I've fancied my friend for 9 years

[hannahsmith]

I have had fancied/had a crush on my friend for 8 years. My friend went out with him when she was 16 and I remember being insanely jealous. I then told everyone I fancied him when I was about 18 and we would flirt/hug a bit. I remember holding hands with him walking home and stuff. He kissed me on the cheek one night too after walking home but I was too shy to do anything then and it was a bit awkward. One day at at party he kept ignoring me and said he would come over for kisses in a bit. I got a bit fed up and ended up flirting with someone else (nothing had happened with him for a year practically, I was too shy when I was younger).

After that night, we literally stopped talking and he went into a relationship with a girl for 5 years. I always had a bit of a crush on him but I accepted that he would be someone that I always fancied. He then started flirting loads with my friend on night when we were about 22 and again I was extremely jealous. He has since split up with his girlfriend and we are just friends. Like I said I understand he is just someone that I will always fancy a bit and it would be weird starting something now so I have sort of accepted nothing will ever happen. My friend said we should just get together and on holiday she said I should just sleep with him one night. We have been for a few drinks together by ourselves (again my friend rolled her eyes) and we get on well as friends and we are a little flirty.

The question is because it has been 9 years and nothing has happened do you think it would ever be possible? I think the only thing that could possibly start anything would be if we got really drunk. How can you get out of a friendzone like this? It would be awkward to go from friendly flirty to actually flirting because we have been friends for so long.

[StrongLass]

If you're actually interested in pursuing him for a romantic relationship then

 

Just.Ask.Him.Out.

 

"Hey you know I've always kinda fancied you & would like to spend more time getting to know you...wanna get coffee on thursday?"

 

Seriously some version of that should suffice if you actually want to date him. Frankly though I can't tell from the tone of your post if that's actually what you want or if you're just daydreaming...

[SincereOnlineGuy]

DO NOT under any circumstances get really drunk as a precursor to (getting bold enough to throw yourself at/on him).

 

You've already put yourself in a frame of mind where he need not do much more than lie on top of you to make it seem like the greatest experience you've ever known... (so why take the chance of having that experience AND not remembering much of it later??)

 

 

I think that your shared history allows that you can get near to him, and I'm guessing that it won't take very much at all for you to wind up getting very close, or even bedding him, if that's what you want.

[Mr. Nibbles]

Compliments are always nice.

[todreaminblue]

if you like him ask him he can only say nah ...sorry......then you wont waste any more time...deb

[Meadowgreen]

There definitely sounds like there's some chemistry between you two. He might be debating the exact same thing you are but feels like something would've happened by now if it was meant to be.

 

Hey, for what it's worth, I know of 4 couples in my friendship circle with very similar stories to yours - friends for a long time, obvious chemistry, dated other people and finally got together when the timing was right for both parties, so it does happen a lot!

 

Think of it this way - he's single. You're single. It's much more preferable that the issue is addressed now before another person gets brought into the mix again.

 

Just be cool and tell him that you like being around him and you wouldn't mind taking it to the other level. That's as subtle enough an indication to him that he won't be shot down if he makes a move.

 

Keep us updated on how it goes, and best of luck!

[Meadowgreen]

Hannah, I see that you liked my comment - do you have an update for us yet?