He adores me but dont want to give us a try

[chir]

Hi... I am all mixed up in the head.

I need some advises to straighten up my thoughts.

 

I am just out from a painful relationship, toxic and feeling 2nd best.

I finally broke freed.. 2 months ago. After failing and crawling back for sooo many times.

 

I am not particularly looking for a fling or distractions but I know I will

not mind the attention and distractions. And I met him. He is alot younger.5 years.

Witty, playful and good looking in a boyish manner. To others girls

He have a great body because he work out in the gym. But to me

while he is cute and good looking.He is not my type..not the body and looks n definitely not the age!!!

 

We have the same platform on certain things so we bump into each other ALOT.

I did not really notice him until one fine day..we all went clubbing together after a function.

 

We are all high and he kissed me. Knowing he is not my type..therefore he will not hurt me

because I will not fall for him.

 

After the kiss, we flirt occasionally and just talk more. And he make his presence at another

[NTRDR]

Well it does seem you've got some sorting out to do, for yourself.

 

You say you're not looking for a distraction or a fling, but that's exactly what you're describing what the two of you will be entering into if you take it further. Nothing wrong with that, just don't tell yourself otherwise. Call a cat a cat

[chir]

He made his presence at another clubbing session even though he is the only man.

I knew he came for me. I was contemplating a fling with hin because he is 'safe' not my type,

a player (definitely not my type!!) he is good lookin, fun .And mostly, I missed the

intimacy.

 

So when he came I decided to just go with the flow if it happens I will just have a fling.

I gotten a bit drunk and he asked and bring me to a nice hotel.

After I washed and sober up, we kissed n kissed n kisseed.

We are fully clothed throughout the night. And then the shocker, he is a virgin and intends

to keep this way( he is 29!!!). He is playful but not a player. He knows what he wants.

He is mature and really have his principles.

 

We started to really communicate and know each other after that.

We chats into the wee hours of the night. But still I keep my distance, play hard to get

At times because I know he really do likes me..not for sex but for who I am

To him I am the witty smart pretty one. And he has always been popular with the girls, he had a few experiences of girls coming to his house n wanting to sleep over.

And all rejected by himself. He is always the one in control.

But with me, he is shy when he sees me now that he knows me better

and he adores me..

 

I asked him out to an amusement park I wanted to go. And we had fun, throughout I was playing hard to get though I knew he is trying to hold my hands.

Eventually we kissed and held hands. And he asked to spend the night together

and I said yes.

 

We spend the night tog.. kissed hugged. . While not fully clothed this time we still didnt have sex.

[chir]

The intimacy is crazy though. We talk n talk for 31 hours straight since the amusement park.

Throughout the night. We were in each other arms, , laughing, kissing, debating and keep trying to sleep and power napped for 5mins n then we are awake again.

 

We spoke finally before going home. I was ready to walk out of this because I was confused

And overwhelmed. I like him alot. .but still know he is not my type..

The kissing is not the greatest and I find myself thinking of my toxic ex while in the room with him. This is not a fling while I can have the physical pleasure and dont need deal with emotions. And the biggest problem to me is. I knoe he is in a long dist relationship. And I thought she is the one who is preventing him frm wanting to be with me. As in a real relationship.

 

I know I am selfish here. While Im not sure whether I will like him enough to be in a real

Relationship. .but I wanted him to. Because I can see that he is so attached to me

He adores me.

It ends up, he already broken up with her months ago.

But still he dont wants to give us a try. He know we are not a good match.

I can predict what he is thinking,I am smarter than him.

[chir]

He desribes us as superman and kryotonite. He cannot be with kryptonite even though I am the no.1 gal in his heart. He have to be with someone for him to be the man in control.

I thought him I wanted to be with someone to be in control to.

For me the biggest obstacles is I thought he is attached and I will not put myself

In a situation where I am the hidden woman anymore.

 

Now this is cleared and he really intrigue me by his maturity and he really so into me.

I told him either we have a go and try or we take a step back. Because I do not like ambiguously. He said for now is a no go. He cnt match up with me. We can be happy for 3 months and then we will be unhappy n arguing. He knew this due to a v painful relationship with someone like me before.

 

 

So now here I am. Totally confused. .do I really like him or I want him more

Becausw he rejected me. He said he will b very hurt if I choose to take a step back.

To him whichever way we go.. whether to go with the flow and still contact or stop contact it will be upsetting for him . Because we dont have a future together.

For him he will enjoy it while it last since he already step into it because he can't hold back.

 

What should I do. Im confused, , upset .. he told me..I can always contact him anytime

He is at my disposal. And keep saying such a smart girl like me will be alright v soon after I told him I can't deal with my emotions with all these with him

 

He is mind playing me!!!!!!

 

 

 

I am so confused!!! Help

[chir]

@NTRDR .. I meant I am not particularly looking for a fling. But I do not mind if I met someone. Thanks for your reply. Now that I finish the silly long tale. Hope u can give me sone advise.i am at a loss