Kansas87 Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 About a week ago I texted my ex asking him to send his spare key to me with someone, or to mail it. Several days later he replied that he wanted his garage door opener back. Yesterday, a few days later, he started texting me about it again and I foolishly responded. He didn't believe that I was doing NC and avoiding him for ME- he thought I was doing it to punish/hurt him. So today he stopped by to drop off my stuff. He was nice, helped me fix my door a little, but I kept conversation to a minimum. Before he left I said, "I'm sorry you can't understand why I don't want to see you but it isn't to hurt you, or to be mean, or to be a bitch. It's just the way it is." And I was obviously choked up. Then I shut the door on him. He texted a few minutes later, apologizing, saying he'd been going to see if I wanted to do something together, but saying he'd leave me alone now because he "still loves and cares about me" and will try to respect my wishes. So after doing really, really well for the past two weeks I am now a wreck again. Because he was nice, and trying to be nice to me, and even though he was a jerk for not just listening to me in the first place, it just backfired. Because last night I was all POed and angry at him, and now all I can think about are the good things. And I am so sad. :'(
letsplaygofish2 Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 I'm sorry, that's really sad. Do you think you'll get back together? Someone asked me the same question and I honestly don't know the answer. Like you, I am still hung up on those high hopes that things could be so good, but then again I've seen the cray cray and it ain't pretty!
Author Kansas87 Posted December 2, 2013 Author Posted December 2, 2013 Will we get back together? No, I don't think so. He has serious issues- fear of commitment mixed with insecurity topping the list- and until he works those out he won't be able to have a good relationship with me (or anyone, IMO). The thing is, he'll never work them out. He claims that's "just the way he is" and "there's no point trying to change because it's who I am." I was wondering yesterday which is worse- getting dumped because someone fell out of love with you, or getting dumped by someone who keeps claiming that they still love you? Ugh.
AllTooWell Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 I think getting dumped by someone who still loves you is worse. I was there too. It's hater to go NC on someone who still wants you in there life and is adamant about their love for you. But just remind yourself that you need to do this for you because you are hurting and this is the easiest way to fix that. Going NC will prevent all sorts of drama and fights, and let the possibility of friendship or a relationship down the road exist. 2
BlessYourCottonSocks Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 Will we get back together? No, I don't think so. He has serious issues- fear of commitment mixed with insecurity topping the list- and until he works those out he won't be able to have a good relationship with me (or anyone, IMO). The thing is, he'll never work them out. He claims that's "just the way he is" and "there's no point trying to change because it's who I am." I was wondering yesterday which is worse- getting dumped because someone fell out of love with you, or getting dumped by someone who keeps claiming that they still love you? Ugh. Fear of commitment? He'll never change? Just the way he is? Gosh, that is soooo weird! My ex just told me this last night, in every word you said. He said he loves me, but not in love with me. And I was like what the hell is that?! You dumb boy. Your fear should be you are so damn afraid to lose me because I'm the best woman you WILL ever met?!!!! And nothing less. Please run. Fast. I hate that line and won't tolerate it. That's stupid. Fear my butt!! Don't you dare let him come back. Stay strong woman! 2
Author Kansas87 Posted December 3, 2013 Author Posted December 3, 2013 I know, it's ridiculous. "I still love you and care about you but..." No! No buts!
letsplaygofish2 Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 My ex said he would have married me and had kids if I could control my emotions. But the thing is I'm very vocal and think its healthy to have feelings (I'm not crazy and know how to conduct myself...). But I think my ex was afraid of his own feelings. It sure feels like a sucker punch to get dumped by someone who is still in love with you.
Author Kansas87 Posted December 3, 2013 Author Posted December 3, 2013 It sure feels like a sucker punch to get dumped by someone who is still in love with you. Yeah and they seem to like to TELL YOU THAT a million times. Like it's supposed to make you feel better?????
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