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So, I need Help 2 Months NC


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Posted (edited)

First of all, I have had a wonderful relationship with this amazing girl and she had to move away. When she did, things started to get weird and distant. I don't want to break into specifics, but we broke up around September and after that I haven't looked back. I have focused my energy and time into bettering my situation.

 

I was that dumb guy that would do everything for his girl. I would purposely stop myself from seeing other female friends just to save her a headache, I had this illusion of being the "perfect" boyfriend. I know its a very stupid illusion and I didn't realize it until I started really working on myself.

 

Anyway, my birthday is coming up and she randomly messages me saying that she wants to talk to wish me a good birthday and apologize for how everything turned out.

 

Now I don't have any regret; I have been a little over 2 months of NC and I spent a lot of time really working on bettering myself and I didn't really think much of it so I responded and said it would be okay for her to call. She sent another message saying now she wasn't sure if shed still be able to make the call and I haven't bothered responding. Any suggestions?

Edited by Tactical Mind
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Posted

kind of a lost cause with this girl, no?

Posted

Was this girl toxic for you? Was she manipulative? If not, she's probably genuinely wanting to wish you a happy birthday. I don't know what she's like... but go with your gut.

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Posted

I guess it is.

 

I just felt comfortable enough to hold a conversation. She wanted to talk and I didn't see it as much of an issue. I guess what I want to know is if I should make an attempt?

 

I haven't specifically stated our entire relationship but I still do care about her a lot.

Posted

I'm sure a lot of people here would say no, but I really don't know your situation so I can't give you advice. Some questions to ask yourself is would it be worth the heartache to hear her voice again? Do you have any hopes of reuniting? Will this open a can of worms again? Can you handle that?

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Posted (edited)
Was this girl toxic for you? Was she manipulative? If not, she's probably genuinely wanting to wish you a happy birthday. I don't know what she's like... but go with your gut.

 

Thank you! And no she wasn't really manipulative and not a toxic relationship I had with her. We just gradually grew apart. It ended because it got to the point that I was doing 200% effort and she didn't seem to be making the attempt so we decided to break it off. It was a bit mutual. Since then I have had enough time to think and grow from the experience. Just need to know if it would be bad to try having a conversation. Just to get perspective

I'm sure a lot of people here would say no, but I really don't know your situation so I can't give you advice. Some questions to ask yourself is would it be worth the heartache to hear her voice again? Do you have any hopes of reuniting? Will this open a can of worms again? Can you handle that?

 

I am not looking at hopes of reuniting but I don't mind the friendship we had. I feel like I can handle what I might learn, whether or not its something I'd want to hear. I had some of my best times with her and if she's just honestly wanting to wish me a good birthday and try to talk just to catch up, I'd think it'd be worth a shotm Thank you by the way, both of you!

Edited by Tactical Mind
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