kunu Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 (edited) Hey folks, first post and it seemed like the right place to put this. I'll try to void a book. To break down my situation: Me and this girl were together and became official for about a decent 2 months. Sex was great and we went out a lot and did cool stuff together. We mutually break it off, she technically initiated it because my situation turns mobile and I'm interviewing for jobs all over. I react fine, don't call her for about 2 weeks and have an ok rebound dealio with a young college chick. She came begging back after that 2 weeks. I'm like, sex is sex so we start hooking up again and spent an entire weekend in bed together. That first time back, she's in bed and finds a pair pants under the sheets, knows they weren't hers, tells me it's ok and we continue and continue and continue haha. So, we establish bc of my job deal we can't be going making it a full relationship. Fast forward another 2 months and we're doing good. Just hooking up a crazy amount on a daily basis, just awesome. We have an argument on Halloween after I try to take care of her when she was sick. Found out she got unsick pretty quick and went out to drink with a married guy (who she doesn't realize adores her) while I was having a great time at a party she told me she was too sick to go to. I call her out and she says she needs space. I am fine with this and just cut it off. That's bad news. I got the feeling she didn't want to be treated like a girlfriend even though I simply enjoy doing those relationship type gestures with who I date and fool around with regardless of the definitions....plus when a chick flirts with taken guy, it pisses me off to no end. So...she returns yet again a few weeks back (this is when I shouldn't have let her back in) and we're strictly friends with benefits but the deal was it was on her convenience. She's a super cute blonde in law school and super busy so I give her a break bc honestly, the sex is fantastic. So, some time goes and she takes a trip back home and tells me she can't promise she won't hook up with this old friend of hers and then goes about to invite me to her FAMILY thanksgiving dinner. WTF? Needless to say, It makes up for an awkward dinner and she acted completely disinterested in me there. Jokes about her flirting with other guys and even started getting fidgety with the guys of our friend-couples which is f*cked up in my opinion. She literally petted the face of one of her good friends' boyfriends for minutes in front of her friend and was purposely being non-pda with me in any regard. This was a couple who already got mad at her for doing the SAME THING a few weeks back. So...this was weird, stupid, and the last straw so I just broke everything off yesterday for good. Told her she clearly isn't interested in me, Thanksgiving was weird as hell, I can't be her sex toy and we can't keep this going on. My question is why was the initial break up not a damage to my psyche (which she initiated) versus now when I was the one to break things off as f*ck buddies? I feel the typical break-up symptoms now and am trying to get outta the funk something fierce. I actually wouldn't want a long term relationship with her because I don't like her personality anymore but I'm reeling here for some reason and it was strictly physical (with the occasional date/night out) for the last month. I think I need to make my move out for a job. I'm in a smaller southern city so am thinking to just make a leap to DC. Need a big change right now. Any advice appreciated Edited December 1, 2013 by kunu
headinthecloud Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 You clearly have feelings for her and she for you. The FWB was an act. FWB don't spend weekends in bed together - thats a RS act - and they dont get jealous. She may have told you she was ok with the arrangement but I don't think she was being honest. I think she wanted you in your life because you're a good guy and she was trying to convince you that she's ok with your open RS. Either way, it sounds like you're incompatible when it comes down to it (plus you're both young, lots more heartbreak in both your futures). I would just move on and go NC. There's history now and too much has happened. Look forward to your bright new future in DC. Good luck.
Author kunu Posted December 2, 2013 Author Posted December 2, 2013 You clearly have feelings for her and she for you. The FWB was an act. FWB don't spend weekends in bed together - thats a RS act - and they dont get jealous. She may have told you she was ok with the arrangement but I don't think she was being honest. I think she wanted you in your life because you're a good guy and she was trying to convince you that she's ok with your open RS. Either way, it sounds like you're incompatible when it comes down to it (plus you're both young, lots more heartbreak in both your futures). I would just move on and go NC. There's history now and too much has happened. Look forward to your bright new future in DC. Good luck. Appreciate the response. That's really what I gotta do as much as it pains me. There was definitely something there but we're on different paths. I don't think we'd have agreed to get back together that many times if there wasn't something there. Probably need to give it a few days to cool. I never truly called her out on being weird in front of other guys in relationships, so that's paining me too on top of deciding to leave it on a good note with her by wishing her the best. What is getting to me: I call it off but she's acting like she's completely cool with it and I have to hide how much I'm reeling right now which sucks. In the meantime, I'm just staying as active as possible and my sex drive is way down for some reason haha. My bud put it best: I'm Cusack-ing and need to get my sh*t together.
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