letsplaygofish2 Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 Today I went to a new church in hopes of finding a new community to call home. I live in Los Angeles, but don't have any family here. To some extent, I call my friends my family, but it really isn't the same as having moms house to go and visit. My ex and I talked about spending the holidays together because we both don't have family here. But ever since our breakup, I've had to come to terms that he isn't emotionally read or available. Story can be found here: Dumped by an insecure man who runs away. and here Ex has gone crazy. I'm just really disappointed by our intimate talks about like we're in a relationship unlike any other we've had before, him finally feeling like he met someone he could trust and see himself having children with. I, too, could see myself having children with him and spending our lives together. I just feel so DUPED. I tried so hard to help him, but he couldn't see that. Instead he blames me. I still want to reach out and tell him everything is going to be okay, but I know that's wrong. I know that I need to stay in NC, but it's so hard... what if I can't do it? I am worried that he might hurt himself.. I'd feel so guilty if he did. I still miss the faint memories of him, the way he held me, talked to each other, cooked together... stealing glances and our final "I love you" before we broke up. I know he loved me, but he just runs away. Why do men run????
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