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texting if you are just friends


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Posted

So,what do you guys think? Does he think I am not interested, and want me to make more of an initiative or should I just let it go?

 

I met a guy at a bar while waiting for my friends to show up. It was really crowded and I was bored and we started talking and had a really good time. I didn't mention I had a bf because guys don't either listen to it or think you are lying and besides,it wasn't flirty he knew I was bored and we were just talking.

 

Anyways,my BF decided he wanted to come up since I was texting him earlier I was bored and alone and so I told this guy that he was on his way and he was like,"So? Just kiss me." I guess he didn't believe me....but he did when he saw him show up five minutes later lol

 

The guy texted me the next day that he had fun and it was nice meeting me. I didn't see the text until kinda late (was at the movies) so I texted him the next day I had fun too and that was the last I heard from him.

 

I messaged him a few days later to wish him a happy thanksgiving and he said the same but that was it.

 

 

I am wondering if it would be super creeper of me to ask how his thanksgiving was, or would he just think I'm being friendly?

 

I really don't ever have guy friends,so I don't know how to act. With dating I would just assume he isn't interested,but the rules don't really apply in this situation, right?

 

I guess I am just afraid of coming across too aggressive if I text him again, so he will think I am looking for a fling or something.

 

Like I said,I can never just have guy friends without it getting weird,but I really thought he was cool and we had a lot in common. I see other people with opposite sex friends and don't know why I can't so maybe I am doing something wrong or leading them on?

 

Is it ok to text him or would it be weird? Should I just let it go?If this was dating I would feel like I'm being too aggressive texting him again,but at the same time I did take awhile to respond and didn't ask him any questions either so I'd think maybe I wasn't enthusiastic enough...but this isn't dating! I don't really know how to do that with friends I meet either,don't want to be all weird texting them all the time to hang out sigh. I do keep pretty busy so people think I am not interested and give up.

 

 

Thanks!

Posted

do you have a bf.......if you do ask him how he thinks you should relate to this guy by text..what eh would be comfortable with ....what the other guy is comfortable with is not a concern compared to your bf.........deb

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Posted

My boyfriend doesn't mind me having guy friends,and I have in the past but I haven't in awhile.

 

He's not really great at advice on this kind of stuff,that's why I'm asking here.

 

If anything, I have to be more careful of him....he's always very friendly so girls take it the wrong way and well,he's a guy...he doesn't think about this kind of stuff.

 

I actually make sure to keep boundaries (i.e. not hanging out alone with a guy, or talking to him all the time about relationship issues,etc) but it doesn't matter to guys it seems like they take any sign of talking to them as meaning I want to date them.

Posted
My boyfriend doesn't mind me having guy friends,and I have in the past but I haven't in awhile.

 

He's not really great at advice on this kind of stuff,that's why I'm asking here.

 

If anything, I have to be more careful of him....he's always very friendly so girls take it the wrong way and well,he's a guy...he doesn't think about this kind of stuff.

 

I actually make sure to keep boundaries (i.e. not hanging out alone with a guy, or talking to him all the time about relationship issues,etc) but it doesn't matter to guys it seems like they take any sign of talking to them as meaning I want to date them.

 

Funny you mention this thing about talking to men and they assume dating is next. My good female friend was just going off the other day about how guys all want the same thing and when they are nice to her its just because they want to sleep with her. I actually argued that it's pretty unreasonable to make such a blanket statement and it's almost sort of mean to me....I'm nice to her and talk to her so according to her it means I want to bang her? She's attractive, yes but we have a good friendship and sex isn't really on my mind with her.

 

Anyways, I see no problem with asking him how is holiday was. Is that how bad it's gotten out there? You can't have friends of the opposite sex because it automatically means you want to screw them? Really? Ugh.... That really sucks. I have great connections with my two very good female friends and my wife has no problem with it. It's just sad that the prevailing attitude out there is that if someone from the opposite sex is even remotely nice to me it means they really only want to sleep with me. Sad. :(

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