Milad Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 (edited) We met at the university in Budapest, Hungary more than 6 years ago. I fell in love at first sight. She had a boyfriend at the time, but she wasnt happy. A friend of mine who knew how deep is my love, finally told her everything and long story short, the relationship started. About 3 months later, she told me that she wasnt in love with me at the time we started and she wasnt serious about it. But "I love you know" she said. in the last 6 years, the relationship had its ups and downs. but I was happy with her. on her birthdays I always had surprises for her. we were living like a married couple. 8 months ago she moved back to her country. we stayed in touch, we started a long distance relationship. Until 4 months ago that she visited me here for my graduation ceremony. It was the best 3-4 days of my life. Now after being away for 4 months, we had an argument because I wrote her something lovely, but she didnt reply and when asked why, she said im busy drawing. we didnt talk for 2 days and then she calles and says everything is over. I even asked her if she would stay if i move to her country. but she said no. she says she doesnt love me anymore and doesnt have any feelings on me. I must add, that I have a lot of, a lot of problems these days. this couldnt happen to me in a worse period. She was the only one who knew the depth of my problems and how lonely i am, and how much i need her. but yet, she decided to leave. I'm planing to surprise her next weekend. I wanna see her. I want her to look into my eyes and tell me she doesnt feel anything. I'm a very lonely, super emotional guy. I have no shoulder to cry on. I have no one to give me some advice. you guys tell me, am I doing wrong? Even if this relationship is gonna end, i dont want it to end this way Update1: I read that in such situations, I have to give her some time and space. so i did that. until she posted a "im feeling awesome" status on FB. Then i felt like im loosing her rather that earning her back. so I contacted her, and now she says "where were you till now?" I dont know what to do anymore. i dont know whats right and whats wrong. Edited December 1, 2013 by Milad
sealyons Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 oh man, I'm so sorry for your lost. I've been in the same situation 7 months ago. The ex exactly said the same thing, not happy anymore. Two months after, she's out there marketing herself online, announcing to everyone she meets she's single and available. That's 4-5 years being together. How could she forget our beautiful love in just 2 months. I begged, did everything I could to win her back but she aint giving me any chances. Blamed myself for taking her for granted weeks prior to the break up but looking back, i think she already made up her mind. Whether I was the best boyfriend or the perfect boyfriend, she would have still left. Now, don't do what I did, expecting that she will regret and come back. it took me a long time to move on because of hope. what you have to do is unfriend her on facebook, stop stalking her online and live your life without her. Sooner or later, you will learn to live with it. 1
Robbyrob Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 Hey man! my gf also moved to Hungary and we had to break up! you have two options: 1.) Option to win her back: - give her space - dont call her, dont message her - if she writes you dont reply or only reply short - stay confident - dont write any posts on facebook, whatsapp about yourself - be the person she fall in love with 2.) Option to let her go: - as hard as it sounds she might have met another boy - who lives close to her and can be there for all the time whenever she wants to - get as much distraction with friends as possible - meet other girls - maybe there is a last chance one day she will want you back, but for now it doesnt sound like that Keep your head up!!! 1
Author Milad Posted December 1, 2013 Author Posted December 1, 2013 Hey man! my gf also moved to Hungary and we had to break up! you have two options: 1.) Option to win her back: - give her space - dont call her, dont message her - if she writes you dont reply or only reply short - stay confident - dont write any posts on facebook, whatsapp about yourself - be the person she fall in love with 2.) Option to let her go: - as hard as it sounds she might have met another boy - who lives close to her and can be there for all the time whenever she wants to - get as much distraction with friends as possible - meet other girls - maybe there is a last chance one day she will want you back, but for now it doesnt sound like that Keep your head up!!! Unlike me, she is not an emotional person. She wont sit and think about me and her past. she is a very strong girl. She can easily forget me. What do you think about my surprise trip? Im hoping that when I have her hands in mine, something may change. As i said before, even if she wanna end it, i dont want it to be with hard feelings. How could she change 180 degrees in 2 days?! When I talked to her last night, I felt like I'm talking to someone who doesnt know me at all.
Author Milad Posted December 1, 2013 Author Posted December 1, 2013 oh man, I'm so sorry for your lost. I've been in the same situation 7 months ago. The ex exactly said the same thing, not happy anymore. Two months after, she's out there marketing herself online, announcing to everyone she meets she's single and available. That's 4-5 years being together. How could she forget our beautiful love in just 2 months. I begged, did everything I could to win her back but she aint giving me any chances. Blamed myself for taking her for granted weeks prior to the break up but looking back, i think she already made up her mind. Whether I was the best boyfriend or the perfect boyfriend, she would have still left. Now, don't do what I did, expecting that she will regret and come back. it took me a long time to move on because of hope. what you have to do is unfriend her on facebook, stop stalking her online and live your life without her. Sooner or later, you will learn to live with it. It's next to impossible for me to unfriend her I'm so wonder about what she is doing. for the past 6 years I talked to her every single day I tried meeting with friends, they get drunk and party, I sit at a corner sober, thinking about her. and as soon as I arrive home (the flat we use to live together) I start crying. I cry until I run out of energy and go into sleep, see stupid dreams, and wake up with pain in my heart.
Robbyrob Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 Unlike me, she is not an emotional person. She wont sit and think about me and her past. she is a very strong girl. She can easily forget me. What do you think about my surprise trip? Im hoping that when I have her hands in mine, something may change. As i said before, even if she wanna end it, i dont want it to be with hard feelings. How could she change 180 degrees in 2 days?! When I talked to her last night, I felt like I'm talking to someone who doesnt know me at all. Where does she live exactly and where do you live?? Worst case scenario: Imagine she has a new boy who is around with her while you try to visit her. Generally I would think its not a bad idea but as you dont know how she feels and what shes going through, better dont do it! you both talked two nights ago? Alright very easy explanation for her behaviour. She wants to get over you or she is confused by something. In this case dont talk to her at all for now. give her at least 2 weeks space, without talking! i know its hard but like this you can only get her back. If you keep on writing her and some point you will be annoying for her and that also explains her behaviour for now. Check my post about my girl, what happened. Girls do some kind of protection to get over someone, so they automatically behave cold. kEEP TO THAT PLAN: - dont call - dont message - dont write anything about that online - dont talk with any of her friends/family about that - dont apologize for anything - show her that you are strong - if she is cold to you, prented you dont care - give her space !!! - and most importantly love yourself, you seem like a good guy, but we are all kind of beta-males, we need to be stronger 1
Author Milad Posted December 1, 2013 Author Posted December 1, 2013 (edited) Where does she live exactly and where do you live?? Worst case scenario: Imagine she has a new boy who is around with her while you try to visit her. Generally I would think its not a bad idea but as you dont know how she feels and what shes going through, better dont do it! you both talked two nights ago? Alright very easy explanation for her behaviour. She wants to get over you or she is confused by something. In this case dont talk to her at all for now. give her at least 2 weeks space, without talking! i know its hard but like this you can only get her back. If you keep on writing her and some point you will be annoying for her and that also explains her behaviour for now. Check my post about my girl, what happened. Girls do some kind of protection to get over someone, so they automatically behave cold. kEEP TO THAT PLAN: - dont call - dont message - dont write anything about that online - dont talk with any of her friends/family about that - dont apologize for anything - show her that you are strong - if she is cold to you, prented you dont care - give her space !!! - and most importantly love yourself, you seem like a good guy, but we are all kind of beta-males, we need to be stronger Thank you for all the inputs! Please keep them coming. I live in Hungary and she lives in Turkey. In fact she is on a business trip now, my plan is to surprise her at the airport when she is back home. yet, i dont know if thats a good idea. but i miss her so much, its been 4 months that I didnt see her. and im so wonder how would she react, when i have her hand in mine. I wanna touch her face The girl i knew last week, would be very happy to see me. The girl I know now? i have no idea! could she change this fast? or is she acting like she doesnt give a $ to me? Edited December 1, 2013 by Milad
Robbyrob Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 Thank you for all the inputs! Please keep them coming. I live in Hungary and she lives in Turkey. In fact she is on a business trip now, my plan is to surprise her at the airport when she is back home. yet, i dont know if thats a good idea. but i miss her so much, its been 4 months that I didnt see her. and im so wonder how would she react, when i have her hand in mine. I wanna touch her face The girl i knew last week, would be very happy to see me. The girl I know now? i have no idea! could she change this fast? or is she acting like she doesnt give a $ to me? nothing to thank man!!! the easiest thing sometimes is to let her go, because you are both seperated and in two different countries. my ex gf is also turkish, funny coincident. but believe me, its easier for you to get to know another international girl in Budapest than waiting for her, it will only hurt you more. Give her space, and if she makes up the move, she will show you what you mean to her. So meet the other girl you recently got to know. at the end every girl is different, but girls get their interest back when you show strengths, happiness and when they know that you maybe have someone else. do it slowly very important. at the end what matters is that you get over her and that you are the strong person this time. we are men and once we are in love we cant control our emotions. so start thinking wise, and if its maybe better to have someone who is always close to you there than having a distance relationship with a girl who might not even want you anymore.
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