CAdude82 Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 My ex and I broke up 6 months ago after being together for only 5 months. We met on a dating app last December and had our first date on January 1st. We moved kind of fast. By the end of Janurary, we were a couple. He was a great guy. He took care of me during surgery in February, he talked me into getting my first tattoo (which I've always wanted but was too afraid to get). He was smart and just easy to get along with. However, by May, he started getting very annoyed with me. He started acting like a jerk. Things started to get a bit boring. Usually, all we did was watch TV. In early June, he ended up breaking up with me. At his time, I was sort of ready to break up as well, so I was relieved. His reason was "Work is going to be getting very busy and I won't have time to maintain a relationship". That same day he broke up with me, he bought me dinner and we went back to his place. He broke up with me, and I still stayed for a while before leaving. He said we should still be friends. There was no animosity at all. For the rest of June and all of July, I had no feelings of sadness or anything. Not even the day after breaking up. There was nothing. The next day after the breakup, he even texted me to see how I was. We continued to text eachother every now and then (this was before I learned about NC). Well, we ended up having dinner in early August, and I started having feelings for him all over again. The guy I saw that day was the guy I fell in love with. I would text him off and on and tried to meet up with him again. We ended up meeting up again and the feelings became even stronger for me. I wanted to kiss him when he left, but all I got was a big hug. This saddened me. Then, October came, and we had one more dinner. I texted him that I still have a lot of love in my heart for him and I wanted to try things again. He responded with "I care about you, but I can't go into it with the same way as before". I called him to explain what he meant and he said that he can't just jump back into things again. He wanted to be friends and to let things naturally develop. I asked him if there were a chance of he and I getting back together and he said yes. Well, this gave me hope, and made me fight for him even more. I ended up texting him frequently trying to hang out. I texted him how depressed I was and how I can't even listen to the radio anymore without thinking of him. He replied back "With what you are saying, we cannot be friends". I again called immediately after he texted me this and asked what he meant. He said that with work right now, me texting him that stuff was starting to make him feel anxious and things are being forced. I apologized and tried to back off. However, that wasn't the end of it. I did some snooping on his Instagram and noticed that he was "liking" a guy's pictures an awful lot. This guy was supposedly his friend while we were together. He had met up with him a few times and told me he was going to go see his friend. Well. I saw this guy on the dating app and started asking if he was seeing anybody. It turns out, he said he was dating my ex. I let a couple days pass and I texted my ex that I will put his clothes in the back of his truck. He called me and asked me what the deal was. I told him what I had done. He said that it was pretty weird that I did that, but he said that he was talking to this guy, and even if they were dating, "you and I are just friends". I agreed. He told me I was an awesome guy and to text him whenever. Just don't be weird. Well, I unfortunately didn't stop there. On Halloween, I he told me he had a tattoo appointment. I told him that I was going to come and see it. I guess saying that I was going to come to his appointment sent him over the edge. He told me "I don't want to be mean, you have been very weird and aggressive with the way you go about doing things lately". After that, I tried texting him and got nothing. Three weeks went by and I texted him Happy Thanksgiving. He replied back with the same. I asked how he has been and I got no reply. Did I completely ruin any chance of trying to reconcile anything at all? I am forcing myself to stay NC. But part of me wants to text and ask him if there is anyway I can do anything so we are at least back on talking terms. However, everytime I text him, or look at his pictures, it absolutely ruins me, so I need to stay NC for a while.
thompkevin Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 Hey, To be honest, you didn't ruin the chances of reconciliation. But he seems to be moving on and you need to take a step back. There is still a chance to get back together (read this article for more detail), but it involves you staying in no contact and making a few positive changes in your life. Unless he sees you in a new light, you don't really stand a chance.
BN1990 Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 yeah i agree, you need to stop forcing stuff to happen, take a step back, relax, and focus on yourself. the more you push for an answer, the more you push them away
AlmostFrench Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 (edited) You kind of did the txting terrorism there. Before you do anything from now, you have to step back and see how you would look in his eyes. Telling him you are depressed all the time puts pressure on him that you may harm yourself and cannot function without him. Talking to the guy he is dating is basically spying on him and trying to interfere in his life. Stop doing these things. Your ex is probably scared of what you will do next! That is why he is ignoring you. Go into NC until you can get a hold of your emotions. He said that he wanted to be friends and progress naturally, he probably saw you were getting too serious in the relationship and now have proved that to him through the constant txting. You need to lie low for a bit. Contact him in a month maybe asking him in a non threatening way to grab a coffee or invite him to a party so he knows it is not just one on one time. In the meantime, fill your life with new adventures so you have some interesting things to tell him. He will not change his mind til he sees the pressure lifted and a change in you. Edited December 4, 2013 by AlmostFrench Typo
Author CAdude82 Posted December 8, 2013 Author Posted December 8, 2013 So after the NC period, should I apologize for my behaviir, or should I never bring it up?
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