomed to repeat itself. The fact that you had sex makes me think one or both of you were in a dry spell and looking for the quick and easy. There are too many emotions involved here for a one night stand. People can say anything they want to get sex it's amazing how people act. Then when you cum it's like ohhh back to reality.. 1
Author kymberann Posted December 2, 2013 Author Posted December 2, 2013 I can see that!! Yes sex, either messes it up or adds something to it!. I wasn't having sex with him to get him back. You are right, he did have a dry spell. He told me he hadn't been with anyone sexually since. He said he dated, but they weren't worth the effort. I believe him, he is dogmatic about that! I was honest with nim, told him I had been dating a few, but not worth my effort. he didn't seem shaken by it, but it's the truth. I don't want to fall in to the same rut! That is what I am avoiding at all costs. I want to prove, mostly to myself as well as he that I have moved forward. And since he contacted me, I haven't been doing some of the old stuff. I let him be. I guess I am venting, because 1. I want to keep myself in check and be accountable for my behaviors by telling complete strangers 2. See if I am maybe "over" him. Not sure yet! 1
Solcita2 Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 I'm a little confused... you say you can see him as a life partner but then you ask yourself if you're over him? What caused the break up in the first place? And what did change since then?
conf Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 I dont know every detail of the story but I cant understand why everyone here is so negative about this second chance. If it happened it will be after two years! It's a long time for them solving their issues. 2
me85 Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 I dont know every detail of the story but I cant understand why everyone here is so negative about this second chance. If it happened it will be after two years! It's a long time for them solving their issues. I agree with you. I actually think their relationship has a chance. It comes really close to the fairy tale of being "meant to be." 1
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