kidinfo1 Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 Hi, Ive been posting about this breakup for a few months now, and while I was still very upset about it, I was getting a lot better (following advice given here). Now, just this past weekend I get a random text from my ex who I havent spoken to at all since the breakup (aside from a random time at a gas station but it was a 2 second convo then I bailed), saying "Do you think we will ever be friends again?" After debating on if I should text her back I decided to go ahead with it (very bad idea) and I told her no, because of how bad she hurt me. Eventually one thing lead to another and I wind up at her house (again awful idea). We wind up talking and shes telling me things about her life (not anything important, just things that upset me like how she has a new bf and all that) and other random topics like memories, etc. By the nights end, we wind up having sex (WORST MISTAKE) and I ask if I should leave and she said she wanted me to stay with her through the night. When we wake up in the morning I have her drive me to my car and I try and ask what all that meant. She said it needed to happen, but didnt go any further into detail on the matter. I tried to press it but she seemed to be getting annoyed. As I got out the car she said I could text her, but I told her to text me instead. She never did. The whole night just put me into a further depression because I saw how easy she moved on and how much she doesn't care. She basically used me for sex and I feel so stupid... I since have found out that she was gonna have people over that night but they never showed up, so she was probably just bored and decided to see if she could get me over... Now I feel like I'm back exactly where I started IF NOT WORSE and I can't get over it. I was on complete no contact for so long and in one night I wind up doing the most contact that can be achieved. Anyway, I just needed to vent. If anyone has anything to say to this it'd be greatly appreciated. I feel so alone and hurt :/ P.S. I dont know if this is in the right sub forum or not, if it isn't. I'm sorry)
Kansas87 Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 Don't feel alone. I think most of us have been there. Just remember this the next time you hear from her. If it makes you feel better she probably didn't set out to use you like that- she was just bored and lonely and wanted to talk. One thing led to another. Nobody in this situation is bad or evil, just normal, emotional humans. Just next time post in the "Post here instead of contacting your ex" thread! 2
LostInTheWild Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 Forget her. It's that simple. Don't hold onto those who want nothing to do with you, or wonder whether or not they care if you're dead or alive. That's the point of breakups -- getting your bearings and finding your own path without them in the way. The biggest life lessons we can learn. People come and go, live and die. Learn to say goodbye. 2
elbe Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 I have been there. This girl is all over the place. None of this is your fault, but you don't want to be involved with a girl like this in the first place. She just showed you her true colors, now is your chance to run. 3
greenfairie Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 I wouldnt blame two exes for having sex because they happened to be in a confined room alone. I assume you two kind of had an expectation of it possibly happening. Correct me if I'm wrong though. I once asked an ex to meet up with me at my house and we could hang out in my room and he instantly rejected me on that and I wondered why he said no for the first time. Then I realized later he was dating a girl and probably didn't want to risk hanging out in my room knowing what might happen for his girlfriends sake. You'll be okay. Time will help.
AnyaNova Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 They don't mean to, they are just going along being human, but somehow, nobody knows how to hurt us quite like exes. For your own healing, you need to stay on NC! I am sorry you are hurting. If it helps, though I never had sex with my ex, I did break NC several times And got ignored each time. It was like a spike through my heart each and every time. Stay strong and keep up your routine!
JoelBarish Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 I had sex with my ex a few times awhile back. It's almost like they do it for validation on their part that they can still have us unlike us poor fools who do it because we still want to be with them.
Author kidinfo1 Posted December 2, 2013 Author Posted December 2, 2013 Thanks for all the replies everyone, I appreciate it. I just feel so stupid for doing it. And the fact that she hasn't tried to contact me since makes everything so much worse. I just feel so used and it really gets me down. I'm not going to try and reach her because 1. I'm continuing with the no contact and 2. I'm afraid she wouldn't even answer anyway. It's just that when we were together that night I felt a way I haven't felt in a very long time and it just sucks to know it wasn't what I thought it was
seekingpeaceinlove Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 kidinfo1, sorry you're going through this but we all do things we wished we hadn't when we're heartbroken...it's normal. Don't beat youself up. Sometimes these "mistakes" make us stronger. It's up to you. One thing that has helped me get through the tough times is to remember that: THE SITUATION HAS NOT CHANGED. You could have had sex with your ex for a week straight, bought a diamond necklace for her, fought with her, saw her with her new bf....whatever....in the end...the situation has not changed. You two are still broken up and you are still trying hard to move on. I remember driving past my ex's house and freaking out thinking he was out with some other girl....but I reminded myself that the situation was still the same as it was before I drove by his house. We are no longer together. That's all that matters. Stop dwelling on the slip up. That's just your pride talking. She may have used you or may not have...but this should give you the extra umph you need to move on. THE SITUATION HASN'T CHANGED just your prospective. Does it matter that she texts you or not at this point? HELL NO. Change your prospective back....and take back control. You can look at it as, " Yep we had sex, it felt great, thank goodness she's not texting me...I don't want to get sucked back into this whole thing again.." Maintain NC, my friend.
Author kidinfo1 Posted December 3, 2013 Author Posted December 3, 2013 That's a new way of looking at it seekingpeaceinlove thanks. It's still hard but I'll try to look at it that way. Now she just tried adding me on snapchat and it says I have a pending one from her, I'm refusing to accept it because I know all she wants to do is **** with me and I can't handle her playing with my head. Why is she doing this now? It's bringing me down so much
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