To Send or Not to Send a Holiday Flowers to Ex's Family

[McLoving]

I'm new to this site but have been reading it for months to help cope with my breakup. Not only is it helpful but it has certainly put me on the right path. Long story short, We dated for 3 yrs, were extreamly close, best friends lovers the whole nine yards. However she felt that she was missing out on her friends and life and wanted to go out and have fun and etc etc, I call BS and say it was due to another guy, even though she said there wasn't. Anyway. Weve been BU for 6 months and I've been STRICT NC for 4 months. She's tried to email and put me on the friend list and I've told her, if we ever split, I couldn't do the friends thing, because I do Love and care for her still. So, if she has texted or emailed I have not responded, Ive made it clear as to where I stand and have moved on, gone out, dated, Ive been having a great time...

 

She sent me an email to wish me a Happy Thanksgiving a day after thanksgiving, Just to wish me well and because it was the right thing for her to do and she apologized if it was intruding. I again, didn't respond nor will I. Now, I was close with her parents and especially her dad. Being that I have been NC now 4 months it'll be about 5 months in Decemeber, I did want to atleast send her Parents holiday flowers as I always did year in the past with a generic nothing about her card. Simply "To the ****** Family Merry Xmas and a Happy new year, you are in my thoughts.Happy Holiday's. signed me.

 

I would like to do this only because ive done it years in the past and even though her and I are not longer together, It is not her parents who ended it but her. It's the sediment of the wishes of a nice holiday season and nothing more.

 

What are your thoughts? to send or not to send?

 

McLoving

[Purepony]

Listen carefully.

DON'T SEND ANYTHING! I promise it will only make you feel worse

[BlametheIrish]

Don't do it. It will send the wrong message to her. Also when you break up.with someone you detach from their family too thats just how it goes. Great job on the NC keep it up!

[McLoving]

I wouldn't feel bad or worse about anything. I have no hard feelings. We were together and she ended it. She wanted to be happier and live a different life. It is because I care and do love her I've let go and hold no expectations of EVER getting back together with her. I don't want too, I'm in a better place, happier with my job, life, going out having fun, working out going on trips etc. It has nothing to do with me, only being the person I am with everyone, just a nice guy who knows the holidays mean a lot to that family and wanted to wish them well.

 

I understand however your points and I agree maybe to soon? Maybe it's not the right thing to do. She took a moment to wish me well on thanksgiving. I didn't respond, my response would be a month later to wish her family not her well.

 

I love this site and all of your posts and perspective. It's def helped me a ton over the months, so please your advice is important and will not go over looked.

[Art_Critic]

I do agree that sending flowers isn't something you should do, you are moving on from his family and part of that would be cutting the ties to those types of things, however... since you have such a tight relationship with his Mom I would think a Christmas card would be appropriate as long as it is not to your ex explicitly and just to her or his family.

[elbe]

No. Just No.

[d0nnivain]

Another vote for don't do it. Her parents will understand that the flowers were part of your romance with their daughter. Also what you subconsciously want: for them to say "awww what a great guy; you shouldn't have broken up with him & you should take him back" won't happen. Save your money.

[McLoving]

I am not subconsciously wanting any reaction from anyone. I've moved on and am happy, she's moved on. I want the best for her, if it isn't me then so be it. I'm not going to fight or want someone who doesn't want me anymore. We were friends before, fell in love and it ended. Doesn't mean I still can't be nice and share in the holiday spirit or wish her family well not her.

 

But, I totally agree and I've listened to the advice on these threads for a long time and they have never done me wrong. SO, the votes are in, send and do nothing. Thank you everyone!