justmeal84 Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 So we broke up close to two weeks ago. here is a quick version. (we have been together for 1.5 years moved in together 1 month into the relationship) She texted me one night while she was at work saying hunny i love you but i dont know if i want to get married again or have another kid. (she has 2 boys from her first marriage 7 and 8) I was shocked cus this is important to me she knows i want that in my future. We talked about it some more but she wasnt budging so i had said fine i we are over then. The next day we talked all day and she said she doesnt want to end things but feels its better for both us. I went back to our house started packing my stuff and we sat down and talked. We both agreed although we love each other the passion was slowly fading. We moved in to fast and basically went straight into being husband and wife. Ill admit things got repetitive and stale. But i loved her and her kids. I decided to move out but we wanted to start over. Things were going awesome!!! we where having fun again she was asking me to see me more. Then blame she says she cant do it anymore. She wants to find herself and has been in relationships for the past ten years and wants to know what it is like to be on her own. I said simply ok. I didn't ask her to work it or try to patch things. We talked the next couple of days in text about when to get my things and when i would come over to say by to the boys. Said bye to the boys which sucked big time, and walked out the door. When i went to go get the rest of my stuff she didnt want to see me or talk because she felt she would give in, to working things out. I have been in nc for about 2 weeks but did slip up on thanksgiving saying "happy turkey day to you and the boys". I did talk to her mother and some of her family because they all love me and want me to be with her. She said that she told them she loves me but we rushed things to much and we met at the wrong time. She wishes she would have been happy just being herself before we met. SO YA SORRY ITS SO LONG BUT THAT IS THE SHORT VERSION... I was looking for advice on ways to reconnect with her, I want to hit the reset button and try to things right this time not move in right away take things slow and natural. I have a really expensive coat i was gonna give her for xmas that she has bugging me for months to get. Her mom told me to do nc until xmas send it to her with a simple note saying marry xmas. I was thinking about a week befor hand i was gonna send her a letter asking how the boys where doing and telling her what i have been up to. not a love letter, not needy, or mushy just something more form a old friend. oh and include two letter for the boys to because i miss the buggers. what you guys think?
thompkevin Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 Hey, OK. You have to understand that you broke up with her for a reason. And it seems you are forgetting that reason. Sure you might feel like you can hit the reset button and everything will be OK. But it's not like this. The facts still remain the same. The reason you broke up still remains. She does not want kids in the future and you do. So why go there again? PS: Here's an article that might help How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back If You Broke Up With Her
d0nnivain Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 You broke up over the decision to have kids. This is the most important decision two people can ever make. If you want biological children & she doesn't you can't reconnect with her because you are fundamentally incompatible. This isn't something you are gonna talk her into. Similarly, it's not a dream you should give up on this easily.
AlmostFrench Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 I agree, it is easy to forget these important things after a break up when you are so focused on getting someone back. But have you decided now you do not want your own children? If you still want them, remember that and return the coat for something for yourself. If you have decided you don't care about having children so much, then sending the coat after a period of NC sounds like a good idea. You will probably receive a thank you message or call and then you can suggest a catch up.
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