conf Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 It's been 6 months since the BU. I am on NC for the whole period. I have a new job, new hobbies, new life in general but i cant stop blaming myself about the break up. She has never told my why... But on my self reflections i could see mistakes but dont know if they played part and how much they affected the situation or the bu was inevitable. I feel like i am programmed to drive away everyone who loves me. I loved her so much. She loved me so much. But we are still apart... She probably left because she felt miserable/unhappy/unmet needs because of me... Now i have to pay... I have to live with the regrets... How misguided i was... I thought that we were ok... After six years she dumped me without discussing what happened... The bu scene was just two people crying... Not even a word came out... We had to meet again after few days to discuss it but then she was cold and barely talk... I want too bad to tell her sorry for my mistakes, but i know that there is no point, so i will not do it. I would love to know if it is incompatibility/gigs/walking away syndrome or whatever it is. I want redemption! I m feeling like hurting the most important person in my life... Pfffffff
elbe Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 Sounds like you two were just incompatible. I had a girl once tell me about how I never met certain needs, etc. but some of those things she expected were totally unrealistic. You need to try to find someone more similar to you for a better outcome. It's not your fault. You shouldn't attempt to change who you are, since you can't.
Author conf Posted December 1, 2013 Author Posted December 1, 2013 Is it? Or is something i said/did? Or may be that she wants more experiences as she is young? Or...? If i knew that it was incompatibility it would be more easier but in the thought of me hurting her i feel awful... On the other hand how it is possible to be incompatibility? we were 6 years together without fights, not a couple of months...
reddragon588 Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 Have you pondered what she did wrong to cause the end of the relationship? It takes two to tango. Stop beating yourself up.
Simplysimon Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 Is it? Or is something i said/did? Or may be that she wants more experiences as she is young? Or...? If i knew that it was incompatibility it would be more easier but in the thought of me hurting her i feel awful... On the other hand how it is possible to be incompatibility? we were 6 years together without fights, not a couple of months... I don't believe people are incompatible. You were together 6 years. You were in love. Why haven't you moved on with someone else? If you do arrange a meeting do not discuss your relationship unless she raises it. Prepare yourself to provide the right answers. If she doesn't raise it, don't bring it up. Tell her your happy, controlled., in a good place. Discuss your planned future, career. Make her smile and make it lunch time. Cut the meeting short so you leave her wanting more and don't tell her to call you or arrange a meeting again. Let her drive it so she craves more. Tell her you gotta run cos your ass is busier than it really is. Relationships are a sport. Make sure your in the position for the gold not silver every time.
Author conf Posted December 1, 2013 Author Posted December 1, 2013 I don't believe people are incompatible. You were together 6 years. You were in love. Why haven't you moved on with someone else? If you do arrange a meeting do not discuss your relationship unless she raises it. Prepare yourself to provide the right answers. If she doesn't raise it, don't bring it up. Tell her your happy, controlled., in a good place. Discuss your planned future, career. Make her smile and make it lunch time. Cut the meeting short so you leave her wanting more and don't tell her to call you or arrange a meeting again. Let her drive it so she craves more. Tell her you gotta run cos your ass is busier than it really is. Relationships are a sport. Make sure your in the position for the gold not silver every time. Sorry, but meeting is not an option. She made a decision which i must respect. I started this thread in order to express my feelings and get some support. I think that forgiving myself is the last part of my healing process but it seems so difficult...
Author conf Posted December 1, 2013 Author Posted December 1, 2013 Have you pondered what she did wrong to cause the end of the relationship? It takes two to tango. Stop beating yourself up. I can see some of her mistakes but I dont think there was sth unsolvable... But what seems to me minor, maybe seems major to someone else. I thought that i put her on pedestal, so i asked friends' opinion about our relationship. Their responses were that she just want to chase the spark as she is immature... But these are their opinions, not hers. Also i think that my friends see the relationship through me so they cant be really objective :S
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