Broke NC and learned it finally!

[crazybestie101]

Last night i was talking to my coworker about my ex , she convinced me i am wrong in my thinking and i should just drop all hopes about him coming back. This made me contact him again. I ended up writing how much resentment i have towards him and on top of that i ended expressing my love for him. I must say my conversation with coworker and while writing " hate" email . I kinda realized i am wasting my time , the guy has emotionally checked out in August already, has been chasing other girls. Nothing i can do to change him. Still learning it hard way. I know people said that why end on bad note. But i had to write this "hate" email to release myself. Can't believe guy who told me he is always going to be there for me , some one who has chased me around , talking about marriage in first week is gone. Probably he must have read email by now and wont reply now. two different kind of feelings i am having right now : 1)assured that i said and did all , its DONE! 2) crap, why i even wrote to such guy who doesnt even care about me and forgot about me. Why would i poured my heart out again to him. He must me laughing at me.

 

I know you all will scold me again about why i broke NC and all but i love this guy so much , i didn't wanted to leave hope , wanted to do all i possibly could. I know this guy has been brainwashed , i felt that with my efforts he will be able to understand. In past whenever we had argument , he reached out to me first and that to so many times. He used to call me 10 times if i am angry and wont pick up. And now its been 1.5 months until my last encounter with him and i haven't heard a word from him. Sign of he has moved on. With me whenever something shocking happens , it wont hit me hard at begining but gradually it's going to hit me hard and will dwell everyday. Right now while knowing all i am okay but i know soon i will feel down again. Those sad and lonely days are back. Now i am sure i wont find love again. Honestly , i feel like to stay single forever and build career , adopt a child and live life. But i know under society pressure i probably will settle down with " arrange marriage". Sorry for ranting , i am sure many of you already know and remember my story lol

[BC1980]

I'm not surprised that you wrote the "hate" email, but it really only makes you look foolish. You're just making yourself look more unstable in his eyes. I don't know what you have accomplished with the email that could be termed positive.

[JDPT]

I've contemplated the thought of writing hate mail in the past as well. Luckily, I thought it through and would always picture my ex saying upon reading, "oh poor you..." in a very condescending tone, that would immediately stop me from setting forth my intentions.

[BC1980]

I've contemplated the thought of writing hate mail in the past as well. Luckily, I thought it through and would always picture my ex saying upon reading, "oh poor you..." in a very condescending tone, that would immediately stop me from setting forth my intentions.

 

I've definitely had my fair share of times where I imagined going off on my ex. I would stop myself because he would probably either pity me or think I was nuts. I think that's what most dumpers would think.

[JDPT]

I've definitely had my fair share of times where I imagined going off on my ex. I would stop myself because he would probably either pity me or think I was nuts. I think that's what most dumpers would think.

 

Exactly, the last thing I wanted was to come across as the "wacko ex-bf"

[crazybestie101]

I'm not surprised that you wrote the "hate" email, but it really only makes you look foolish. You're just making yourself look more unstable in his eyes. I don't know what you have accomplished with the email that could be termed positive.

 

 

Yep , may be you are right. Now that i read my sent email again i realized how foolish it was. He didn't even respond anything..

[crazybestie101]

You dated him a few months, how can you possibly love him? It's more of an obsession at this stage...

 

Well i now know him for 10 months now. Fell in love at the end of our dating like 5th month. I weigh feelings than time span of dating. I was with other guy before for 2 years never felt something that i had with this guy. It was long distance so everything just happened quickly. You can't control how you feel about someone. i have seen some people dating for 3 months and getting married, i think after 5 months is still good time.

[MoooOinkBaaa]

Don't write hate mails. That's just your ego looking for a fight. Focus on your core and build it up, start rewiring your brain. Don't worry love it's just the end of the world.

[headinthecloud]

You need to leave a door open for your ex if you are interested in getting them back. I hounded my ex about getting back after him saying we will be friends and see where it goes. I went no contact for my own benefit to not screw anything else up. Send an email to your ex for apologizing for your behavior. It is normal to feel hate, but it is never a good idea to burn bridges. Then go no contact (and don't tell them you are). Best decision I ever made. The ex knows how to contact you.

 

I would suggest that you do not email your ex again. Just let it be. He will never respond...guaranteed.

 

What he thinks about you and anything to do with your life means absolutely nothing now. Go full NC. The emotions come and go but the they do eventually go away for good. Be strong. Forgive yourself, it happens, but don't dwell.

[JDPT]

We tend to lose our pride in the process and this is something that dumpers have down pat. We must acknowledge that we have a tremendous amount of value and if they chose not to be with us it's their loss not ours, we tried. Take this as a learning experience and do not hold the slightest hope of him responding to your email. Move forward, I fully understand this is easier said than done but go through the motions and in time all this pain will eventually make sense and subside.

[crazybestie101]

I would suggest that you do not email your ex again. Just let it be. He will never respond...guaranteed.

 

What he thinks about you and anything to do with your life means absolutely nothing now. Go full NC. The emotions come and go but the they do eventually go away for good. Be strong. Forgive yourself, it happens, but don't dwell.

 

Why would i email him now ? There is just nothing left to say or do. As expected he didn't reply anything on "hate" email. i am back to full NC and i am okay. Kinda in realization mode still , feeling fine. I hope i dont see anything which will remind me of him and trigger pain.

[crazybestie101]

We tend to lose our pride in the process and this is something that dumpers have down pat. We must acknowledge that we have a tremendous amount of value and if they chose not to be with us it's their loss not ours, we tried. Take this as a learning experience and do not hold the slightest hope of him responding to your email. Move forward, I fully understand this is easier said than done but go through the motions and in time all this pain will eventually make sense and subside.

 

Yep , you are so right. I am not expecting any reply from him , its been 10 + hours he probably have read it and i didnt get any response. May be he might have put me in filter where my email goes and deletes automatically without him reading. Many possibalities. Who cares , It's all done. Anyways after sending that email and rereading that email i felt so foolish.I just know that i have tried my all. He just doesn't care and i no longer want to continue with this crazyness. When my friends went through such phase in their relationship and did act crazy , i used to tell myself i would never do such stuff but i guess here i am , doing same. I guess everyone goes through it and do all this stuff. But i am sure my ex think me as crazy person now.

[Zoe Lilith]

Last night i was talking to my coworker about my ex , she convinced me i am wrong in my thinking and i should just drop all hopes about him coming back. This made me contact him again. I ended up writing how much resentment i have towards him and on top of that i ended expressing my love for him. I must say my conversation with coworker and while writing " hate" email . I kinda realized i am wasting my time , the guy has emotionally checked out in August already, has been chasing other girls. Nothing i can do to change him. Still learning it hard way. I know people said that why end on bad note. But i had to write this "hate" email to release myself. Can't believe guy who told me he is always going to be there for me , some one who has chased me around , talking about marriage in first week is gone. Probably he must have read email by now and wont reply now. two different kind of feelings i am having right now : 1)assured that i said and did all , its DONE! 2) crap, why i even wrote to such guy who doesnt even care about me and forgot about me. Why would i poured my heart out again to him. He must me laughing at me.

 

I know you all will scold me again about why i broke NC and all but i love this guy so much , i didn't wanted to leave hope , wanted to do all i possibly could. I know this guy has been brainwashed , i felt that with my efforts he will be able to understand. In past whenever we had argument , he reached out to me first and that to so many times. He used to call me 10 times if i am angry and wont pick up. And now its been 1.5 months until my last encounter with him and i haven't heard a word from him. Sign of he has moved on. With me whenever something shocking happens , it wont hit me hard at begining but gradually it's going to hit me hard and will dwell everyday. Right now while knowing all i am okay but i know soon i will feel down again. Those sad and lonely days are back. Now i am sure i wont find love again. Honestly , i feel like to stay single forever and build career , adopt a child and live life. But i know under society pressure i probably will settle down with " arrange marriage". Sorry for ranting , i am sure many of you already know and remember my story lol

 

I have done exactly the same thing, but I didn't stop at the emails, I bombed him sending sms messages, trying to get that guy to answer a simple question "WHY?". I thought I have moved on, but that doesn't seem to be the case. I am back to sqare one, I am missing him terribly, trying to find an excuse to contact him.

[Zoe Lilith]

My point is, I haven't learned anything..I know, that if he asked me to reconcile, I would be back with him..Stupid, I know. I wish you all the best and hope that you will be able to move on, without looking back.