Moving overseas, do I request things back again?

[Transplant]

Dear LS,

My ex (as of August) still has some of my most memorable belongings, namely my Oxford Boxing and University of St. Andrews Boxing gear that I earned as a varsity athlete in college and graduate school.

 

At month's end I will be moving back overseas for international work and I would like these items back as they do represent some of the best times of my life and accomplishments (which is why I left them at her place pre-break up as she enjoyed wearing them and, as she said, it was a way to show-off how great of a guy she has (well, had)). I have requested these items back on several occasions after she said she would send them to me; this was in September and I have remained NC ever since. I did receive several texts from her saying she was wearing them post-break up. Should I reach out and try to acquire them pre or post departure or do I simply leave them be? They have my last name stitched on them and she did not school at either institution so I'm not really sure why they're still being held captive and allegedly worn. Here is my original posting about these things with the handle, 'Are they just things?'

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/434552-they-just-things

 

Though I still care for her (now in more tangent ways), these items do not represent our connection nor relationship, rather, my own accomplishments and the student-athlete I prided and cloaked myself in. I cannot simply reorder these items, nor do I have the ability to be a collegiate boxer again so they do mean quite a bit to me. It was my desire to one day pass these items on to my children (if ever blessed with kids) and encourage them to study where daddy studied.

 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. With kindest regards, I remain

 

Very truly yours,

Transplant

[headinthecloud]

If they are truly important to you then I would make one final attempt to get them back and be clear about when you need them (eg. before departure date). Take it one message at a time. Post here if you're unsure how to broach the subject with her.

[Sugarkane]

It makes me laugh, if dumpers ate so over it, then why pull this BS? Instead of acting passive aggressive all the time, they could easily give it back

[Transplant]

Many thanks for this; I'll reach out one last time and keep it brief and formal but won't go into detail of my future whereabouts.

 

Sugarkane: I'm not sure why she still has them, nor do I know why she wears them as they do have my last name stitched on them and again, she didn't go to either of those institutions. She did mention on one a few occasions that these items (along with the letters I sent over the years, 8 years), were all she had left of me and she says she reads the letters every morning and wears my clothes at night, which surprises me, though I don't believe her. I was surprised when she left for good, but then again, she was always full of surprises.

[d0nnivain]

Do you have a buddy who can go get them for you? Have him call & arrange to pick the stuff up. That way you don't even have to see each other.

[Transplant]

Thanks, d0nnivain, I have tried this previously but to no avail (August). I have deleted her out of my life and I believe she has done the same, with the exception of her having these possessions and again, allegedly wearing them. She texted me not too terribly long ago saying talking to me (in person or other) was just too difficult. I guess after eight years of chasing and being chased, vestiges of the relationship remain stringently vivid but I no longer harbor hope for any rekindling, nor do I harbor any deep-rooted resentments towards her, with the exception of the occasional blast of psychic flatulence all breakups yield to in some shape or form. Especially with this nearing international move I'm set to make (yet again), I would like these items back but I'm not holding my breath on their return. As stated, this bird was full of surprises, so I've become acutely conditioned to expect frayed ends and unanswered questions; my bags were never packed enough with this one but this time 'round I will remain geographically and emotionally unavailable. No plane tickets or acts of alleged heartfelt reconcile or rekindling will bring me back but it would sure be nice have that part of my past (uni and graduate athletic representations) back. I'll keep you all posted on these churnings but I may simply tell myself, at some point, it's not worth it to get them back.